Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Hear Me Whine Roar

I would really like to post more substantially, comment on other's blogs more often and email my pals - but I simply cannot kick the constant, intense pain in my fingers, wrists and elbows.

The medication I have received for the joint pain isn't touching it and I am just too whiney tired to even bother with trying to convince the doctor how much pain I am in. To be honest he makes me feel like a drug addict when I only want relief of this pain. It's almost as if my conditions are an illusion ... i.e. not real. Makes me sad.

I am so tired of the pain scale question - y'know the one - "On a scale of one to ten what is your pain?" Well, it is about a 5 BUT by being constant [and worse when I sleep and first wake up] it is a 10. I know that sounds excessive - but I am so weary of this.

I can't pick up a cup because my fingers are too weak to grip it and extending my arm to reach for the cup causes a shooting pain up my arm. And I can forget trying to lift a 1/2 gallon of milk or put a casserole dish on the dinner table.

I have been in pain before but I thought I would at least get a little break ...

Tonight we leave for the University for Squirrel's orientation and I honestly don't know how I am going to make it through a 10 hour day for her. I want so much to be a part of this. Y'know?


Jeannie said...

I feel for you. The constancy of it amplifies pain that would be tolerable in smaller doses. I got my first relief when I started smoking weed. Just a few puffs - not really enough to get high although the world does get somewhat sparkly. What I discovered is that while the pain is still there - it doesn't feel unpleasant. It's just a sensation. And my mood was lifted a mite as well. I told my doctor I was using it because her meds weren't working at all. She went a little crazy but I don't care. It's not her that's feeling the pain and if you haven't felt it, it's impossible to understand.

Amy said...

Hang in there, Skippy. I have a good friend of ours who has lupus. She has dealt with the same thing. I remember her staying at our house about a year ago and I had to push the button on the laundry detergent for her because her fingers didn't have the strength.

it's okay to whine -it's your blog!

And by the way...happy birthday pooldad! I missed that one for some reason.

OmaLindasOldeBaggsandStuftShirts said...

It's not whining when you are telling friends how you are feeling. I wish I could take the doctors and whisper generousity of spirit in their ears, understanding of another person situation without the prejudice of their education and just plain common sense. But ya know...the mortal plane and most DR's are not even on the same planet.
I am so sorry dear.
I'm gonna bundle up some psychic energy and send it your way, with a side order of release from your pain. Close your eyes, feel my good thoughts coming to you. Believe.
XXOO Linda

TinaM said...

Don't feel like a drug addict! you are in pain! Tell them it's a 10, that way they won't mess around. Take the meds they give you only when you need them, days like tomorrow.
I hope you get some relief soon!!!!

qandlequeen said...

I ended up having a trip to the ER turned down by my insurance because I didn't make my reported pain as severe as some chart deemed necessary. What is a "5" to you is probably an "8" to the pain-chart assholes, which were probably a bunch of whiny men who go catatonic over the flu while their wives suffer even worse symptoms and manage to make homemade chicken noodle soup complete with a plucked chicken! These are the same people who dismiss women reporting mild chest pain, send them home, only for them to keel over with a full-blown heart attack.

Basically women have higher pain thresholds and what honestly feels like a 4 or 5 to us is what should be reported as an 8 or 9. Hell even childbirth in our book is a mere 6 or 7

...maybe you should discuss it with your doctor in terms of how it compares to childbirth?

And if your doctor still is not hearing you, be willing to MOVE ON and get a new doctor. There is no reason to suffer. I need my most prolific commenter healthy and able to type! (all about me! Like how I turned that around?)

But seriously, I truly hate that you're in so much pain.

Rudee said...

If your doctor thinks you're seeking drugs, next time say to him, "wouldn't you if you were in pain"?

There must be a pain specialist in your area. Look around.

christopher said...

I love how I can come to your blog and the first comment is advocating pot for pain management. :D

I hope you do okay through the orientation. I'll say a little prayer for you.

Teresa said...

i'm so sorry for your pain and how your hands/fingers are giving you such grief. i see the same thing in ron and totally get what you're saying. he hates that darn pain chart, too. what is a 10 to most people is about a 5 to him (and you, too). doctors just don't get it.

i hope you're able to enjoy the day with your girls and hubby. i bet you'll be ready for bed and a day of rest when you get back.

Teresa said...

hit enter just as i was thinking of something else...

pain specialist might be something to look into. i know that ron got very little pain relief with the conventional pain medications. he uses fentanyl patches that i replace every 3 days or he can't stand the pain (peripheral neuropathy).

Yum Yucky said...

I want to give you a great big hug that contains the medicinal properties to fix you for good. I really wish that. I'm going to say prayers for you. And I don't take praying lightly. xoxo

Kate said...

I hear you (woo late to the party!)!
I have 'migraines that aren't migraines' and really really bad joint pain. I've been put on everything under the sun (except the really horrible things, which I refused after an oxy-codine fiasco), have been accused of being a drug addict (it's cool, the hospital that overdosed me fessed up to poisoning my blood) and at one point basically decided that I would just ~suffer~ because the medical resident decided to give me T3 for 'pain whenever.'
Long story short, I got to a pain specialist who gave me: Naproxen. Yes. Naproxen - you know- Alive? yeah. It wasn't available over the counter in Canada, and I think what I get is a bit higher dosage then what the over the counter stuff is. It's amazing - worked completely, isn't addictive and ~fixed~ things.

Hang in there!