Laugh And The World Laughs With You?

Not if you hear Skippy laughing.

I know many things about myself.  I am not delusional about too many things when it comes to who I am, how I appear physically or how I carry myself.

I will say I used to think I had a pretty good laugh. I love to laugh. I consider my sense of humor to be pretty wicked and I relish laughing at the absurdities of life. I keep telling y'all if you can't laugh at it then what is the point, don't I? Laughing has gotten us through some pretty dark days recently.

Anyhoodle. . .

I was sorely disabused of my own love for my laugh many years ago. I was working in an office atmosphere, an office that only had five employees, the owner being one of them.  One day I was at the copier and my co worker yelled something out of her office that I found particularly hysterical and let loose with a very loud and boisterous laugh. Just about that time the owner walked by and pulled up quick, right next to me.  Without taking a breath he shouted [yes, shouted] at me:

"Dammit Skippy. I wish you wouldn't do that.  Jeeesus you scare the crap out of people with that laugh of yours.  I am glad you are such a happy person, but for cristssakes don't laugh like that, would you?"

Keep in mind I was only 27 years old. Those words hurt.  A laugh, my laugh, scared people?  I would be lying if I didn't admit to crying for a few days over that. Oh, and never laughing at work again.  I simply didn't want to scare piss him off again. Assh*le.

Pooldad couldn't figure out why I was reigning in my laughing. For weeks he would watch me stifle it and almost choke trying not to laugh too loud at his jokes and observations. This was darn near impossible because I can say unequivocally that my husband has the absolute best sense of humor of anyone I have ever met. Hands down.  He can make me laugh with one word, a glance or just a nod to life.  I wouldn't laugh tho'. Not the deep, belly, choking laughter he brings me to, nope.

I finally had to admit what had happened because I felt like I was being dishonest by not showing my true appreciation for one of the best parts of our relationship.  While I cried relating the story, he became more and more angry.  Pooldad rarely sees the bad in people, and doesn't rile easily, except when it comes to someone hurting me or the kids.   He told me that my boss was a jerk and I had a beautiful laugh, so I had best get back to using it soon or he would have to have words with Fred, my boss. I knew he meant it.

I also knew that Fred kept guns in his office. Big game hunting rifles. The man had a coffee table made out of an elephant foot [I wish I were kidding] So in the interest of keeping my beloved husband bulletholeless I quickly reverted back to my old self.

Laughing Skippy: Scaring small children and pets since 1972.

The reason I write this post is because that laugh had escaped me these past few years. Like many other things that are uniquely me I really hadn't noticed.  All my quirks, foibles and personality traits just slowly disappeared as my health began to deteriorate and since it didn't happen over night, just dropping away slowly over a long period, I guess we all forgot what I was really like, once upon a time.

Well, screw you Fred, because my laugh is back and whooboy does my ribcage ache. What a great soreness to have.  At first I couldn't figure out why my ribcage and stomach muscles hurt so much and then Pooldad/Wallene/Squirrel would say something hysterical and boom! I would start guffawing [there is no other word, really] and I could feel the burning in those areas.

Pretty cool, huh?

The kicker was a video we made to send to Squirrel at college. In the video we are goofing off and saying goodnight to her. I was the one filming, so I wasn't on camera, but there is no mistaking who it is the one laughing in the background. While we watched the video I put my head in my hands and said "Oh lordy, there's that damn laugh of mine. I have the worst laugh."

[Those words hurt, I told you.]

Pooldad just looked at me and said "No Skip. You have the best laugh and really? It's so nice to hear it. I didn't think we'd ever hear you laugh like that again. I love your laugh."

Evidently love is deaf as well as blind.

And grand. Love is grand my friends.  See ya' on the flipside! Love, Skippy

Reason #22 Why I Am Not Getting Anything Done

I am entirely too busy making collages of pictures.  See my new header?
And listening to music.
Oh, and answering emails.
I don't dare go and read blogs until this evening.

Y'think maybe my family will overlook the whole "Nothing for dinner" thing if I show them my really cool collage?

Nah, me either. Not when they know there are salmon cakes on the menu.

::oh crud! I just remembered Wallene has a band concert tonight. yikes!::

Okay, okay - I am outta' here! See ya' on the flipside Tadpoles.

PS - I am also keeping all you mid west Tadpoles in my thoughts and prayers. Hang tough in the blizzard. We ARE thinking of you. Love and hugs! Skippy

Funny Thing About Remission

You're family actually expects you to DO things. ::laughing::

I'm game.

I did tell them to be careful what they wished for because we will be returning to JMU on Friday to pick up Squirrel for Spring Break and I want to do this:

UREC Rock Climbing Wall

 

 

I did have to promise to do my yoga everyday and go to the gym this week [strength training, y'know], but. . .what?! stop shaking your head. . .I think I can get at least half way up.

 

Well. . . if my fear of heights doesn't keep me earthbound.  They were nice enough to remind me that I am very much afraid of exposed heights.

 

Thanks family ::mwah:: Love you too.

 

I am pretty sure you can all tell that it has been a wonderful few weeks here in the pond.  It started off tentatively with our good news back then [can't believe I have felt this good for almost two weeks!], but we are breathing easier now and refusing to think that it all won't continue. We've been knocked back a bunch in the last few years, and I don't know how to describe it, but this time just feels better, like it is going to be okay.  And if it isn't an ongoing thing, well. . . we'll just deal with that when it comes too, won't we?  Just like we always do.  Still, there is no sense in waiting around for the other shoe to drop if it might not be dangling to begin with, right? I refuse to think it might happen. Besides I am having too good a time feeling goooood.

 

There is a certain sense of peace upon the water here for me and my family and it just feels nice. 

 

I hope your week has started off in a spectacular fashion and continues to get better and brighter as it progresses. I would write my usual here, but let's not tempt faith with an actual flipside not with the rock wall in my future. ::smiling:: We'll see ya' tomorrow with an Oscar Dress Red Carpet ReCap Skippyfamily style - how'bout that?

 

Hugs and love, Skippy

 

 

 

 



Sneak A Peek Pics'

Here Fishy! Fishy! Fishy!

I am sitting here missing my Momma a wee little bit. 

Not sad or anything, just ticked because I can't pick up the phone and call her.
Call her to say "Hey, how's it going?" or "We'll be visiting in a few weeks." Or what I really want to say one more time and regretting I didn't ask just once "HOW DO YOU MAKE YOUR [POOLDAD'S REAL NAME] STUPENDOUSLY SPECIAL SEAFOOD CASSEROLE. IT'S FRIDAY AND I'M DESPERATE."

Y'know?

She would laugh at me and then give me the "pinch of this, dash of that" Patty version of that casserole.  My Mom didn't cook a lot, but when she did she was pretty good at it.  I didn't learn much from her, but she gave me the basics and occasionally she would come  up with a dish so amazing none of us ever bothered to try and copy. We just let her make it as her own.

And I am regretting that decision today. sigh

This particular casserole was only made for Pooldad. It was that special and I am guessing time consuming as well as expensive.  She knew he loves all things shrimp, scallops and crab.  Of those three things I don't think I can pick his favorite because he enjoys them all equally.

