Monday, February 7, 2011

Okay, Not Happy

This may seem like small stuff to most of you, but my blog and...well..I need to vent.

Wallene came home with a report card on Friday that was littered with A's and B+'s...nothing less.  We were thrilled and she got a Slurpee. [We don't reward grades, but we have a tradition with the Slurpees - long story.]

Last night was the Super Bowl.  Fun time had by all of us! YAY.

Her bed time is 10 pm....but "GLEE" was on after the Super Bowl and we decided that since she had such a spectacular report card and she really wanted to watch the show with us we allowed her stay up. [Okay, we do reward - but after the fact. hee]

Don't judge. It's my kid.

We allowed her to sleep in and not go to school today.

I dutifully called the school and left a message on their recorded line that Wallene would be absent.

Good, right?

Um, no...seems you have to say their name, grade and leave a reason why your child is staying home.  I felt like saying "Wallene Skippy, grade 8 and none of your business."  But, instead,  I said "Wallene Skippy, grade 8 and she will be home with her parents today."

Thought that would take care of it. No,, no, no.

I just received a phone call, from an ACTUAL person at the school, inquiring as to the reason why my daughter was home today.  I politely told her that she was home with us and that I would send in a written excuse tomorrow and that should be sufficient. [Yes, you have to write a note, in addition to the phone call.]

The woman wasn't having that.  She insisted that I tell her why Wallene was home.

I reiterated that I would explain in a note tomorrow and thanked her for her time.

Then I hung up on her.

Unless I make up an excuse for her they will mark her unexcused.  Now, is it just me, or do I really NEED a reason to keep MY child home from school to take a day off because we had a fun time last night? I understand that I can't write "Super Bowl Party" on her excuse slip, but sometimes the little rewards are better than the big ones.  We checked her schedule and she has band [A+], PE [A], Resource [think study hall - they all have it] and French [B+] today.  I think my daughter can sleep in and spend the day with her Dad and I.

She didn't miss any days this past semester and only a few days the previous semester because of my Mom's funeral - so, really - do I have to explain to ANYONE why I am keeping MY kid home when her grades are sterling?

Tadpoles call me on the carpet if I am wrong - but I just don't understand why I can't say "I am keeping Wallene home today. Thanks." I hate to lie - so I think I am going with "Wallene stayed home on Monday due to a family situation."

Yes, we were tired, overfed and we like eachother's company.
This morning.
He thinks he is a lap dog.
Sounds like a situation to me.


Lyndylou said...

Oh Skippy you are a girl after my own heart! I often reward Holly with these kind of days and if she is struggling to pack in the revision before an exam I have kept her off for a day so that she can get the best results possible. She has great grades too.

Here in the UK we have to call in saying their name and class too and we even have to say when they will be back, not easy when they are ill!

I hope you enjoy your day and just say that she was suffering from exhaustion cos they work her so hard!!! lol

LBB said...

I so agree with you. Its your kid. Her grades are great, doen't miss school etc. You should be able to decide if she needs day off!

Southhamsdarling said...

Well Skippy, it seems a bit much that that woman was on your back like that, when obviously Wallene isn't in the habit of taking time off school, and her grades are so good. I would have been a bit peeved off as well, so I can imagine how you are feeling. I think "due to a family situation" is brilliant. Surely even they can't come back and ask "what" family situation! Good luck! Glad you all had such a lovely family together. Sometimes that is every bit as important as the school thing.

Southhamsdarling said...

Me again! Sorry, that should have read "family time" together!

BB said...

I did this with Michael when he was in school. But I would have just said he was needed at home. This is pure bullshit! You are the parent. What you do with your child is your business. Tell them she's wiping your ass because you can't! hahaha

Unknown said...

Personally I like Barb's response.

swiggett said...

My mom did this for me once, because between an AP exam and prom, I was exhausted. She told the lady upfront that I was exhausted, and needed to rest after my AP exam (which a lot of people did).

I think something like "family situation" is vague enough to be true but un-touchable. (You are all extra tired from the family event the day prior, and are in no condition to attend.) Or that she is not feeling well, and you are taking precautions. (She isn't feeling well. No need to mention that it is because she stayed up late.)

Basically, you won't be telling a lie. Merely making your truth fit into their requirements

Drew's Mom said...

