These are the ones he remembers. After reading these, can you imagine the ones he has wiped clean from his memory?
- It's a Jewish holiday. [The boy wasn't Jewish - not even close]
- Have to take my cat to the vet for a nail trim
- It's raining I didn't think we worked in the rain
- My team lost the game last night and I am too upset to come to work
- I LOST my car [one of Skippy's favorite]
- I found out my girlfriend is a lesbian and I am too upset to come to work
- I just couldn't deal with traffic this morning
- You were mad at me yesterday I didn't think you wanted me back. [He wasn't fired - he just screwed up and was reprimanded]
- I had to go to the Emergency Room. Pooldad responds "Are you okay?" Employee responds "Yah. Thanks." And then my [patient] husband requests the paperwork from the ER and the employee would say "I don't have any." What? They ran out of paper? [This happened numerous time]
- I didn't have any clothes to wear to work [so true!]
- I bought a hotdog and cigarettes and didn't have enough money to buy gas [Again, so true!]
- I didn't know we worked Saturdays [This is after the employee had worked 6 day weeks for over a month and a half]
- I thought we didn't work on holidays [It was Arbor Day]
- I am celebrating my sister's graduation from high school. [Excuse made in 1995. Sister graduated in 1993. No. Seriously.]
- I can't deal with dogs
- I have food poisoning from ice tea
- I am in jail [this happened all the time. no kidding - 50/50 on whether it was factual]
BUT THE BEST OF THE BEST ALL TIME EXCUSE CAME TODAY!
One of Pooldad's employees called in and said he couldn't come to work because:
"We didn't know my girlfriend was pregnant. She gave birth last night."