Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Now What Exactly Did You Mean?

While watching football last night [the most boring game in the history of the NFL - c'mon NYG and Chicago at least make it interesting, jeesh] I decided to paint my nails.  Stop yawning - hopefully this post won't be as boring as that dang game.

The above fingernail polish is named "Honestly I am not a Waitress"* and is my favorite fall color.  It also happens to be very red and very startling when your family isn't used to puurty nails on Mom.

I was making dinner last night when Wallene chimed in:

Wallene:  Wow Mom. I love your nails. They look so professional.

Me:  Thanks honey.  Not too bad I think.

Pooldad:  Yeah I was noticing the same thing.

[Wallene had left the room at this point]

Me:  I am wondering what she just meant?

Pooldad:  About what?

Me:  The "professional" part.

Pooldad:  huh?

Me:  Does she mean I had them professionally done or professional as in the business woman sense or a "lady of the night" kind of professional?

[sorry, my mind - it wanders]

Pooldad:  I don't think she knows.....

Wallene returned on my last sentence.

Wallene:  What's a lady of the night Mom?  Isn't that when you stay up at night?

In unison: [loudly] No!! Nevermind.

Wallene:  [completely disinterested] Oh, okay. [Then she walked out.]

Pooldad:  [Turning to me, throwing an arm around my shoulder and channeling his inner creepy guy] So what's your rate lil' lady?

Me:  You can't afford me.

Pooldad:  I checked the bank statement today.  You're right.

Me:  Shut up.

*I was a waitress for years and that is why I have such an affinity for this color.  No slight intended.


RVVagabond said...

Wow, a child who gives up that easily. Unheard of.

word vert: syclorr. Kansans don't have to worry about hurricanes, just syclorrs.

Jeannie said...

Now see, by the age of 6, my kids probably knew what a lady of the night was because I explained everything if they asked. "Mom, what are Stayfree with wings for?"

I think she was saying that you'd done a good job.

I love the names they put on nail polish.

ellen abbott said...

my daughter's recent FB post: My kid Y'all. So I'm watching the first season of Dexter and there was the first big sex scene between Deb and the Big Bad. Very sexy, very passionate. Robin (almost 10) is on the couch next to me playing and the laptop and not paying much attention until she looked at me and said, "is that really what it sounds like?" "well", I say, "everyone is different." She shook her head and went back to her game.

Rudee said...

I love that color. There aren't too many OPI shades I don't like. Maybe it's their names, like this one, that call me.

OmaLindasOldeBaggsandStuftShirts said...

When Shel was about 14, she asked about what a hooker was. SM said ask your Mom. She did and I took her for a drive to the "seedier" part of ABQ and showed her the street walkers and went into a long explanation. Later she was telling SM where we had gone and what she had seen. She went about her business and SM comes to me and said....I swear this is true....I've been on that street a million times and I never saw any hookers....this is why we call him the duh monster too.
Now I'm gonna hafta tell Shel about the nail polish, for her profession....hehehehehe. XOXO The Olde Bagg

SkippyMom said...

@Linda - we already talked :)

@Jeannie - that is why you are the better parent - we didn't want Wallene to think Mom was a prostitute.

@Ellen - emailed you

@Rudee - my second fav is French Cognac - but that isn't as fun, eh? I love their names too.

SkippyMom said...

@Linda W - I love that story - and I am pretty sure Pooldad drove through 14th street DC [when he worked in DC] and was clueless too - but we just thought, last night, while discussing nail polish wouldn't be quite the right time to explain the term "lady of the night". She is 13 - perhaps we are stunting her growth? Worked with the other two - I think I will wait until 14 like you.

Tell Shel I will see if I can find a bottle. :D

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Nail polish would be wasted on these hands that spend so much time playing in dirt. I clip my nails short and forget about them, I suppose I wouldn't be a very appealing lady of the night.......

Calandreya said...

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The Writer said...

Lil' Lady...I'm a fan. You can talk about tuna fish all you want as long as you throw in occasional stories of your "lady of the night" escapades. I like sarcasm - and you got it. thanks for the shout out on my blog.

Anonymous said...

Great post - and I agree with the Bears game - I am from Chicago, so when they see we are 3-0 they thinks Superbowl! :D

life in the mom lane said...

*snicker* this was great... and I LOVE that color!!!!!!!