My Mom managed to find and/or create a dish that included all three, plus cheese and I think rice?  It may have been all seafood and cheese, I don't recall.  I wasn't the biggest fan of shrimp back then, so I only tasted it sparingly, but Pooldad loves it. My Mom would make it on rare occasions and it had to be an extra special day, like a milestone birthday or the birth of Wallene, something that big.

I am sitting here craving this casserole and wanting to surprise my husband with it, but. . .there is no one left that knows the recipe. Dagnabit.  Actually there was only one person that even knew it and heck if I can find it in what sparse paperwork I have.  I don't remember it well enough to even attempt to recreate it or find a similar recipe.

Okay, I know I could locate something that had all those things, but I want THAT recipe.

It makes me miss my Mom a little bit today. She was sick for so long before she passed that the fact she lived as long as she did, and on her own, in own home, was enough of a gift that when she did die we felt that we had gotten more [time] than we deserved. So, I don't go getting all weepy or heartbroken over the fact that she isn't here on earth with us. We all have to die and we were, you could say, fortunate to know that we had to make the most of our remaining time with my Mom. That was a chance only I was given with my Dad, as my sister and brother didn't live close enough [make the effort] when he died so soon after he was diagnosed.  It's just life that our parents go first and if we are lucky enough to live into adulthood and have families of our own before they pass I think it is easier to let them go when the time comes.

I have a good story about my Mom and cooking, if you would indulge me, please? Oh, c'mon, y'all always do anyway and besides My blog, My rules. ::laughing::

When Pooldad turned 40 we threw a huge outdoor party for him. Humongous.  Thank goodness we lived on half an acre because we had that many people there. It was so much fun, but . . .we miscalculated when we decided to do all of the food for the party.

We easily had 100 friends and family there and well. . ."miscalculated" is an understatement of Hindenburg proportions.

Hey, I was young! I didn't realize that when someone says "We'll be there. What can we bring?" you are supposed to say "Potato salad." Okay? 

Moms to the rescue!  Our Moms realized exactly what we had done and they got together deciding to supplement everything we had prepared with several of their own dishes.

 

 ::ThankyouGodLordJesusInHeavenabove::

 

While Pooldad and I cooked, replenished supplies and played hosts our Moms set out all their delicious food, which was immediately consumed into extinction by the mass of party goers. Pooldad and I were so busy that not only did we not get a taste of what our Moms had brought we didn't even have a chance to glimpse it. All we saw were picked over, barren carcasses of their once beautiful platters. When we found out that my Mom had brought two dips made especially for Pooldad we were crestfallen ::sad faces::  Like I said my Mom didn't cook often, but when she did it was pretty great and you always wanted some of whatever it was she made. Ah, well. The party was a success and Christmas was only a mere 5 months away. We stood a small chance of tasting them at least once in 1999.

 

My Mom wasn't having any of that.  When she found out we hadn't eaten any of her dishes during the party she went home that night and recreated them all.  Yep. I think in total there were five or six, but those two dips stand out because they had black olives in them and those are my husband's [and apparently 99 others] favorite thing.  She made all of them and returned to our home the next day to give them to us. It was great to see the look on Pooldad's face when he saw that he was going to actually get to eat Patty's food. YAY!

 

As I proofread this [yes Fitz, I do proofread. sometimes] I just realized something. An epiphany if you will allow me.  My Mom was a good cook and she liked to cook. She just didn't do it a lot. Okay, I know I've said that, but this is what I just figured out, realizing how much work it was for my Mom to make those dishes two times.  She loved to cook when people appreciated the effort. I get it now. Duh Skippy.  My Mom was a" live to eat kind of gal", while my Dad was on the "eat to live" side of the fence. They weren't very compatible in that area, because as long as it was hot and in front of him at 7 am, noon and 6 pm my Dad was content. Not so my Mom. She loved to eat, especially if it was made for her. Her favorite thing was to go out to eat. We never ran an errand that didn't include lunch out.  I don't care if we were running to the store to pick up a gallon of milk, she would schedule it around a meal time to visit the diner adjacent to our local grocer.  When she did cook at home it was usually pedestrian because my Dad didn't care and he wasn't going to rave over her efforts. It was just FOOD to him. Don't misunderstand, my Dad worshipped my Mom. He loved her beyond fail, but food was fuel and a peanut butter sandwich was as satiating as shrimp to him.  If she found someone who actually loved her cooking and that person shared their love on an almost daily basis they would forevermore be fed handsomely if it was in her power to do so.  Hence why my husband was the beneficiary of so many of her efforts. He loves to eat [surprised, aren't you? ::snicker::] and she would just smile as he served himself seconds and thirds of whatever she had prepared especially for him.

 

Ah good times. Nice memories.

 

Gee, this post took a hard left up there and ended on a detour I didn't expect.   Funny how that works, eh?  I guess that is what happens when I write my posts on the fly with whatever is on my mind. I have so much to do, but thank you for allowing me the luxury of emptying my head and my heart on an almost daily basis here in the pond.  It's nice to have friends like you to listen to me ramble.

 

I still have to clean the kitchen from yesterday [when I baked, four times, argh] find something for dinner, make a key lime cheesecake, get to Pooldad's work before 1 pm, finish an email to our realtor for the homes we are looking at tomorrow, get ready for a meeting with our Priest at 4 pm [no pressure there, mind you] and did I mention I just looked up and it is snowing? It wasn't when I sat down to write this, so um. . .I think I better get my size 4 fanny out the door. EEk!

 

Yes, that does say "size 4". GO ME! ::skippyhappydancingoutthedoor:: Coming next week: The wonderfulness that is size 6. WOOT!

 

See ya' on the flipside Tadpoles. Stay warm and safe in all the snow you're getting out there. Hugs and love, Skippy

 

The Words I Have Been Waiting to Hear, Here

"It's nice to have you back sweetheart."

                                                         From my husband to me
                                                         February 20th, 2013

Happy flipside Tadpoles.  We'll see ya' there.

Holy Time Flies Tadpoles

Wow. Just a quickie post today, but I have to ask because I need to know.

How in the heck do you guys get all you get done in a day?  Have I forgotten something?  Where does the time go? And I don't even work outside of the home which makes my progress to clearing my checklist today pretty pathetic.

I don't know what's going on but I go to do a task or a chore and suddenly the clock is telling me my husband or a kid is going to be walking in the door any minute and it looks as tho' I haven't done anything?  It isn't organization, it's just things just take so much longer than I remember? Huh. I don't know. It isn't age or my illnesses, because I feel like a million bucks, but running to the store, putting dinner on and cleaning the bathroom has consumed my ENTIRE DAY and I am not even done with the bathroom.

Oh, and I fibbed about dinner. I have no idea what we're having for dinner. Sue me.

I feel like calling Pooldad and asking him to run some random errand in West Virginia just to buy some time y'know?  He actually prefers I do nothing, he thinks I am over doing it [I'm not, trust me] but I want it nice for him and he can just relax. So. . ..what do YOU do?

[Yes, yes. I KNOW if I got off the blog I may be able to get it done, but my mind. MY MIND won't stop asking these questions. And y'all are the answer. Okay?  Now hush. ::grinning::]
 
Please leave me any hints or suggestions in comments or please, at least, share what it is you super women and men are doing in your ponds. 'Cause I want some of that.

