Tuesday, February 9, 2010

As Close to 100% As I am Going to Get

Rockfish catchin'
One thing I dont' spend a lot of time dwelling on via my blog but does consume a huge part of my life is having Lupus. I may mention it in a private email to a friend/Tadpole or discuss it briefly in a phonecall but I don't bring it up a lot because, really? It is a pain. Haha!
But? This morning I woke up and was actually able to stand without wobbling or wincing in pain. I couldn't believe it. Ever since I fell and hurt my knee I have been a swollen mess of humanity and in so much pain that I was getting tired of being alive. It has been almost two months of this crap and I was running out of patience with my body.
When I am flaring I confine myself to two places in our home - either bed or a chair at the kitchen table. The problem with the kitchen set up was the longer I sat the more my joints swelled and the more difficult walking became. So I was forced to go lay in bed for 3 or 4 hours at a time. Not only boring but it cuts me off from the kids and Pooldad and I hate having them have to get me everything - I miss being me. I want to do for myself. Please know that they actually seem to like doing stuff for me - they never complain and are always checking if I need anything - but I don't like the role reversal - Hello! I am the Mom here.
What I think has set me on the road to remission is my chair. I have an incredible chair with an ottoman that Pooldad gave me a few years back. When I say incredible - I am not kidding. This thing is squishy, roomy, comfy - it is like sitting on a cloud. I knew I couldn't handle the kitchen chair anymore and the love seat is just a tad low for how tall I am so I asked the kids to bring my chair up from the family room and put it in the kitchen. [That was interesting - the chair moving, let me just say. lol] I wanted so much to be with the family and not in my bed.
I sat in it for about 6 hours last night and my hips, knees, ankles and feet slowly un-swelled [sorry don't have another word]. It was amazing. I went to bed at 11 pm and slept through until 6:15 am. Tadpoles - that is unheard of. I am always awake around 3 or 4 and don't go back to bed until the afternoon. I couldn't believe it.
Now, why am I telling you all of this? For a couple of reasons - I am so excited that I can walk without pain. I swear if it only lasts one day I will take it - it is heaven. I am also sitting here, by myself, because everyone is still in bed, and I need to SHARE - lol - I can stand today and cook, bake, craft and get my own glass of water and snacks! I can't wait until the kids get up. They worry and I know they will be happy to see me up and about.
And finally - I have been taking a lot of guff lately for enjoying the snow so much. And I don't understand it. I make it a point to see the best of a bad situation, not that I consider snow a bad thing as I love it, but I can't allow myself to become down everytime a flake falls or whenever I am stuck in bed because of the pain. What way is that to live life? Really. It's probably another reason I don't blog about Lupus - what's the point? I have it, I have to live with it and one day [unless my roof collapes from the snow - haha] it is probably going to be what ends my life. That is my reality. I live with it everyday but I try to have a good attitude about it, because it isn't like I can give it back, can I? Sort of like the snow - you can't stop it, so make the best of it.
And the picture? I posted that because I feel like that today. Like I could conquer the world - and I want to feel like that again and again and again.
Hope everyone has a great Tuesday. Thanks for listening.


The Boob Nazi said...

I hope your knee feels better!

Linda in New Mexico said...

Hey gorgeous girl. I could not be happier for you. It is wonderful news that you are feeling wonderful. Folks who don't have "issues" with common everyday getting along don't get it when you say the is as close to 100% and being happy, excited and victorious about it. Halle dam luyah Skippy do rah day. That's some fish catch there. Betcha didn't get that outta the pool.
vert word....aemidlyi, oh hell no, see the vert word goddess pooped on me.

Life in the mom lane said...

Skippy- screw any nay sayers! You are ALWAYS upbeat and I for one applaud you *clapping @ my pc*

About 10 yrs. ago my back had gotten so bad that I was pretty much incapacitated for about a year- I couldn't even tie my shoes! I was lucky, I was able to have surgery and now for the most part am able to do pretty much what I want with only some flare ups from time to time...

I understand your frustration- you probably forget what's it's like to be pain free... I know that's how I was... and anyone who has never been in this type of situation simply cannot comprehend.

The fact that you can blog in such a positive manner is a testament to you... your hubby & family are lucky to have you... as are we here in the blogosphere :)

Don't overdo since you ARE feeling so well! Enjoy the snow! *Hugs*

qandlequeen said...

Being positive is the best way to deal with just about every situation. It certainly ensures a longer life than the negative nellies! I hope your pain stays away for a long time.

ellen abbott said...

glad you found the right chair to help. Not having good knees is terrible so I hope you take good care of them. glad you are better. Now don't get all excited and over do it (like I would).

As for the snow, really, that's the best attitude. Can't do anything about it so what's the point in making yourself unhappy about it.

Amy said...

I am so glad you are feeling better!! I am so happy to hear that!

Now, I am going to sound like my mother...."I know you feel better, but take it easy. Don't overdo it and put yourself back in bed."

However if you are anything like me you probably read that advice and said...'bull crap, I am going ot enjoy this!'

Enjoy the snow!!! We are enjoying the rain here. It has been cloudy more than sunny which is such a rare thing. The kids and I are loving sitting, cuddling and watching the rain.


Anonymous said...

Good stuff and that is a great picture!

Rudee said...

You deserve a break with all you've been through. I can't wait to see how big your piles of snow are now!

Who gives you grief about the snow? We finally got some tonight, but I'll hold off my opinion about our storm of the year until I see how much it actually dumped. They say 10 inches by morning, but I kind of doubt it.

Linda and Denny/RV Vagabonds said...

(((((Skippy))))) Wonderful news that you are feeling human once again! *raising hand* Guilty of teasing you about your love of snow. Will stop it.

Word; bubrann. Upon hearing that Skippy Mom is feeling like her old self, Bubrann down the street cheering lustily.