Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The Salt Mafia . . .

. . . are tricky little bast*rds.  Harumphh.

I am the only one that watches my sodium intake.  Pooldad is great about keeping low salt and salt-free groceries in the house, but I, and I alone, am responsible for what goes into my mouth.  In almost two years I can honestly think of only two times I have exceeded my limit of 1,000 mg of sodium/daily. [Both of those days involved a certain fast food chain and their most popular sandwich.  Not naming any names - Mac - but you really need not be so tasty . . .]

I have been extra diligent since I became sicker a few months back and while we wait on our insurance to go through [no, really - don't ask] but when I was making Wallene's lunch tonight I gave in to temptation.  It's hard to make a cold cut sub with provolone cheese and deli mustard and not want a taste.

Don't think so?  You try it. heehee

So, dangit, I made the sandwich.
Here it is in all its [pathetic] glory:
I say pathetic because that lousy, HALF of a sandwich is 1,170 mgs of sodium!

It is one slice of rye bread, one slice of provolone, one slice of beef bologna, one slice of salami and 1 tbsp of brown mustard.

After I totaled it and realized I was going to over shoot my limit by more than a Big Mac for a half of sandwich, I STILL said the heck with it and sat down to eat it. [The whole while I was rationalizing how good I have been for so long - water on the lungs be damned.]

Here's where the "Salt Mafia" comes into play.  Seems "someone else" is watching what I eat too because, as much as I wanted that sandwich, I did not eat it.

Nope.  I was kept from eating it by one of my greatest gag reflexes.

Hair in my food.

[You are so glad you are still reading this aren't you?]  

And it wasn't just one hair, it was two! ::groan::  I think I could've made it past the first one, but the second one popped up so fast I wasn't chancing a third and throwing up whatever I managed to get down.  I know it wasn't mine or Wallene's because our hair is too long, so I suspect someone has been planting Pooldad or Scooby hair in the 'fridge.

So whomever is plucking my husband and/or my dog and planting their hair in the salty, tasty goodness I want? Bite me.  I have learned my lesson.  Go away.  I'll be good.

I am off to have a fruit popsicle.

I would have a Christmas cookie, but . . . um, those are all gone. [Hey! At least they are low in sodium. :D]

Have a good Tuesday Tadpoles.  See ya' on the flipside.


Southhamsdarling said...

Oh, I know just what you mean Skippy. Sometimes, something looks so good, you just think to hell with it. I'm going to have it!!! Still, someone was looking after you, whoever it was that planted those two hairs there, and you didn't eat it!! It must be very hard to be watching your food all the time like this. Amazing to think just how much sodium that sandwich contained. Eeeek! Are you still in bed, or are you feeling a little easier at the moment? Sending hugs from across the pond.

ellen abbott said...

wah. I'm so lucky I don't have to worry about salt. Hubby has high blood pressure though so we don't cook with salt. But there is nothing I love more than salty greasy potato chips.

Celia said...

I like some salty pickles! Yum!!

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

Guess those hairs saved you from yourself. Can you eat sea salt???

Take care, kiddo.

Anonymous said...

It must be very hard for you to watch whatever you're eating, to prevent to much intake of sodium. Suppose you were saved by the [hairs] this time. Have a great day! Hugs x

Anonymous said...

Hannah is the same way - tiny dog hair even lands on her plate she chucks the whole thing. Me? I have dropped a burger off the grill onto my deck that is full of pine needles and still eaten it!
Tony is sleeping now - thanks for your continued support!

Patty said...

That sandwich looks soooo good. Sorry you couldn't eat it.

Rebecca said...

omg how funny but gross to guess there are ninjas running about saving you from the salt demons. oh and sorry I didn't mean to eat all the cookies honest i didn't

Rudee said...

Most people aren't aware of how restrictive 1 gram of sodium per day really is. I admire your ability to follow your plan.

Sorry about the tasty sounding sammie...but you kind of lost me at balogna. No can do. None of my siblings eat it, either, and we believe it's because it's all our mother ate when pregnant with us. Ha.

Diane Laney Fitzpatrick said...

If in fact someone was putting hair in the food to dissuade you - that really is true love. It's like the technique used by many who had lots of siblings: If you go make a sandwich and bring it back into the living room where everyone is watching TV, the first thing you do is spit on it, so no one will want any.

Jennifer said...

Okay, Skippy...I quickly skimmed the comments and it looks like noone else fessed up. So, I'm sorry. Tell Scooby and Pooldad the plucking can stop now. They were beginning to hate me! ;)

Seriously, hair is the bane of my existence around here and there's nothing worse than hair in your food. I keep those 3M lint rollers in supply and vacuum daily but it seems like there's still hair floating around everywhere and, YES, I've even found in it our fridge. HOW THE HECK DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN???

What a shame - that sandwich looked really tasty. I love fancy deli breads but my guys won't eat it and I can't eat it fast enough before it goes bad, so I'm stuck with plain whole wheat.

Maybe it's better that you didn't eat it. I know that's not what you want to hear, though. So, forget I said it!

Have a wonderful day, Skippy!


Knitty said...

I thought of you when I saw this on Nightline

I can overlook something from my own family that doesn't belong on my plate, but not elsewhere, especially in restaurants!

laughingmom said...

Nothing like a stray hair - happened to my daughter last week when she was not eating much and we got her favorite Thai food knowing she would eat well. Yup - opened the box and there sat a hair. Luckily she threw that little portion in the sink and kept right on eating!