Saturday, October 16, 2010

30 Days of Truth: Day Two

Day Two:  Name something you love about yourself.
Tee, JR, Wallene, Dee and Squirrel

I love that I have children.

Now, with a name like SkippyMom and a blog that contains a lot of posts featuring my kids I am pretty sure I just heard a resounding "DUH" rise from the pond.

Didn't I?

Well here is the crux of why I love having children.

I never wanted children.

[There just went the collective "GASP" - I hear you.  Now hush up.]

Seriously - I never wanted children, but somehow I was blessed with six and that makes me a very happy woman.

Growing up my sister babysat all the time.  She was THE neighborhood go-to-gal for babysitting.  Me?  I couldn't be bothered.  I didn't like little kids and when she grew up and moved on I disappointed a lot of neighbors with my refusal to watch their rugrats for pay.  I had no desire to be around little kids or babies.  It became so apparent that my Mom and sister were convinced I would grow up, live in an apartment and have several cats instead.  At the time I didn't understand the implied insult meaning behind their use of the term "cat lady".  I thought that was an awesome idea.  Living alone and having a bunch of beloved kitties around me?  That sounded great.

Also, I would listen to my sister, Mom and their friends relate horrific stories of pregnancy and child birth and decided that just wasn't in my realm of possibilities. EVER.  [Note to anyone who has ever had a baby - please do NOT share these types of stories with those that have never had children or those that are pregnant for the first time.  Regardless of the trauma you felt - you could feasibly scar some young woman for life.  If you have the need to bond on pregnancy/child birth please find a Mom and trade horror stories as I am sure most can relate, but please leave the newbies out of it unless they ask.]  The thought of everything awful they talked about in regards to their experiences was pure birth control for me.

Or so I thought.  The dream of an apartment and cats suddenly disappeared in my 21st year.

My first pregnancy was pretty easy and labor wasn't too bad.  The best part was the beautiful little girl I was graced with at the end.  I forgot everything that had happened before the moment I held her in my arms and the idea that I never wanted one of these little people just slipped away.  Here she was and I was a Mom.  Wow.

Although she was only here with us a short time I have never forgotten those first moments with her or any of my children.  I was given a second, third and fourth chance to do it again and those times I was able to take them home with me and truly be a Mom.   When I was gifted with two more [step] children in 1995 I could not believe my luck.  Here I was, some 15 odd years after I had promised to never have kids to being a Mom of 6. WOW.

It still amazes me I have to say.

Raising kids has it's ups and downs.  Motherhood isn't easy, but it isn't hard either - it is what you make of it - and the bonuses and payoffs far outweigh the disappointments and heartbreak.  It can't destroy you but it can make you a better person.

I respect people that choose not to have children because I have been there.  I know what it is to not want something that society has deemed necessary.  I understand.  You will never hear me ask "Why don't you have kids?" or "What? Can't you have children?" [ And I will trip you if I hear you asking anyone that in my presence.]

I know now that the reason for a great part of the love, happiness, humor, tears, fears and heartbreak in my life is because Natalie, Dee, JR, Tee, Squirrel and Wallene are part of my world.

That is a very easy thing to love about myself Tadpoles.

12 comments:

Linda in New Mexico said...

Beautifully said. I didn't want kids either but then life had a talk with me and there ya go. I would not trade being a Mom for anything, even when I want to strangle her, even now. Best friend, worst enemy and always a reminder that I am successful at least one something that is warm and loving and gave me my other best thing my grands. Yay for motherhood with all the accompanying heartaches and top of the world moments. The Olde Bagg

Diane Laney Fitzpatrick said...

Isn't it funny what happens to us while we're busy making proclamations about what we want and what we don't want and what we're never going to do? I always used to say I wanted to have kids but would NEVER get married. Ha. I appreciate everyone who didn't laugh and roll their eyes at me when I said that.

Bouncin' Barb said...

Good post. I too was guilty of never wanted kids and never wanting to get married. I was going to be a secretary to a CEO and live in a penthouse apartment in NYC. Yep. Uh huh. Let's say I learned a long time ago to never say never!

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

awesome post! i wanted four girls. no boys. my best friend wanted four boys. no girls. she got two girls and stopped. i got two boys and one girl and stopped. we both wonder how we could have ever wanted anything different than what we ended up with.

RV Vagabonds said...

<3

Jeannie said...

I never liked kids and didn't want any but my biological clock said otherwise. I never was overly fond of anyone's kids but mine and the exception is our Lily who has become the granddaughter of my heart if not my loins. I do like teens though - even the rotten ones.

I like to share my second labour story as there was a absolutely zero pain involved - lots of contractions but they didn't hurt. And from the time I realized the contractions were actually contractions and not just Braxton-Hicks and delivery of the first of twins was an hour and a half & the second 11 minutes later. I like to give the girls hope.

Amy said...

I am loving the 30 days of blogging. I want to do it, but robably not until later. I have been doing LOTS of phot shoots for Christmas pictures the past couple weeks.

I laughed when you talked about wanting to be a cat lady.

Hope your having a great

mybizzykitchen.com said...

What a wonderful post. Growing up, I remember leaning over to my twin sister at the dinner table, I was probably about 8 and said out loud "if you have any retarded babies, I'll take care of them!"

I saw myself as having a boat load of kids, taking in kids no one wanted to take care of.

Until I had my Hannah. I was a single Mom, so I knew that she would be my only one for a while - and I loved the life she and I had. We spent so much time together - and when I met my husband, he only had one boy.

We had the best of both worlds and knew we would never have kids of our own, because we already had the best kids!

Glad you decided to be a Momma - seems like you are a great one!

The Boob Nazi said...

I'm considering becoming a "dog lady" in the next few years.

TinaM said...

Thanks for sharing this with us :)
I'm sorry about your first baby, and so happy that you can look back on that with the good memories.

I was the exact same way. I did NOT like kids and was NEVER having any. My dream was to be a cat lady :)
But I was blessed with my son, and he is of course the best thing that has ever happened to me :)

Life in the mom lane said...

I always knew I wanted to have kids at least 3 of them.. duh.. that's what I got... however it took 2 miscarriages before I got my kids... those three years during the miscarriages were absolutely horrible...now as far as other people's kids... am not a huge fan.. I have limited patience with other peoples little kids when they misbehave- mainly I guess because so many parents do not discipline their kids. I know once we become grandparents that will change, but for now... I am happy dealing with teenagers....

Yum Yucky said...

This post has rainbows and glitter an sparkly things in it. Look at all that love. :)