Hugs and much love Tadpoles. We'll see ya' on the flipside of the Windex. XO Skip

Kill The Soup

Slow cookers are a good thing. Throw a bunch of ingredients in it in the morning, let it simmer all day and by dinner you have a hot and tasty meal. Easy peasy.

We love our Crockpot.  We use it all year round and have a lot of recipes that are certified Family Favorites that rotate in on a monthly basis. It's a fun game to walk in the door at night, stand and sniff the air, trying to guess what Momma put in the 'pot that morning.  I especially like it in the summer because you can make so many great side dishes for your cookouts without heating up the kitchen.  Come to think of it there isn't a whole lot I won't cook in the Crockpot.

One thing I love, love, love to make is soup. I love soup because [1.] You can use whatever you have on hand [2.] You can season it any way you like, making it as low in or free of sodium as needed and [3.] I lurve soup.  Nothing says comfort and the warm toasties like a big pot of soup on the counter. Yum, yum, yum, yum, YUM.  Besides soup can be  made low in calories and has been proven to cut your caloric intake at dinner time if eaten before a meal. Win-win Tadpoles.

Now, my most recent soup?  Winner, winner no meat dinner. This stuff is gooood.

Side note:  I wasn't raised Catholic but my Mom always served fish on Fridays. She also thought she was an old Jewish lady. Really  I don't know why, but I got in the habit of not eating meat on Fridays from her, so when I married Pooldad it was fortuitous that he had a ready made Catholic who agreed with the no meat on Fridays deal.

I knew Friday, especially a Friday during Lent, I would have to come up with something non meat.  I really like fish, but I get tired of fish.  And has anyone priced the stuff lately?  I will wait until Wallene and I can go fishing this summer to get back to more fish Fridays. Anyhoodle - I decided soup since I had several different kinds of fresh and frozen vegetables and herbs on hand. Before Pooldad got up I could just chop, dice and mince it all up, toss it in the pot with some water, beans and seasonings - and presto! We would have tasty, lowest sodium vegetable soup with bread for dinner. As I said easy peasy.

I ended up with almost a full crockpot. I kept adding stuff and well. . .we had a lot of soup. No problem because we ended up eating a lot of soup [Remember I said it's low calorie? Well, I'll see that rationalization and raise you two more.] Too tired to portion it out and freeze it for later use I just put the whole entire [removable] crock into the fridge and went to bed.

Saturday morning we had a lot of running around to do so I whipped out the crock, put it in the heating element on low and we left for the day.  Later when we got home it had evaporated a bit more than I would've liked so I added some water, a can of diced tomatoes with mild chilis [If you haven't tried diced tomatoes with a seasoning in it in your soup, you must. MUST. I am telling you.
They make so many different options. Pick one. You won't be sorry. I promise your smile will be even prettier if you throw a can of those in our soup. I ain't lying. Nope.] Along with the water and tomatoes I tossed in a big bag of cabbage I had diced just for such an occasion and once again I had a big, honker pot of soup.

You may have noticed that honker may well be one of my all time favorite words to use to describe the large size of something. I don't know, but it just rollllls off the tongue doesn't it?  And you try and say honker out loud without the corners of your mouth turning up just a wee bit. It is a word that begs you to smile when you say it. You're welcome to borrow. ::grinning::

We ate soup. Again.  This time I paired it with homemade poppyseed rolls filled with the leftover sausage and sauce from our Valentine's Day's dinner for the family. I just had a roll. It was good. Nah, it was great. It had sat for a day and had all those extra ingredients, so, yes, yum.

I put that half full crock of soup back in the fridge and went to bed. I told you, so easy.

Sunday dawned, bright and sunny, but cold. Windy, blustery, no snow [you selfish bastard winter] bone chilling cold.  The soup came out of the fridge and back into the heating element. We went to church, ran errands and came home to yet, more soup.  I could feel Wallene rolling her eyes behind my back when she asked what was for dinner. Ah well. I like soup, her Dad likes soup and I don't see her cooking dinner, so you will eat the soup kiddo.  Friday night I had baked a 1 lb boneless, skinless chicken breast with garlic, paprika and pepper that Pooldad chopped up, added celery, onion and a touch of mayo to for a killer chicken salad [served, of course, on those rolls.]  We had added yet more water and veggies to the soup, so when dinner was done, we still had soup.

What to do?  What to do?

Turns out we didn't have to decide.  Because it appears that the soup wasn't as epic as I thought or everyone was tired of it [including me subconsciously apparently] because about 3 am I rolled over in bed, poked my husband and said "Did you put the soup away?" He sleepily replied "No. I thought you had."  And we both knew Wallene wasn't gracious enough to put it back in the fridge, not with the risk that we would have it a fourth night. So. . .

YessireeBob, we killed the soup.

Poor soup. I came down this morning to a cold pot.  I shed a small [imaginary] tear because it was so delicious, had served us well and now I know I have to actually make dinner again. Dagnabit. I had a pretty good run there, didn't I?

No worries. I have a ham bone in the fridge that stares me down everytime I open the door. It wants to be made into Senate Bean Soup. Yesss!! Unfortunately SBS isn't the type of soup that can be continually added to, but we won't run the danger of leaving it on the counter either. We'll finish it off in one night with leftovers for Pooldad's lunch.

I am not adding recipes to either of these soups because they are my own, "eyeball" recipes - as in I just eyeball all the ingredients and hope for the best - but if anyone wants a starter on either just let me know I can email you.

Hope y'all have a great Monday. A lot of the government has today off here in the US, as does my family, so I have peoples to play with WOOTHOO! But y'know, I want to know why, if everything is closed and no one is at work, why, just why I have a doctor's appointment today at 3 pm?  Did they not get the memo that said everything is closed?  I think if the banks are closed then I shouldn't have to go see my doctor either.  I think that's fair, don't you? When does Skippy get a day off? I want a holiday too. :) Besides I just saw him on Friday. I see entirely too much of this man. If Pooldad didn't know better he could get suspicious. HA!  As it is I really like this particular doctor so it is almost [a.l.m.o.s.t] a treat to go see him.

Okay, as I said hope y'all have a great Monday.  Keep your dancing shoes on and at the ready. More adventures to come. I love that you dance with me Tadpoles and I am beginning to think I may have a lot more to dance about here in the future. Smile LOUD! Life is a gift.

We'll see ya' on the flipside. XO Skippy

Strikes To Spare

I have tried writing this post a thousand ways, but I am going to let the pictures speak for themselves.

Needless to say. . . yesterday? Was AWE-some.

 Please note my very first ball bowled in 6 years. 

I love you guys. I hope you have a spectacular weekend. I will be thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers. Thanks for everything, really. You're the best!

We'll see ya' on flipside! WOOT!

PS: Please note that my lovely husband did not bowl a single strike. Not one. I had four.  But, um. . .who's counting? ::giggling::

No, Honey, Really You Shouldn't Have

::ah-choo::

Our first "official" Valentine's Day was a resounding success. YAY!

Actually, I was gifted with more than I had even bargained to receive.

