Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Okay. . .So [Bad] Poetry Isn't Your Thing. . .

[The title is a reference to the previous post.]

I realize to sustain blog readership a blogger has to post on a consistent basis.  Since I have never been a big numbers gal, doing this blog more for a journal for my family and friends, I don't sweat posting on a daily [weekly, monthly] basis.  Still, I do think of y'all everyday.

Although it has been a pretty successful year, we have had our ups and downs with my health. That I am here to celebrate another holiday season is actually a miracle.  And I don't mean that in a throw away, your every day, "can't believe I passed the geometry test" kind of miracle. I truly believed that as sick as I was when I entered the hospital in February that I was not coming out alive.  If you read the last post before I was admitted I wrote about ordering groceries to be delivered, paying all the bills and finishing our taxes. What I didn't mention was that I had also written my will and planned my funeral. Basically, I put all my ducks in a row for my death. Not an easy thing to do when you are only 45 years old. Pooldad and I thought we knew how sick I was, but when we got to the emergency room we were surprised to find it was even worse.

Okay - with ALL that said - TA DA! I am still here and better for it.  I am not only healthier than I was earlier this year, but I have changed as a person.  I truly believe that I was given the gift of life through a miracle. A miracle that I prayed for, my family prayed for and my friends prayed for.  I know I owe a lot to the doctors for their knowledge and hard work in saving me, but even they couldn't tell us [and still can't] how I came to be so close to death.  They know the reason, just not the cause. They threw everything they had at me, took every test they could, even going as far as to treat ailments they thought I "might" have because they simply couldn't explain everything.  I continue with treatment, but I know there is something else which sustains me.

I have always felt when I survived my first hospitalization back in 2010 that I was kept here for a purpose. There was a reason I didn't die that time either.  Even the doctors used the word miracle for the fact that I hadn't died at home knowing how long and how ill I was.  Now here it is 2 1/2 years later and God has done it again.  The doctors still don't know everything that is wrong with me, but they are treating the maladies they know they can and have thankfully cured me of one.

I have never been an overtly religious person, but I have always believed in a higher power. My higher power just happens to be [the Christian] God. Those that have read my blog for any amount of time ::HI Tadpoles!:: know I don't talk religion [or politics] and that I respect everyone's beliefs.  I just hope that anyone that reads this or stumbles across my blog can afford me the same courtesy. :)

I didn't start out this post to write about God, nor do I think once I got started on the subject have I done it a bit of justice.  I guess this has been on my mind a lot lately and when I sat down at the computer this is the stream of consciousness that came out of head.  Or you can blame the meds - your choice ::wink::

Just know that every morning I am on my knees, praying and during my prayers I thank God for each and everyone of you. 'Tis true.  I know how lucky I am to be here, but I especially know how lucky I am to have been graced with friends such as all of you.

Thank you Tadpoles.  xo Skippy


ellen abbott said...

Whoever and whatever name you put on your higher power, I am glad it gives you strength and solace. I'm glad you are still here too.

colenic said...

Whomever granted this miracle to you...I will say thank you. I am truly a better person to know you and to call you a friend.
I had a holiday season like that a few years ago and had a dr look me in the face and tell me I wasn't going to be here...and yet here I am kicking, screaming and still raising heck. I truly believe that there is a reason that I am still here and strive every day to make sure that I am appreciative of the gift that I have been given. (end ramble).
I know that you are a living miracle and I am grateful that our paths converged many years ago so that we can walk part of this journey together.
Hugs and blessings to you and your family this holiday season....and know that even if your readership dwindles, you will always have at least one (and I suspect many many more) who will also be reading what you write.
Love you!

Celia said...

I am so glad you are still here. I don't want to think of the alternative, but I know that it's a possibility. Until then, I will cherish every post.

Marni said...

I, for one, am happy to still have you around. I need your "giggles" when I can get them. Hugs to you!

CWMartin said...

God has good reasons for all He does. Sometimes they align with what we want and sometimes they don't. I am very happy they did here. Yours is a story of courage and family, and I think we readers are all better for it. Rock on!

Shelly said...

I Agee. God has done a true blue, bona fide miracle in you, and I'm thankful to Him for it. So glad things are on the upswing for you!

Jeannie said...

I, for one, do believe in miracles. I've seen them happen - in non-believers too. Inexplicable good things do happen and I'm so glad you have been a recipient. It is hard to talk about "religion" because it's not the rituals but what happens during them that make faith more than a belief in some Santa Claus out there. "Higher Power" or God - I don't like to say "God" any more because there are just so many childish connotations attached. I do believe in the Christian God but not really the Christian church as it has become - the institution - I do believe in the people who are the "real" church.

I'm so glad you are here with us. Modern medicine is capable of some amazing things but when you are sick, you find out just how far they still have to go. Here's hoping they get more stuff right for you.

Yum Yucky said...

Praise be to Jesus Christ for your life, my dear SkippyMomma. You have truly been a blessing to me. I love you!!!

Unknown said...

I am thankful for your (blog) friendship and that you are still here this Thanksgiving. The God I serve and know does amazing miracles. Yea!

Tony Van Helsing said...

I'm thrilled that you are feeling better, I really am. Keep it up.

life in the mom lane said...

What a lovely post... I for one am VERY happy you are still with us, as you have encouraged me and brightened my days with your humor, wisdom and cards- I had a feeling way back that it was SERIOUS... but tried to respect your privacy.
Isn't funny how we each have our own crosses to bear and sometimes those who seem the happiest are the ones who are facing the most? Continued blessings to you my dear dear Duke Mom #2! {MEGA HUGS}