The BETS Society

Well known fact: I love snowmen.

  

They are the one true collection in our home that I started myself.  My wonderful husband then started a tradition of gifting me a snowman a day for the whole month of December so...I have a LOT of them.

But there is always room for one more.

Enter "Ronny" 

[He is my only snowman with a name. You will know why in a moment.]

Now, normally I would not post about snowmen in April, especially with the horrific weather we are having here - tornadoes don't exactly bring to mind snow, but....the thought behind this gift we received yesterday and the accompanying letter are so hysterical I had to share:

Please click the letter in order to read it  - And yes, for the record, I do belong to the Bloggers for the Ethical Treatment of Snowman Society.

Tee over at Middle Side of Life is the brilliant mind behind this clever gift.  She is downsizing their home for their upcoming move and wanted to find a good home for this little guy and thought of me.

I laughed so hard at the letter Wallene made me sit down so I could breath. Snow kidding.

Thank you Tee and to all of you for thinking of me and lifting my spirits every single day.  Your thoughtful  blog posts, emails, and phone calls go a long way to giving me the smiles so I make it from "here" to "there" every day.  You are such an entertaining crew and keep me going. Please know that.

Thank you all.
Truly.

When You Live In Our Home....

You do things.

Like.....

....TOILET PAPER THE DOG.

For fun.

What?
You haven't done this?
I find that really hard to believe.

I think you all want to live here.

Admit it.
You do.

 C'mon. :giggle:

[Have I ever mentioned I don't get out much?]

Have a great Wednesday!

I Made A Cake [Sort of]

Amazed aren't you?

Yeah, me too.

But, really, I made a cake.

Turns out it was a not-so-successful endeavor.

I am just imagining your surprise at that.

It was supposed to be an awesome applesauce nut bundt cake for my beloved Mom in law.

But, as usual, in all things Skippy we had a sticky little problem.
["Sticky" being the operative word in this post.]

For those not in the know the cake I made was supposed to look like this:

See the nice rounded top with the perfect indentations?

Well....I flipped the sucker out of the pan and donchta' know the entire top stayed IN the pan.  It stuck. Hard.

Yep.

That cake was pretty much flat planed on top when I got it on the plate.

Sigh.

I thought of my options and realizing I had...none...I handed the thing to Pooldad and said:

"Here. Wish our Mommas a happy birthday.  And throw some powder sugar on this train wreck while you're at it."

[God Bless my husband.]

He arrived at his Mother's house and upon presenting the cake he said:

"Happy Birthday Mom.  Skippy baked you a DECAPA-CAKE"

No wonder why I love the man.

giggle

[Turns out the thing was super tasty.
I should know.
I ate the remnants out of the bottom of the bundt pan.]

Enjoy your Tuesday!

So Much, So Little and Not Enough

I have so much to say to my family and my friends, here, on my blog.

I know these things will be one of the few lasting memories that I can give them.  It won't be on paper, but will be in perpetuity on the net.

It is about all I have.

I have so little energy to do it.

It took me six hours yesterday, after I woke up, to make two phone calls.  No kidding.  It took me six hours to cough up and breath enough to talk without losing my breath.  Anyone want to imagine what that is like?

When you think about the fact I have been out of our home only 9 times in 7 months [read that again and understand it] - is it any wonder I don't have anything to blog about?  What do I have to say to my family that isn't a repeat of everything I do every day.

I swear Tadpoles I do try.

I still have so much I want to say. I share as much as I can with the kids and Pooldad [irl], but with this blog I want to have something permanent - something that they can look back on and say "Oh Yeah - there's Mom! Skippy! My Beloved!"

[okay, okay...he has never called me his "beloved" but a woman can hope.]

[oh just be quiet]

And as hard as I try...it isn't happening.

I have nothing.

And it just is not enough.

In Honor of Easter and Passover

A friend shared this joke with me the other day and it gave me a good giggle
Thought it would be apropos irreverent for the holidays.

There were five houses of religion in a small town: 
The Presbyterian Church, 
The Baptist Church, 
The Methodist Church , 
The Catholic Church and 
The Jewish Synagogue. 


Each church and Synagogue was overrun with pesky squirrels. 

One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will. 

In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week 


The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back. 

But -- The Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. 
Now they only see them on Christmas , Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday and Easter. 

Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue, 
But they took one squirrel and had a short service with him called circumcision and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since. 

Gifts in the Mail

Surprises in my mailbox! Two very nice friends sent some love our way this week.

And there is a whole lot of talent out there in the pond Tadpoles let me tell ya'.

First, these were sent by the most gifted Greenmare.

See!

Apple Cozies

AND a reusable/washable sandwich bag

So AWESOME!  I love the Apple Cozies [that's what I am calling them Mare :D] because you know how the kids throw their lunch bags around.  No bruises! And look at that brilliant sandwich bag.  It has a velcro closure and inside is a protective, plastic liner. GENIUS! I am so excited by this idea.

Thank you Mare - it was so generous of you to send along such wonderful gifts for us.

Also in the mail this week was an Easter card made especially for our youngest by Teresa.

Look at the lovely - and yes, you are allowed to be jealous!  It's FANTASTIC - the mechanics are super cool too!

It arrived flat, but you twist it to make it 3-D. Totes Awesome. I am telling you.  Tee also sent along another card for the Squirrel but shhh! it is a secret until I mail it off, but it is really neat too!

Thank you again and again and again my friends.

I have big smiles on my face today Tads. Hope you do too!

You Know You Have a Blog When....

Your children start a sentence with: 

"Can I tell you something...."

And finish with: 

"....but first you have to promise not to blog about it."

I was a good Momma.

Your secret is safe with me Missy.

And this post will be here to remind me of that special thing you shared with me.

Love you!

Kitty Love

It seems to be "Pet a Palooza" this week at "I Make Soap"

You're welcome. 

I don't have a kitty cat, but I do love them.
I wish I could have one.

Since I can't have one - I have adopted this one.

Her name is "Patches" and she is the owner of the wonderful Vagabrauns, Linda and Denny.

Linda sent me this pic today via her cellphone - it is Patches sleeping. Not hiding, not playing - the cat is sleeping, face down on her chair.

The "awe" factor is times 10.

And true fact - my kitty walks on a leash. Now how cool is that?

Thanks NMM - It was a great present. And a wonderful smile.

When Your Tongue is Bigger Then Your Head

Not photoshopped

You really need to rethink that whole "let's walk in the hot weather" thing.

Rudee wins comment of the day:  "Now that's a hot dog." giggle 

Hey! I Watched Sesame Street Too!

The Absolute Most Useless Rant of the Day:

If one more person in my neighborhood points out that we have  "Oh my goodness a BIG dog and a LITTLE dog" while we are walking them I am going to leave the poopy bag on their front porch.

On fire.

Pooldad, Scooby, Spot and Skippy

Seriously people.

I realize it would take 6 of the little one to make the big one, but stop.pointing.out.the.obvious. Please.

And for the love of pete [hi pete!] STOP asking me WHY we have such a disparity in dog sizes.*

It has been a long winter, but we were blessed with such lovely weather yesterday that it was perfect for a nice long walk.

Love the walks.  The doggies love their walks.  I will happily allow you to pet the pups when you ask, but stop questioning us like it is so odd that we have a pony** that could basically eat the little one for snack.

It just is. 

People seem to have some misconception that one has to be either a "big dog" person or a "little" dog person.  Really?    

*Little kids are absolutely exempt from this rule.  They are cute and fine when they ask.  It is the adults that peeez me off.  

**That is, IF ponies were carnivores

And can I just say - you all have some ugly vacuum cleaners.  I must not get out much - but I have to draw the line at a purple Hoover Tadpoles.  I thought turquoise was bad. Guess I missed the bullet on that one. giggle

Hope you all are having a spectacular Tuesday - see ya' on the flipside!

What Do The Colors Turquoise And Orange Have In Common?

They don't belong on the following:

My new vacuum cleaner:

Since when are vacuum cleaners turquoise?