We exchanged thoughtful, loving cards [a first!], shared a nice bottle of sparkling cider and fell asleep, holding hands, talking about what a really nice day Valentine's Day is.

::ah-choo::

Three guesses what else my darling, loving, generous husband gave me for Valentine's Day?

You don't get the first two ::ha!:: because I am pretty sure you know he kindly gave me his big, honker, lurgy head cold.

Thanks honey, really. I will get you for this.  ::cough/hack::

Oh well, it stands to reason. We are a pretty tight couple y'all know.  And I was taking care of him - so what did I think was going to happen when I checked his temperature with my lips instead of a thermometer? Huh? And then there is the whole hand holding thing we just do and well. . .it's heeereee.

I am not the least bit worried about it tho'.  It's been years since I had something as simple as a head cold. If this had happened two weeks ago I would've been way down for the count and scared. As it is I feel like a million bucks, minus a few pennies and I am going to kick the behoohoo out of this pansy-butt little cold. Right?

[I have a sneaking suspicion I am going to be eating my words by calling it "pansy-butt". I am, aren't I?  ::wry smile::]

::ah-choo::

In the meantime I suggest y'all buy stock in Kleenex and Double Stuff Oreos. 

The tissues are self explanatory, but the Oreos? 
They have restorative powers.
No, really. 
Just don't check the package[s].
'Cause if that statement were true - I would've never gotten sick in the first place. ::sniffling::

We'll see ya' on the flip::ah-choo::side Tadpoles.  Now, go wash your hands [eyeballs? monitor?]. I don't need y'all getting sick too.

[It IS that contagious.] XO Skippy

Who Are You?

And what have you done with Pooldad and Skippy?

It's official. We have lost our minds.  Nah, just kidding - but [always a but] I have something fun to share with you.

You guys know, well most of you do, that Pooldad and I don't celebrate Valentine's Day. We are of the belief that we have 365 days a year to say I love you and make the other feel special and loved, why do we need a specific day to make it happen? In fact we find Valentine's Day a little sad because if you have to wait until that one day to tell the person you love that you do love them well then what does that say about your love for another?

Besides all that - the pressure. Who needs the pressure of a day to profess love? bah

Oh, and something else about February 14th I have never mentioned?  It is Pooldad's first wife's birthday. [May she rest in peace]. Although that never played a role in our decision to not celebrate it - I didn't know this tidbit until a few years into our marriage - the day became somewhat of a joke with her attached to it. [She is a whole other story - but most of you know the crazy that she was before she passed.]  She is gone now, and as I said, we hope she rests in peace, but I don't know if he being gone, gone doesn't play a small part in today for us.

Or is that we are approaching two decades together? Is it because with everything that has gone on in the last few years that maybe we DO need an extra special day to show the other what they mean to us? Or do we just want an excuse to decorate the house, eat a themed dinner and invite Cupid over for a glass of sparkling cider?

Hmmmm - I don't know Tadpoles, but something is in the air. Most definitely.

It started with me overhearing my husband tell Wallene that he had to get out and buy me a Valentine's Day card. Color the kid shocked because she said "But I thought you and Mom didn't . . ." It will be the first one he ever gave me. ::grin:: Of course dinner is planned. We always do a red dinner and red dessert, but I am taking Pooldad lunch today. Any guesses?  Yep - a heart shaped pizza with his favorite toppings and red velvet cupcakes to share.

What? Too much? ::laughing::

The best part?  Pooldad left for work today dressed in a red hoodie. Unheard of I have to admit.  He doesn't wear red as a rule since he is a bit of a redhead, and I have no earthly idea where this new hoodie came from, but he was wearing it well I must say.

Looks like my husband has upped the ante for this particular holiday, yes? 

And it appears as tho' Skippy better get cracking.

A red mani pedi is just a start my friends. Just a start. ::sigh:: Gosh, it just feels so good to feel so good, doesn't it? But I will have to think of other "stuff". I am a wee bit out of practice for this day.

I hope you all have a wonderful day and you are as appreciated and loved by those who mean the most to you as I love and appreciate every one of you.  I do!

Happy Valentine's Day Tadpoles. Thanks for all the well wishes for my husband [they worked!] and we'll see ya' on flipside.

Love XO Skippy

PS: Please read the comments - JILL WINS for the BEST Idea EVER! Love it!

There's Just Something Not Right About That

A couple of observations from the pond this week. Things that made me go "Hmmmmm. Something not right about that."

• What is the fun in having your best friend home from work for a few extra days and all he does is sleep.  Yeesh. We finally get a bit of good news, I'm feeling like a million bucks and my poor husband goes and gets the head cold of all head colds.  Dangit.  He really is sick, but still, we are just so happy, sooo happy, that I can take care of him. It will never make up for all he has done for me in the past few years, but it's a start. Besides, it's fun.  The whole nurse/patient scenario thing, right? 'Cept my patient is in a coma.  I did tell Pooldad that I would've gone batshit insane these past 4 years if the roles had been reversed and he had spent such an enormous amount of time in bed as I have had to do. It's like your favorite person in the whole wide world is mere steps away, but you can't touch, talk to, play with them. All's well tho' and we really appreciate the good wishes and the hint about the Listerine [Thanks Juli].  New favorite word this week? "Lurgy" [courtesy of Pete's Mom] has just the right amount of phlegmy sound to make it perfectly descriptive for what Pooldad has.
• This one made me drop my tea mug on Monday.  So, here it is 2013 and I FINALLY decide to make an honest Catholic out of my husband and convert. ::gasp::  No great shakes. Y'all know this and we have always been Catholic in our practices and beliefs [okay, we try, we're Christian, not perfect], but with a little mortal sin and no paperwork thrown in just to make it more interesting, right?  And now? NOW? The Pope, our Pope, the head of our Church, the closest man to God on this planet, decides to resign?  REALLY?  First Pope in 600 years.  When I heard this I was, initially, sad, but then I began to wonder.   What is God trying to tell me?  Did Pope Benedict get the memo that I am becoming a Catholic in a mere few weeks and suddenly he decided that this was the end of the Church as they know it, so he might as well get out before I get in? ::laughing:: Yes Tadpoles, MY mind DOES work like this.  Sick, isn't it?  I am sad tho' and I shouldn't joke because for Pope Benedict to resign before death means that he must be really ill and his time is probably measured in days, not months. I sense that he didn't want to die close to Easter and decided to leave so a new Pope would be chosen and would be able to lead us through our most holy season. We all pray for him.
• And finally I just wanna know.  When was my doctor going to tell me that all this weight I am so excited about is actually just water? Skippy you really need to read up on this stuff more and stop blaming the doctor for not telling you everything.  Water that will disappear in 7 weeks when I am done with this drug?  For the first time in oh....3 years? I didn't weigh myself this morning. And I am not going to again.  I am finished. Fini. Nevermore :P  I know my body well enough that I will know if I have too much water on my lungs and I will get myself to the hospital if need be, but I am not playing the scale game anymore.  There is just something not right about one medication that has so many side effects. If the payoff wasn't the most beautiful thing to come into my life since I gave birth to Wallene I would be throwing the bottle out the window right along with my scale.  Life is about weighing** balancing the good and the bad and as many and as varied as the side effects of this med are, the simple fact remains - I feel like Janine again. The old me. The me I want to be. For Pooldad, for the kids and for you guys. My friends.  I figure I get to enjoy my curves until Easter and [God willing] by then I will be in remission. For that I will happily go back to being skinny stick girl again since my other meds will still [and always will] be in the mix. 