I am completely with you on this. I absolutely refuse to give anyone any explanations when it comes to my son. My kid, My reasons, My business. I get that schools are all about these crazy rules lately.. but it's getting a bit ridiculous.

And congrats to Wallene on the great grades!

Rudee said...

We allowed our kids to do just as you did. Call it a mental health day. Next time, tell them there is something wrong with her eyes and she can't see coming in.

In my workplace, they are not supposed to ask what's wrong with us when we call in, but they always do.

Jeannie said...

Of course, you should be able to do what you want with your kid. Unfortunately, there are likely a few parents who don't have their kids' best interests at heart and simply excuse their kids sleeping in any old time. They didn't look at the situation only at their rules. Which are likely good.

Simply say Wallene was not up to go to school. You will not be lying. She did not get up. They can construe it as not feeling well. Which she wouldn't have anyway if she hadn't slept well.

My mother used to take me out of school on a number of Fridays in the springtime to go up to the cottage early and stock it and make beds and clean before everyone else descended. The school took issue with that too, and she was just as offended.

The schools mistake their position of authority over the child to include their parents.

Anonymous said...

Whoever that woman who called you has a stick up her butt. When I was gone from school with MRSA infections in my leg my mom made a call and it was all good. And if you want your daughter to stay home from school...A girl who sounds like a wonderful and intelligent girl who doesn't get in trouble, why is that such a big deal!?

Didn't sound like she was missing any big projects or tests or anything.

My mom did that for me a few times, let me sleep in but go to school later. Reason being was that there would be band concerts that go late into the night and first period would be band so I wouldn't be missing anything.

Now with the MRSA that I was out twice in a year I missed a bit of school and spent a lot of the time on the couch soaking in Epsom salt with my PreCalc and Spanish books.

Not to mention Chem and Yearbook stuff.

ChildServices said...

Maybe you should send that kid to school so she won't grow up to be a shit bird like you.

Jumble Mash said...

I completely agree with you, but I think the school is actually looking out for her best interest. I know when I was in school, we used to write out own excuse notes and "get out early" notes and no one EVER called our parents. We came and went as we pleased. So I guess its good that your daughter's school isn't letting them skip class and what not. BUT she shouldn't have pushed for an excuse if she'd talked to you to make sure it was legit.

Teresa said...

OMG - someone please *%#& "childservices" for his/her rude and nasty comment. you don't have to agree with someone but you should at least play nice.

back to the post at hand... she's your child, you do as you see fit and it's no one's business. you're not harming her, she's not a "below average" student with attendance issues, and everyone - and i do mean EVERYONE - needs a mental health day every once in a while. Personally, I like the "she wasn't up to coming in" comment. Great use of the word "up" there.

that guy said...


i am sure that it is just a state funding issue taken to the nth degree...

you shouldn't have to divulge anything unless you are going to take her out of classes for days or weeks.

the world is full of stupidity carried out to ridicularity!

Bruce Johnson JADIP
Evil Twin
stupid stuff I see and hear
The Dreamodeling Guy
The Guy Book
The Guy Book

Megan (Best of Fates) said...

Okay, that's SUPER frustrating. You should definitely be able to keep her at home when you want - you're her mom! I mean, I understand there's a limited number of days a child can legally miss school, but until that number is reached it's none of the school's business why!

Rebecca said...

it's crazy how the school's work these days i got a call friday telling me my son wasn't there when in fact he had been there all day. go figure

Pooldad said...

child services,

Hmmmm..pretty sure who you are. Be careful who you call on the carpet. Last I checked, you ditched your kids and are working on the FOURTH flavor of the month. My child support is LONG paid off. You?

Oh..and the "shitbird" and I spent the day hanging a/b report cards and "special student" awards in her room. We are out of wall space.

I'm very happy being the "shit birds" husband. I win.

ellen abbott said...

I'm with you. It's none of their damn business why you kept her home.

and 'child services' if you are still reading? go take a flying leap.

caterpillar said...

This post made me think...they never allow you to have a day off at school or college until it was aboslutely critical.....wonder why???

Greenmare said...

family situation it is! sometimes they (and we) need a mental health day. and that is good enough for me! I think if she was the type of kid who regularly skipped and was a general trouble maker then they should call you back like that, but when it's a well behaved good student they should just take the parents word that the kid won't be in and leave it alone.