And an elephant:

A gift from my husband today

The beauty of having a husband who is color blind [and very thoughtful] is that your color wheel takes on a whole new meaning after you say your vows.  In fact, I think, this particular hiccup should have been included in our vows.  If for no other reason then to avoid the following conversation:

Phone rings:

Skippy:  "Hello?"
Pooldad's coworker:  "Hey Skip, it's Linda. How's it going?"
Skippy:  "Great. What's up?"
Linda:  "Uh.  We're taking bets at the office today.  And, um...we were just wondering."
Skippy:  "Yes....?."
Linda:  "You weren't awake when your husband left for work this morning, were you?"
Skippy:  "No, I wasn't......um, how did you know?"
Linda:  "Well, do you know what Pooldad is wearing today?"
Skippy:  ::headdesk:: "No, now what?"
Linda:  "Khaki shorts with thin blue strips and a purple work shirt with a green logo. Oh, and gray socks."

silence.........

Skippy:  ::sigh::  "Uh...y'all.have fun with that. Oh...and you are welcome."
Linda: ::laughing::  "For what?"
Skippy:  "Twelve hours of visual stimulation and entertainment."
Linda: "Skippy?"
Skippy:  "Yeah?"
Linda:  "For godsake's woman set your alarm tomorrow."

*Pooldad thought both the vacuum and the elephant were grayish in color.

Don't Believe Everything You See on Court TV

Jeannie had an interesting post the other day about honesty.  She titled it "Crazy" and I understood immediately where she was coming from.

When you are raised to be truthful and honest you start to lose sense of yourself when you realize that the people in this world that lie, cheat and steal actually are the ones winning. Those of us that strive to be truthful are left to wonder if telling the truth is worth the loss benefit to our well being.

What is the benefit to telling the truth when you see an opposing lie win?

Here is a little story of a court  date I had to [yet again] endure with my first husband while trying to recoup over $10,000 in back child support. Having been in court with him 39 times in under 6 years this particular story sticks out because I was stunned at what he got away with when testifying.

We were in Stafford county, VA Juvenile and Domestic Court to decide the matter mentioned above.

After the preliminaries and the "swearing to tell the truth part" the conversation between the judge, SR and me went exactly like this:

judge:  "Have either of you ever been arrested?"

In unison:
SR: "No."
Me: "No"

When I heard his "no" at the same time as mine my head spun around so fast to look at him that the deputy sheriff jumped up to make sure I wasn't going to come out of my chair and grab him.  She stood next to me while I glared at him.

HUGE LIE.

The obviously bored judge sighed and said "Yes Mrs. Skippy HAS your ex husband been arrested?"

Me:  "Yes you honor."
judge:  "Okay. How many times?"
Me:  :I held up 7 fingers: "Seven times."
judge:  "Are you sure?"
Not believing I am being questioned for this, I gasped "Yes. And he was convicted all of them."

judge:  "Well....let's see, then, shall we?"

I thought "Great. He is going to pull up his record."
No such luck.
The judge decided to just question SR instead.

judge:  "Mr. Sr.  have you ever been arrested?"
SR:  "Yes."
[I was waiting for the "Why, then, did you LIE in sworn court" question.  Sadly, no.]
judge: "For what?"
SR:  "Drunk in public."
I looked over and dropped one of my fingers - he had six left.
judge:  "And?"
SR: "DUI"
One more finger went down on my left hand.  My right hand was still up and had 5 fingers showing.
judge:  "And?"
SR: "Drunk in public."
They both looked over to my hand to keep track.
judge:  "And?"
SR: "Failure to pay child support."
Finger down...and it went on until he admitted to two more failures to pay child support and the kidnapping of our daughter.

I sat there, expectantly, waiting for SR to be arrested for contempt of court for lying.
Or reprimanded.
Or spoken to harshly.
SOMETHING.
This man had been sentenced to over 6 months in jail for these offenses [again, convicted of ALL] and served a good bit of time.

But no.  It didn't matter.  The judge just moved forward.  He completely ignored the fact that my ex-husband hadn't just lied, he had lied SEVEN times and he had to drag it out of him, with MY help.

I was floored.  I reached behind me to hold Pooldad's hand because, really, I couldn't believe it.  And do you know what happened?  The deputy sheriff [that had recently returned to her seat] jumped up to reprimand ME for trying to hold my husband's hand.

I turned forward, placed my hands in my lap and waited.
For nothing.

What was the point ?

I had heard SR lie in court before. I had heard his parents and his girlfriend lie too - but nothing like this [up to this particular day - it did get a lot worse, later] but I was flabbergasted that this was just taken as an "Oh well. Let's move on." sort of thing.