Now if you will excuse me it is time to warm up the hamsters. I have yet another doctor's appointment this afternoon. Funnily enough it is just a check up - a check up to make sure the side effects haven't killed me. ::grinning::

Smile LOUD Tadpoles, 'cause life is a gift.  Happy Lenten season to all of you and we'll see ya' on the flipside.

**Not even I wanted to write that bad of a pun right there, okay?
And yes, that is my real name. Let's just keep that between you and I okay? ::wink:: It's a one time thing. Love you guys!

Overheard At Band Practice

Wallene was talking to her band teacher, Mr. D, about the upcoming marching band season.  Her friend Daisy came up to them and not being a student of his began asking a lot of questions.

This was the finish to the conversation:

Daisy:  "So Mr. D, I can't decide. Which should I do next year? Concert band or marching band?

Mr. D:  "Well, it depends. Which instrument do you play?"

Daisy:   "I don't play an instrument."

Mr. D [not missing a beat]:   "Flag."

Mr. D. Gotta' love him.

 

 

Amazing how the time is flying by Tadpoles, isn't it?

 

I hope everyone has their power restored and life is returning to your normal.  Looks as tho' another storm is coming later this week. I think someone needs to find Groundhog Phil and explain the concept of "early Spring" once more, don't you?

 

 

No worries.  We'll make the best of it as we always do - and in my case it is always warm in the Oscarz.  He is so warm I put almost 300 miles on him in the past 48 hours. YAY! Love drivin' my car. WOOT.

 

Pooldad laughed at me yesterday when I was driving him to the store.  I guess I was driving a little zippy, but he commented that it was unlike me, and Dale Jr. had nothing on me Sunday. ::grinning:: What can I say - Oscarz is FUN to drive.  3 hamsters and a rubber band at the ready. Whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

 

I suppose I should get off to bed.  Poor Pooldad is so sick.  He is as sick as. . .well sick as someone who has a huge, honker head cold. I don't think I have heard him sneeze this much in all our years together.  He is such a good sick guy tho'.  As long as it stays in his head and doesn't travel to his chest [or us!] then all is well. He says he can handle that.  Still, sucks to see him so miserable.

 

 

Take care gang. We'll see you on the flipside. xo Skip

 

 

Orange Cake recipe is in the previous post.

She Fudged Me Up

Wallene is the culprit.

Lil' stinker has kicked her Momma's behind in the delicious creativity in the kitchen department.

I raise 'em right. ::grin:: Or it's genetic.  Okay, okay. The child can read. I digress. . .

Now, before I get to the reason #2 why I am never going to have to complain about gaining weight again, I am going to give you the damn Danger Cake recipe.

Y'know, before one of y'all hangs me in effigy.  Bah. Needy froglets.

This is a version of the original that I made because the original contains a lot of the sodium free baking supplies I happen to have hoarded here in the pond, and I assumed not everyone bakes with those.  They also react different than their sodium laden counterparts so I can't simply swap out one for the other.   Besides, this one is waaay easier.

Never say I don't love you guys.

Skippy's Danger Cake or Orange ya' Glad I Made Cake

 

1 box vanilla or French vanilla cake mix
1 box vanilla instant pudding

3/4 cups orange juice
1/4 cup oil*
1/4 cup applesauce*
4 large eggs
2 tsp orange extract
1 HEAPING Tbsp orange zest [The more the merrier on this ingredient. You can never have too much zest. Don't skimp. Trust.]

*You may use all oil or all applesauce.  A bit of oil makes it a bit better, but if you never use any, you'll never know the difference, right?

Grease 10 cup bundt pan or two 9 " cake pans or line cupcake trays.  Your pick.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees

In a large bowl or the bowl of your stand mixer put first 2 ingredients.  Stir until incorporated.
Make a well in the middle and add remaining ingredients.
Beat on low for 30 seconds until moist and mixed. Scrape bowl.
Beat on med/high for 4 [yes, that does say FOUR] minutes.  Whip it good ::channeling DEVO::

Pour into bundt pan and spread evenly. Don't press too hard as you want to keep the air that you have whipped the eggs into IN the cake. Fluff gang, fluffffff-eeee.  You will have to watch your own oven as mine is old and cranky, but I baked it for 20 minutes, spun it around 180 degrees, and finished baking an additional 20 minutes.  It is done when a skewer comes out clean and the top is a deep golden going towards golden brown.

Same for the cake, but less time, depending on your oven. It took me 32 minutes. [I turned at the 15 minute mark.]

Regular sized cupcakes can be filled 3/4 full with [I kid you not] an ice cream scoop. Yes! This batter is so insanely thick that it is almost like scooping soft serve ice cream.  Do not overfill, you just want them to crown, otherwise they burn on the underside. For the regular cupcakes it was 26 minutes, turning trays around half way through. Again, skewer/toothpick test them.

Mini cupcakes can be filled just as easily with a Tbsp sized cookie scoop. Squee! So easy. Really don't over fill these because they are so darn cute when they slightly rounded with no muffing top. These took 14 minutes total - and blah, blah, blah - as above.

Three choices on glaze and frosting.

I am sooo giving today. Yeesh.

Glaze:  Melt one 1/4 cup of [un or] salted butter in saucepan, add 1/3 cup white sugar, dissolve. Add 2/3 cup orange juice.  You may also add orange zest [more the better, say 1/2 Tbsp] and 1 tsp orange extract. There can never be too much orange flavor. I know.  Bring to a boil and let boil slightly until thick.  About 2 minutes.   After you have cooled and flipped your bundt cake out take the aforementioned skewer and poke a gazillion microscopic holes in the top.  Pour cooled glaze over the top and let that baby soak.   It will harden faster in the fridge - first because it is cold in there, but secondly, and more important, it will be out of your line of sight and you won't be tempted to eat the whole honker thing before it sets up.

Alternatively you can add 2 tsp orange extract to a can of prepared vanilla frosting.  Microwave in 1 minutes increments until runny. Pour that over the cake and well. . .

Yeah. THAT.

heehee This is fun.

I made two types of icing/frosting. Sort of.  I made my regular butter cream frosting which is unsalted butter and powder sugar whipped into airy delightness to which I added the 2 tsp orange extract and some zest.  I also colored this orange because well, butter is yellow and I wasn't making a lemon cake. Besides which orange is such a happy color.  This is my favorite because it is sodium free and light as air. 

Or for the "sort of" recipe you can use the canned vanilla frosting, 2 tsp extract and some zest, whip it and not microwave it. Viola. Easy peasy ain't nothing measly about these cupcakes. Oh, yeah. ::grin::

Now, about Wallene and the Fudge.  Or I should say THE Fudge.

Aww hell, Tadpoles.  You don't even want to know how good this stuff is.  Really. Knowing some of you, I know you are going to say "Yeah, well Skip here's the thing. I never liked fudge." I respect that.  I understand. The texture, the chew, the chocolate. Oh, wait. Forget the chocolate part.

