Monday, May 23, 2011

Best Excuse EVER for Calling Off of Work

In 33 years Pooldad has heard it all when his employees call out in order to miss a day of work.

These are the ones he remembers.  After reading these, can you imagine the ones he has wiped clean from his memory?
  • It's a Jewish holiday. [The boy wasn't Jewish - not even close]
  • Have to take my cat to the vet for a nail trim
  • It's raining I didn't think we worked in the rain
  • My team lost the game last night and I am too upset to come to work
  • I LOST my car [one of Skippy's favorite]
  • I found out my girlfriend is a lesbian and I am too upset to come to work 
  • I just couldn't deal with traffic this morning
  • You were mad at me yesterday I didn't think you wanted me back. [He wasn't fired - he just screwed up and was reprimanded]
  • I had to go to the Emergency Room.  Pooldad responds "Are you okay?"  Employee responds "Yah. Thanks." And then my [patient] husband requests the paperwork from the ER and the employee would say "I don't have any." What? They ran out of paper? [This happened numerous time]
  • I didn't have any clothes to wear to work [so true!]
  • I bought a hotdog and cigarettes and didn't have enough money to buy gas [Again, so true!]
  • I didn't know we worked Saturdays [This is after the employee had worked 6 day weeks for over a month and a half]
  • I thought we didn't work on holidays [It was Arbor Day]
  • I am celebrating my sister's graduation from high school. [Excuse made in 1995. Sister graduated in 1993. No. Seriously.]
  • I can't deal with dogs
  • I have food poisoning from ice tea
  • I am in jail [this happened all the time. no kidding - 50/50 on whether it was factual]

BUT THE BEST OF THE BEST ALL TIME EXCUSE CAME TODAY!

One of Pooldad's employees called in and said he couldn't come to work because:

"We didn't know my girlfriend was pregnant.  She gave birth last night."

Classic.

18 comments:

Yart said...

All I can say is WOW!

Mynx said...

OMG for real? How could you not know?

Julianna said...

So scary, but that actually happened to one of Almost Hubs's co-workers.

I still like the "we ran out of coffee" excuse.

Bouncin' Barb said...

OMG, that one has got to be the creme de la creme. I just find that really hard to believe.

qandlequeen said...

Awe-----some.

Jo-Anne Rambling said...

Whenever I hear about people who say they didn't know they where pregant till they gave birth I think how the hell could you not know did you not feel the baby moving inside you what type of idiot are you...........what did you think was moving inside you?

A few years ago my brother in-law called in sick to work his excuse was he was hit by a bus the night before and was taking the day off to recover...........true what was said was he really was hit by a bus the night before but the boss at first didn't believe him...........

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

You mean to tell us your husband makes his employees work on Arbor Day? (How heartless!)Too funny.

lyndylou said...

lol that's funny but OMG the shock!

Jeannie said...

I don't think Gary's guys always give excuses. We've had one in jail, the wife in jail (a couple times - different guys) - for Pooldad's list, I read a lot of "hangover, hangover, hangover"

But giving birth? There's a shocker!

ellen abbott said...

how can you not know you are pregnant!

becca said...

wow those are some interesting one but the last was by far the most interesting. poor pooldad

My Life

Mustang Sally said...

I don't know how it happens that I've missed your blog when we have so many friends in common but I'm going to remedy that as soon as I done here. Popped in from Mynx's party.

I like "lost my car" best ... yep, it can happen.

Odie Langley said...

Now I think I've heard it all

Julie said...

the last one i can almost believe!! My friend was told she had a hernia - a few days later she gave birth!!
But honest to goodness - some of the excuses people come up with - you don't if you should laugh or cry!!
THink i'm gonna laugh!!

Snookie said...

Actually there is a weekly TV show on now about women who give birth and did not know they were pregnant. It's on the TLC channel I think.

mybizzykitchen.com said...

OMG - those kill!! I have worked with people that somehow are "allergic" to work - they will call in if they have a hang nail.

So crazy!! You gotta give Pooldad props for being patient! :D

Hugs to you!!!

I may be in Richmond, VA this August for a family reunion - I'll have to email you on the side. :D

Sally said...

These had me cracking up! Of course, they all just leave me wondering.... people.

The Adorkable Ditz said...

Call up TLC and get them on "I didn't know I was pregnant!"