I know many things about myself. I am not delusional about too many things when it comes to who I am, how I appear physically or how I carry myself.
I will say I used to think I had a pretty good laugh. I love to laugh. I consider my sense of humor to be pretty wicked and I relish laughing at the absurdities of life. I keep telling y'all if you can't laugh at it then what is the point, don't I? Laughing has gotten us through some pretty dark days recently.
Anyhoodle. . .
I was sorely disabused of my own love for my laugh many years ago. I was working in an office atmosphere, an office that only had five employees, the owner being one of them. One day I was at the copier and my co worker yelled something out of her office that I found particularly hysterical and let loose with a very loud and boisterous laugh. Just about that time the owner walked by and pulled up quick, right next to me. Without taking a breath he shouted [yes, shouted] at me:
"Dammit Skippy. I wish you wouldn't do that. Jeeesus you scare the crap out of people with that laugh of yours. I am glad you are such a happy person, but for cristssakes don't laugh like that, would you?"
Keep in mind I was only 27 years old. Those words hurt. A laugh, my laugh, scared people? I would be lying if I didn't admit to crying for a few days over that. Oh, and never laughing at work again. I simply didn't want to
Pooldad couldn't figure out why I was reigning in my laughing. For weeks he would watch me stifle it and almost choke trying not to laugh too loud at his jokes and observations. This was darn near impossible because I can say unequivocally that my husband has the absolute best sense of humor of anyone I have ever met. Hands down. He can make me laugh with one word, a glance or just a nod to life. I wouldn't laugh tho'. Not the deep, belly, choking laughter he brings me to, nope.
I finally had to admit what had happened because I felt like I was being dishonest by not showing my true appreciation for one of the best parts of our relationship. While I cried relating the story, he became more and more angry. Pooldad rarely sees the bad in people, and doesn't rile easily, except when it comes to someone hurting me or the kids. He told me that my boss was a jerk and I had a beautiful laugh, so I had best get back to using it soon or he would have to have words with Fred, my boss. I knew he meant it.
I also knew that Fred kept guns in his office. Big game hunting rifles. The man had a coffee table made out of an elephant foot [I wish I were kidding] So in the interest of keeping my beloved husband bulletholeless I quickly reverted back to my old self.
Laughing Skippy: Scaring small children and pets since 1972.
The reason I write this post is because that laugh had escaped me these past few years. Like many other things that are uniquely me I really hadn't noticed. All my quirks, foibles and personality traits just slowly disappeared as my health began to deteriorate and since it didn't happen over night, just dropping away slowly over a long period, I guess we all forgot what I was really like, once upon a time.
Well, screw you Fred, because my laugh is back and whooboy does my ribcage ache. What a great soreness to have. At first I couldn't figure out why my ribcage and stomach muscles hurt so much and then Pooldad/Wallene/Squirrel would say something hysterical and boom! I would start guffawing [there is no other word, really] and I could feel the burning in those areas.
Pretty cool, huh?
The kicker was a video we made to send to Squirrel at college. In the video we are goofing off and saying goodnight to her. I was the one filming, so I wasn't on camera, but there is no mistaking who it is the one laughing in the background. While we watched the video I put my head in my hands and said "Oh lordy, there's that damn laugh of mine. I have the worst laugh."
[Those words hurt, I told you.]
Pooldad just looked at me and said "No Skip. You have the best laugh and really? It's so nice to hear it. I didn't think we'd ever hear you laugh like that again. I love your laugh."
Evidently love is deaf as well as blind.
And grand. Love is grand my friends. See ya' on the flipside! Love, Skippy