This stuff is CONVERT fudge. ::laughing:: 

I thought I had cornered the market on the "Yes it is humanly possible to eat 5,000 calories in one afternoon" dessert with that cake.

Nope, suuuure didn't.  Not.even.close.

Pooldad and I had a date night during the day yesterday.  A date night if you want to call looking for our next home in the mountains of Virginia a "date", which I do, and we left Wallene at home.  Before I left I noticed a lonely bag of very favorite butterscotch morsels on the counter and offered them to Wallene to concoct something while we were gone.

Saturday's Roadtripping

Little did we know.

 





Like I said, she can read and she found the recipe for what I consider the best fudge I have ever eaten.  Yes, I used to be one of those people that really didn't like fudge, but what are you supposed to do when your daughter greets you at the door, holding a square of Butterscotch Chocolate Fudge  and behind her you see the rubble of what used to be your kitchen dismantled from the epic fudge making? I told her that I only wanted a little taste because dinner was in the crockpot and I had to eat first, but I would try.  She cut me 1/2'' inch square.

And then another.

And another. . . .

Soup?  What soup? 

Fudge.

It's what's for dinner. [No hypepole whatsoever in that sentence.]

My blood sugar is still somewhere north of my roof.  Gawd this stuff is good.

I am most proud of her because she made her own marshmallow fluff to add to it.  We didn't have any in the house, we never do, but she found a recipe for that and made it.

This stuff is Christmas present worthy.

I can honestly see this becoming a tradition at Christmas time and the whole family clamoring for it.  We are just going to have to come up with a great name for it that doesn't include her blogname, Wallene. [She hates her nickname on here. oops. Who knew? Sorry kiddo, I wasn't the one that ran into a WALL, hence your nickname.]

Now - go hassle HER for the recipe. I'm kidding. As soon as she divulges it I will send it along for those who would like it. You won't be sorry. Your family won't be sorry. And your friends will simply move in with y'all.

And on that I gotta' go. Sorry for any typos - leave any questions in comments and I will email the response, 'kay?

Take care Tadpoles. And thanks for being so patient with me. See ya' on the flipside! Love, Skippy

Taking One For The Tadpoles

It is such a glorious day in the pond that I am not the wee littlest bit ticked [nope!] that I just wrote another entire post - with the cake recipe no less - and while I was out of the room for a moment it disappeared.

POOF!

Dangit. Why does this keep happening?  And it was a good post too, with full Skippyness on display.  Just what y'all needed on a Saturday morning, right?
It's better than coffee, 'tis true.

As it is I don't have time to rewrite it, but I wanted to assure you that I will do it when we get home tonight. because. . . .

In light of the comments on the previous post and a few choice emails I have received I will admit to being a little afeared of y'all. ::laughing::

You are a cranky mob when you don't have cake. 

And yes, I did take one for the team.
How you ask?
I actually made a third Danger Cake.
[For those of you counting that is 3 batches of this cake in less than a week. I am averaging a cake every 36 hours. HA!  120 lbs is in my rearview and coming up fast mmmkay? ::grins::]

But I know you understand why I did.
I had to make absolutely sure it was perfect for my friends, right?
 ::cough::

Okay - we're ouuuuutttttaaaaa here!  If you are in the snow, please stay inside, warm and snuggly. We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers that the power stays on and you will be dug out soon. In the meantime enjoy the downtime.

See ya' on the flipside gang! Love ya', Skippy

PS - Now Blogger is just screwing with me. I looked in "Drafts" while posting this and the last post, with the recipe is there. Sigh. I need to clean it up. So no cake until tonight. See ya'!

Making My Cake And Eating It Too

Yes ma'am Skippy!  It's been a good day here in the pond, y'think?

::happy sigh::

Without any idea or fore knowledge that there was even a possibility that "C" could go into remission, we were not only stunned by the doctor's confidence that this can be, at least, put into dormancy for the future, but a little surprised that having dealt with this for almost a year no one has happened to mention before now that this was a possibility.

Okay, "little surprised" is an understatement. Either we are deaf, stupid or we are asking the wrong questions when we go to the doctors.

Whatev'.  And, y'know what? Who cares?  All we know is that after 8 more weeks of treatment [go me!] and we should know. But considering the results so far, it appears to be heading in the best possible direction.

It will be a nice outcome knowing I will always have to live with "A", "B" and "D" while waiting for "E" [side note on "E" - I could get bumped down the transplant list or completely taken off depending on the treatment there too. That I do know!]  I won't ever be able to erase the board entirely in my favor, but it is such a sweet piece of relief, a weight lifted and the 300 lb gorilla in the room lost a few pounds, that I will take whatever I can get.

So go ahead, call me hopefully optimistic,  call me Pollyanna. . . just don't call me late for CAKE.

Orange Ya' Glad I Made Cake cake to be more specific.

Being that it is winter and citrus is a scarce commodity in these parts it stands to reason that I, of course, am craving it desperately.  A glass of orange juice, a tangerine or lemon in my tea is fine.
But that's just it.
Those things are FINE.
Fine if you want to get a dose of vitamin C and a taste of Florida, but. . .
I don't want FINE.
I want knock your socks off, blow your hair back, you're licking your plate to get the last morsel OUTSTANDING.

 And don't we all deserve that?

 I say "Damn Skippy!"

[Useless fact of the day:  Those that don't know the phrase,"Damn Skippy" is a southern way to resoundingly agree with something. How convenient for me, eh?]
 
I love this cake. It's fluffy, light, orangey tasting. Tadpoles it is so, so, so toe curlingly good.  The fact that it has actual orange juice in the ingredients takes away a bit of the guilt after you've [daintily] h00vered 4 cupcakes [prove it] And you are allowed to over indulge in this cake.  It's goodness is worthy of celebration and besides you can always shut that voice in your head up by explaining that you are simply preventing scurvy.  Hey! It could happen. ::laughing::

Use whatever excuse you like, but trust me when I tell you if you make this recipe you may want to invest in an industrial sized lock for your pantry. You are going to want to keep this bad boy under lock and key because you won't want to share. [No one wants to share this cake, but the true reason is you will want to eat this cake in one sitting. There isn't self control in existence that can withstand this cake.  No need to ask me how I know THAT....um, okay?]

I had originally planned on following a recipe the first time I made it. It was entitled "Orange Cake" ::borrriiiinng:: but it had too much vanilla and lemon in it, so I decided pppbbbllllttt on that and made my own concoction.

It instantly became THE family favorite.

Let me put it this way. I made a dozen cupcakes to mail to Squirrel at college earlier this week.  How many do you suppose are in southern Virginia as I type this?  Yep, no crumbs in her mailbox this week I am afraid.

Tonight there is a bundt cake on the table, glistening with orange glaze and I swear it is taunting me. "Come Skippy. You deserve meeee. Just one piece....it won't hurt."  

On second thought?  I care too much for y'all to share such a dangerous cake recipe with you. I best keep it in the family.

I know, I know, but you'll thank me later. No, really you will.  I have gained three pounds this week. And on that? I am not exaggerating. I gained THREE whole pounds.