BB said...

Hey Child Services...I'm letting you know that if that young lady grows up to be 1/2 the woman that her mother is, she will be an asset to this world. Why do people have to say something stupid when they can't say something nice.

PoolDad..You rock!

Skippy...You are an awesome friend! Love you!

Amy said...

I think you know my feelings on letting kids skip school on special occasions. As a former teacher, I never expected the paernets to give an exact reason for the absence. It is the school district and the peopel in charge of funding that are pestering you for an excuse.

Hope you had a great day with your daughter.

Amy said...

...and just so you know, I can spell. My fingers were frozen and I hit send before I proofed.

Anonymous said...

Let me preface this by saying that I don't think you did anything wrong by keeping your daughter home. (And that even if I did, it's not about what I think! :) )

I don't know about your state, but I assume it is similar to my state in that there are state laws regarding student attendance. For us, "excused absences" mean medical/illness, court, or family death (and I'm sure one or two others that I'm forgetting).

So, technically speaking, this was an "unexcused absence" (again, assuming your state laws are similar to mine). What you have to consider, though, is that having one unexcused absence on her record will do her no damage.

I would simply tell the school that you were spending time as a family. Its the truth.

And, as irritating as it was for you, the reason that the attendance clerk was so insistent on having a reason is that attendance is tracked as a No Child Left Behind statistic. Schools have to meet certain targets to avoid probation/re-structuring. If there was any way that she could mark that absence as excused, she was going to try and find it.

Word verification: dersi. As in, I dersi that your blog is one of my favorites.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Shit bird? What exactly is a shit bird? I am sure the attendance clerk has to deal with parents who are not as responsible as you are all the time. She was just doing her job as well as she knows how.What are the requirements for this job?

Sally said...

You are certainly within your judgement as a parent to keep Wallene home from school :-) It's not like she has a truancy problem. I would just say that your family had a commitment during the day that cause Wallene to not be able to attend school. I'm a firm believer that you don't need/have to tell people everything.

Yum Yucky said...

I would cite "personal reasons". I would raise hell if they insisted in more info than that. They just wouldn't get it. Let them try and see what a can of worms that would open for them.

hed said...

Child services, you're a douche. Stay out of other people's business.

I find it stupid that the school lady was all up in your face asking why she was out. I this a new thing? My mom would just call or write a note (okay, so I forged most of the notes) for the next day.


Jennifer said...

I completely agree with you keeping your daughter home to enjoy the day with her! Why must we make excuses for ourselves when it comes to that?!? Ridiculous!

life in the mom lane said...

tell them it's a "female problem" and they will get off your case. ;)

Biz said...

My daughter's never missed a day from school, but I would think that just notifying the school that she wasn't coming in would be good enough!

Hell, I use to write excuse notes from my parents all the time - but then again, that was a long time ago!

You have the right to keep her home. End of story. :D

Jumble Mash said...

Me again...

Right on Pool Dad!!!

Skippy...she deserved a day off. You did nothing wrong. She is smart and is excelling in school. I don't see a problem.

Child Services- (Skippy...can I curse on here? Yes, ok, good.) Fuck off.

ChildServices said...

Pooldaddy, you're speeeeshil. Skippy doodle, speeshil shitbird.

Teresa said...

childservices - grow up, get a life, and exit this one. you're presence is not needed or wanted.

Errign said...

I agree with you. At my elementary school and high school all you had to say was that you'd be absent, though my mother did enjoy telling them I was "taking a personal day". I guess I would just tell them she was sick with something embarrassing lol that you didn't want to share & didn't think it was their biz-nass. Ha!

Anonymous said...

What a bunch of crap from the school! They don't NEED a reason that she stayed home. It's your kid and as long as she hasn't missed more than the allowed absences and is keeping good grades, it's none of their GD business. God, I am not looking forward to having kids. I know I'll love the kiddos, but dealing with the idiots that also come in contact with the, I may have to kick some booty. I don't want to be a helicopter mom; I just want to be a mom that stands up for parental rights. Everyone else can suck a big one.

(Tried to clean up my post as best as possible before posting it. I've come to realize that maybe swearing is a big too integrated into my vocabulary. I need to find more creative ways of saying things. :))