If I had lied that day in court I know, for a fact, I would've been crucified, but not SR.  I saw it so many times I finally gave up and he died owing our children tens of thousands of dollars.

I always wonder if - for all the court dates - if I had been a liar I could've saved my family a lot of angst.

So, yes...I do understand Jeannie's post.  I sometimes wonder what exactly IS the point in telling the truth.

But....

I am me.  And my Father raised a better daughter than that.

Insomnia and Skippy Are Strange Bedfellows

Not that I was IN bed mind you.

[Wait. What is a bedfellow anyway?  I should probably go over to Wiki and research it.  Wiki knows everything dontcha' know.]

Anyway....

Last night I couldn't sleep and was goofing around, online, with a good friend. [Thank the heavens for da' interwebz, time differences and my pal] and created this to picture to email to her:

It says:

"Dear Mynx -

Thank you for sending me to America.  I miss Australia, but I am learning so much and making new friends.

Skippy is a great new Mom [although she may be losing her mind] and my new diet is Altoids and 59 cent bananas*. Yippee.

Love always, Wilma" [The Wombat]

Yep. It's official. I need sleep.

*Bananas are now priced at $13/two pounds in Australia because of the cyclone earlier this year. Yikes!

Hope you all are having a great Wednesday - [Sorry I was late to the party today but we were without power for most of the morning and afternoon.  Glad there are no more storms predicted this week.]

See ya' on the flipside Tadpoles!

Now Why Can't I Do This?

The amazing Wallene sent me these today - I think I should just let her do all the pictures for my blog. Enjoy!

On the way to the zoo

The child loves old architecture and downtown DC

and billboards!

At the zoo

Hope you enjoyed!  Have a great week Tadpoles.

See ya on the flipside!

Hey! Wait A Minute! Those Aren't Cherry Blossoms......

....it's the.....

YAY!

With the beautiful weather and this being the last weekend of the blooms - DC was, well...a ZOO!

No parking to be had to see the Cherry Blossoms, so...

Pooldad decided a detour here would be fun.

And it was!

Porcupine.
LOVE!

RAWR!

Double RAWR!

4 lion cubs were born this spring - getting big!

Love you!

See the baby on her back?

Love you too!

What a wonderful day - great stories.

We won't mention the street cart hot dog with mustard and onions and the fresh squeezed lemonade.

Nope. We won't :wink:

Have a great Monday Tadpoles! Here's hoping spring has finally arrived. :)

Sometimes You Just Want to Kick Your Wheelchair

It is one of those days.
I just couldn't do it.

And, once again, I had to say no.

I seem to be experiencing this more and more.

It is Cherry Blossom time in Washington, DC and it is our tradition to take the kids downtown every year to see them.  There is a small time frame to see them in full bloom each year so this isn't a trip we could put off until I feel better.

I am not sad actually, just really frustrated that I wanted to go, my family wanted me to go and I had to beg off.  

May 2008
Courtesy of Squirrel
Very cold and overcast day

Today is a beautiful, sunshiney day with temperatures in the 70's, and here I sit. Same place. With the dogs.  Pooldad and Wallene left a few hours ago to see the blossoms.  It feels as tho' they are off at school and work.  Seems like any other day of the week. [yawn]

Don't get me wrong - there are a lot of bonuses in this scenario - I am lucky to have Pooldad, who loves his kids and spending time with them, even when I can't - I will be getting amazing pictures and funny stories from him and Wallene when they arrive home - our girl gets to do something she loves! going to Washington, DC! - the weather is gorgeous and I can enjoy it from here. Heck, I have internet, cable and phone too! The list could be endless.

It's easy to count the blessings Tadpoles and I do try.
It's just life's little disappointments that I am finding hard to take.

[And dangit - I want my DC street cart hot dog. Then again, I always want a street cart hot dog.]

:D  Hope you all are having a beautiful Sunday.

I think I need to go text Pooldad and ask him to bring me that hot dog. hee

Do You Want the Good News or the Bad News?

I have waited until the three month mark to let y'all know - and well

 ...the good news is Pooldad still has it. :D

 [Taking a bow on his behalf]

The bad news? 

He is going to be collecting Social Security for the last nine years of the baby's jr. high/high school years.

heehee

Think about that and please comment. :D