I think I am going to have to rename it.  Instead of my original moniker I think I will dub it "Danger Cake". It will be the James Bond of cakes.  Good looking, tasty, but oh' so lethal. ::wink::

Tadpoles you are the rockin' best - and I mean that. I don't think I will ever be able to explain or to thank you all enough for all that you do for me and my family.  I thank God everyday that y'all are in our lives. Without a doubt. We are blessed.

Thanks gang. We'll see ya' on the flipside. Hugs from the pond. xo Skip

Favorite Comment

You guys are hysterical and very, very loving.  Your support on the last post was so heartfelt and wonderful. Tadpoles I am glad y'all know me well enough to understand what that post was truly about.

Now about those comments?  You crack us up!  We have been chuckling and laughing over each one. They are very special and mean the world to us.

Since it would be impossible to say which comment was my favorite - heck that is like picking a favorite child -  I am going to air on the side of nepotism and post what my handsome husband wrote. Y'know, once I let him loose. ::wink::

I think you'll like it.

pooldad has left a new comment on your post "The FUN Side of Side Effects":

Well, we received more positive news at the Doc's today. Stay tuned.

In the meantime, I need a nap.


YIPPPPEEEE!  ::skippyhappydance::skippyhappydance::skippyhappydance::

Yes, it is [guarded] good news, but the doctors seem to think they can get me into remission in the next few months.  I am exhausted and I am sure it is unfair to leave off the details, but forgive me. It's been a long few days and I really do need to go lay down.

Trust that I will be back tomorrow - bells on! - with more smiles and good news.

Thank you again, truly, from our hearts. Your support through all these trials has sustained us.  No matter what, we always know where we can turn for the comfort of our friends.

You guys are the best! We'll see ya' on the flipside. Hugs and love from the pond, Pooldad and Skippy

The FUN Side of Side Effects

Woohoo!

It's amazing what six hours a sleep can get ya'. I feel like a new woman. And only ONE more day until I get to the doctors.

Boy, that was one screwed up post. But it stays - and I hope, truly, you got a laugh out of it. My family, although incredibly worried, were quite entertained for a week.   Wire me up and take away sleep - and I am ALL that and a stick of gum. [no I don't know what that means either. deal.]

So. . . . .I have spent entirely too much time talking about the bad part of prescription meds. Well, come to discover there is a very interesting and dare I say nice? side effect to one of my current medications.

Good thing too, because if that medication is going to keep me up for a week the least it can do is make it fun.

And this is a side effect the doctors would never tell you about.

Seems that this particular drug can go either way in the ::ahem:: libido department.

What? Shocked?  Yes, I am going to skirt the issue of sex.  Don't worry you bunch of prudes ::said with love:: I am not going into detail - it was just funny how it all came about.

The disclaimer says [paraphrasing]: "Can cause increased or decreased sexual arousal."

Take a guess. One guess.

I don't do anything half way folks. And I didn't have my first 3 children in 3 years because it was my  Christian duty. Okay?

I would be a man slut if I had been born male, ummmmkay? As it is - I am fortunate to be with a man that after almost 18 years STILL makes my knees go weak when he kisses me.  I am so not kidding about that.  I was in the drugstore yesterday and I looked out of the plate glass front doors while waiting in line. There stood my husband, just looking off into the distance, and my heart skipped a bit. This happens all the time.

And I know that many of you know what I am talking about because you feel the same way about your husbands, wives and boyfriends, girlfriends too. A lot of you are in even longer term marriages/relationships and I guess if we could we would still be populating the world if it was medically possible to have children at our age.  We're older, not dead.

So it should come as no surprise to anyone that reads this blog that I got the bonus part of the "OR" in the disclaimer.

All hands on deck. Or at Chez Skippy? All my hands on Pooldad.

Go ahead, join Wallene and say "Ewwwwww." giggle  It's not that bad. I am discrete. Okay, the grocery store yesterday not withstanding, but I can't help it. I thought I had a healthy sexual appetite before?  Oh hell. I think Pooldad was happy to get to go back to work this morning. Less pressure.

heehee

Seriously. I give him a lot of credit. He has to deal with all of this and still holds out the hope the old me comes back someday.  Don't get me wrong, he loves me in all my incarnations, but it isn't easy to see someone you love ride these rollercoasters everyday.  Besides being the caregiver for someone so ill, he has to still go out and work and do all the other things life requires of him. He does it all without complaint. I honestly don't know how he does it. Do you realize that Pooldad talks to NO ONE about me?  No one.  He doesn't have a blog. He doesn't go out drinking with his pals or tell anyone at work.  He holds everything very close to himself. Which is a admirable trait, but I just want it all to end so he can find some peace again.  I want to go back to the beginning and do it all over again, but this time do it right. Or better. Heck, all I want is to go and get the 18 years back, so I can tell him again, everyday, how much I love him.

Okay, so the sex thing?  I figure this is a side effect that benefits us both.  It took a few days to manifest itself, but ding::ding::ding:: it showed up, and boy howdy, it took us both off guard.  Being me, my passion pretty much went down as the pill count went up.  Think about this and realize there are only so many times your husband can hold your hair back while your head is buried in the toilet that the mental picture sticks.  And don't get me started on my self body image problems.

I know I am not long on this medication, thank you God, and I am not saying sex defines our relationship. It never has, but for the moment?  It is nice. It feels nice to feel attractive, to feel sexy and desirous instead of stepping on the scale and seeing another valuable pound gone.

There is another hurdle to overcome.  Pooldad told me a long time ago he is afraid to touch me or hold me too tight.  He is afraid he will break me. You have to understand we are the kind of couple that used to wrestle around, goofing off and he wouldn't think twice about snagging me up and throwing me over his shoulder. Or hanging me upside down by my feet. We are a very physical couple. Or were. And it isn't age stopping us, at least I hope not. It's me.  And my health. Or lack of.  It's been hard for both of us to go from me being able to run down the stairs, take a flying leap and him catching me to him coming in the door, quietly, hoping I am sleeping and trying not to wake me up.  Or sleeping on the edge of the bed because he knows if he even nudges me in his sleep he will hurt me.  I keep trying to convince him that it's okay to touch me, like his wife and not his sister, that YES, PLEASE hug me, bend me back. Plant one on me. But he won't. He is scared of hurting me. And it hurts to see the pain in his eyes.  The worst is his quiet resignation.  That what he wants, I can't give him and it isn't coming back.  It isn't how it's supposed to be.

Sometimes the pain in my heart for what I have done to him hurts so much more than my bones.

That is why I like this particular side effect.  It gives me a chance, the desire to go back to what I was.  I equate sex with love. I have never had sex without it. If that is too much information, so be it, but it is only put out here to make sense out of this post.  In fact, I don't call it sex, I call it making love, because that is what it is.  It is the desire, the ability to show my husband how much I love him. It is the one thing that I have that I can chose who to share it with, the ultimate gift, if you will.  I am not going to say what others do or call it is wrong, it's just not me. Or us.

Now, just because I have the desire for it, doesn't mean. . .well, let's just say I still have to get over a few hurdles with the man. Like the whole "don't want to hurt you Skippy" worry and whatnot. But, as usual with me, I have a plan.

