You're An Innocuous Looking Lil' Thing Aren't You?

This is poison ivy.

I am sure many of you knew that.

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I have always been an outdoorsy kind of gal. At least I used to be, but I do know what poison ivy looks like

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I will also add that I have managed to get poison ivy only once in my life.

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For that I blame darkness. And my first husband.

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Until last month.

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This time I fault the darkness and? Wallene. Because it just wouldn't be a story if Wallene wasn't involved with things such as plant life, habitat or you know - secret paths that Mom just MUST take, because they are so cool!

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When I am going to learn not to listen to this kid?

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Pooldad and I walk the dogs every evening. I have to say we live in doggy walking nirvana - the bike paths in our neighborhood are extensive [read: miles upon miles] but you rarely see a bike on them. People would rather walk their dogs. Which is great [and healthy! hey!] but sometimes people will make a path though the woods where they want to get to where they are going faster then if they stayed on the mandated "you must walk this way" asphalt paths.

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That's cool too. Blazing new trails and all. I am sure the HOA applauds you! :)

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Then your daughter discovers those same short cuts through the woods and decides it would be a great idea to take Mom, Dad and the doggies through her own special, secret [look out for that low hanging branch!] world and the Mom is wearing flip flops.

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Flip flops tadpoles. Oh, and need I mention again that it was dark? Pitch blackness kind of dark?

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We only went on this path once. Once was enough for my half naked feet as you can probably tell. She was very familar with the trail but Pooldad and I were stumbling around like fools, tripping over root systems, ducking large tree limbs, trying to keep track of Mutt and Jeff on their leashes while lil' Miss Sacagawea ran on ahead to show us the glory of - ta da! - our neighbors backyard. The things we do. Sigh.

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When we arrived home I noticed my ankle was scratched up. I honestly thought nothing of it while I cleaned it up and then went to bed.

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That was three weeks ago and yet? I find myself writing about it because I STILL freaking have poison ivy. On the front of my ankle. And it itches. And I scratch furiously it as any human being alive with fingernails and a severe lack of self control is wont to do. Right? [Admit it - you would too. Yes you would.]

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So, yeppers - I still have poison ivy. Which wouldn't be so bad since I thought I had found a fool proof way to stop itching it. I covered it up with industrial size band aids [6!] - you know the ones - head wound size? But it has decided to do what poison ivy infected skin does best when denied fresh air to allow it to dry up. It weeps. Copious amounts of water. Since, y'know - I have swell-y ankles and such at the end of the day from the water retention and there is a lot of water there. [Thanks CHF! Love you! Send chocolate next time! Heart failure humor - it gets me through the day ::wink::]

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Oh, sorry. So where was I? Oh, yeah - the itching. Any suggestions on how to take off the band aids and not itch? Benadryl doesn't work. Calamine lotion doesn't seem to help. I did actually try a "Stop Itch Stick" that Wallene had for mosquito bites and right after I dabbed it the first time she yelled "Oh I forgot to tell you that stings!!!" NO KIDDING. Why didn't the kid just put matches between my toes and light them instead [ala' Tom & Jerry]? I think the searing pain would've been less. Gah. [Again - remind me why I follow her lead?] I just really don't know what to do and the internet has all kinds of wacky ideas. Vinegar? I am not a pickle. Baking soda? Mosquito bites yes, poison ivy no. And so forth and so on.

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Have any of you had poison ivy? And how did you get rid of it? Do tell. Please?

** All wacky ideas will be considered if you promise me they worked for you.