I was going shopping for lingerie this afternoon.  Y'know, something pretty and frilly, but now that I think about it? A visit to the sports store might be more in order instead.

I hear hockey gear can be quite beguiling if worn correctly. ::wink::

I don't call him my "long suffering husband" for nothing.

Have a good one Tadpoles.  You've been the best and we all appreciate it here in the pond.  Have a great Tuesday and we'll see ya' on the FLIPSIDE!

So When Can I Expect Those Hallucinations?

I want to say one thing before I start this post and that is forgive me. Oh, and I don't want pity. THAT'S more important, the no pity part, but you are going to have to forgive me because I have had 6 hours of sleep since Wednesday.

I swear on Wallene's life that I have been awake for 83 out of the past 89 hours.

How weird is this?  My computer took a one second video of me.  This is what I look like. In one second. ::grin::

Yep. And this post isn't going to make a lick of sense.  But I don't really know what else to do or who to turn to, so I write. This post.

Pooldad, quiet little pup, is out of his mind with worry. The doctors give a raging sh*t about much of anything with me anymore [see? forgive me] I avoid the bastards most of the time because I don't, as a rule, like to whine. I reserve that specifically for my long suffering husband. You guys think I am saintlike in my ability to stay upbeat?  There is a place at the right hand of God for my husband. He is a SAINT to have to put up with me.... so if you feel the need to comment [and I love your comments y'know] say something nice to him. THAT will make me smile. Although I am near delirium at this point, so y'know there's a big a** goofy smile on my face. hee

Okay...where was I? Forgive me.

As I was saying I have had, cobbled together, a total of 6 hours of sleep since Wednesday night at 10 pm when I woke up from a nap.  I woke up from that nap in screaming pain - and well?  That didn't subside until yesterday.  And it only lessened because I broke down and took a drug with heinous side effects - one of which is INSOMNIA.

Sigh ::sound of Skippy's head banging against the wall::

Raise your hand if you know that I have suffered from insomnia for oh, how many years?  Two internet cookies to you if you have ever been a recipient of one of my mid morning emails. You guys know who you are ::wink:

I can't get an appointment with my Rhuemy and I just have to wait until my next scheduled appointment. I can't reach her on the phone, she's too busy I think. Or has too many patients or something. I know I should get a different one, and I have no right to b*tch about her because I won't look for a new Rhuemy, but I am fed up with trying to find doctors and then breaking them in to my particular situation.

[Get ready, I am sure you all can write the next sentence. I repeat this stuff enough] All told I have 4 conditions that have to be treated on a daily basis and one that cannot be treated until my number "comes up" [ahhhhh, the waiting game] but you try going in and explaining all this sh*t to a new doctor. They miss stuff and then it is up to you to catch it. Thank God for Pooldad because we may not be highly educated people, but he knows how to spot a bad interaction between meds a mile away.  Where a lot of husbands spend hours on sports sites or watching porn, my husband spends his time on the internet researching me. ::true love::  There are some meds that are so toxic to me that if I was to take them one time, that the process of going through my liver and kidneys would shut me down and I would be dead before we could get to the hospital.  THAT scares me, scares him - but doctors don't pay attention.  We try, we do - to tell them "Okay I have A, B and C with a side of D and we are waiting on a transplant for E" and what do they hear?  "Patient has life long anemia and doesn't appear to eat right. Too thin." Neither of which we mentioned on our health form. GET WITH THE PROGRAM. LOOK AT THE BIG THINGS. The very things that if you give me that particular pill will KILL ME.

Side note: Never, ever, ever go to a doctor's appointment by yourself if you can help it.  Call me, I'll go or line someone up for you.  It was the best advice I have ever been given.

Oh, wait - no sleep. How am I doing? How's this working out for y'all so far? [This is how out of it I am. I just typed the word "far" as "arf" and thought it looked good. It was not a key slip. I honestly thought arf said far.]

I have never been this wired on medication in my life and this isn't even a Class C opiate. It isn't an addictive, high like medication. It just happens to not agree with me and ::zap:: I am suddenly the Amazon Awake Woman of Sterling VA.  I am so NOT tired, I don't even yawn.

Stupid. My mental acuity is at about 45% [and that is being kind to myself] I wouldn't dare drive Oscarz, let alone go near the stove.  Hey, I did just paint my nails.  Pretty good job I must say. The only tell that I am beyond loopy is the fact I painted them blue.

Sky, sparkly, BLUE!

In case you have forgotten, I am 46. giggle Yah, blue doesn't quite scream "maturity" as much as "Justin Beiber", right? giggle

"And neither does the way you giggle insufferably through every post Skippy."  Yeah, heard that!

I finally, finally turned off everything, got undressed, crawled into bed and laid there last night. It took me three hours, but I fell asleep. No one came near me, hoping I would stay that way until sometime Sunday afternoon. Yeah, no such luck. 5 hours later I was wide awake and here I am. 5:40 pm waiting on the Super Bowl to start. A game I care nothing about, but hell, what am I going to do? Sleep? HA!

I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm not. 6 hours of sleep in 89 hours. Woohoo - go me. It's boring, lonely and frustrating.  I hate TV, I hate the internet. I hate my house. I want to sleep or go do something.

Ah well, yet another post I am not hitting publish on.

But, but - I just read this one to my husband and he says go ahead and publish it.  He wants me to go to the hospital, but I refuse. Today.  But if I don't literally just pass out at sometime before midnight tonight I am going tomorrow.  There has to be something unnatural about the fact my body can do this. It isn't healthy, I damn sure know that.

So, as I said forgive me. Foremost for cursing through this.  It is specifically for emphasis purposes and what is running through my head [Hey - who knew my thoughts were so foul mouthed? heehee] so they show up here.  And honest - this isn't a post to garner sympathy or pity or even kudos.  There is nothing spectacular about me being up this long - it is all medication doing it - which in and of itself is freaking scary and here's a complete and total tangent, but doesn't it beg the question of WHY anyone would go out and buy an illegal drug to obtain this effect?  I mean, really?  If I ever thought of putting an illicit drug on my bucket list, to say I had at least tried it before I died?  THAT idea went out the window sometime during the evening, Friday.

Oh, and yes, I COULD stop this medicine, but the idea of THAT pain coming back? Not so much. 

I am weary folks. Not tired, just plain old worn down.  I am still here, I figure nothings gonna kill me at this point [Thank you God] but seriously?

I hope something in this entire post made sense.  Here ya' go Tadpoles. Have at it, and have fun in the comments.

XO Skippy

ETA at 9:01 pm - Flippin' great. Three quarters into the Super Bowl and the damn stadium gets exactly what I want. A power outage. Lights out in New Orleans folks.

Bet the 49ers are happy - they can go back to their naps. Jimminy Crickets - 28-6?  This isn't Pop Warner gang, try showing up when the lights come back on, you're embarrassing yourselves. And it's boring besides.

Go Ravens! Oh and Beyoncé? :P to everyone that complained that she lip synced at President Obama's inauguration [how is that even news, but....ah well...] She showed y'all and HOW tonight.  Go Beyoncé!

See ya' on the flipside.