It takes a lot. . .I am talking a LOT to bring me down. Considering all that is happening in our little part of the pond, I think that is saying something about how I [we] handle life's ups and downs.
But...but...what the &*^%?
I woke up this morning, sat down at my computer and the first thing I saw? The mass shooting in Colorado. Link to the Washington Post story HERE.
What is going on?
What possesses a 24 year old man, a neuroscience PhD canidate, to go into a packed movie theater and start shooting at hundreds of people he doesn't know. Men, women and children who have never done him a bit of harm? There are 12 people dead and 60 more in the hospital. I canNOT even begin to fathom the terror, the sheer panic those poor people must have been feeling being trapped in a darkened movie theater, choking on some sort of gas as bullets rained down.
I am honestly ashamed to be an American sometimes. I know that isn't very supportive of my birth country - but the shooter is one of our country men. A fellow citizen who killed several more of our own men and women.
It saddens me to my core. I just want to curl up and cry. Cry for the lives lost, those struggling to survive and for the mess that this country is in that a person can purchase weapons and walk, unhindered, into a public place and KILL.
It's as if someone said "Thank you for paying $12.50 to attend your own death. By the way, how was the movie?" I don't mean that in a flip way either. It is just how callous it is all becoming and I struggle to understand it.
What is this world coming too? What. . .How. . .WHAT am I supposed to tell my kids? How the hell do you explain this to them when you don't even understand it yourself? I certainly can't restrict my 20 year old daughter from her computer or the television and what about her little sister? How do I look into my baby's face and tell her, yet again, about the ugliness that exists in this world? How can we sit back and watch as youth loses a bit more of it's wonderful innocence because someone decided to do the most unconscionable thing imaginable?
I feel so powerless. Is anyone safe, anywhere, anymore? Is there anything any of us can do? Sure, we can pray. Pray to a God or to your higher power or to the tree in the back yard - whatever. . .but doesn't it feel like that tree isn't listening anymore?
I do well to stick to blogging about kids, pets and food. I am not particularly eloquent or well-written, but I didn't know where else to turn.
And I didn't want to cry alone.
I could end this post in my usual way, wishing you well and promising to "see you on the flipside", but at the moment it just seems so hollow. It isn't that I wouldn't mean it, I do, every single time I write it. I COUNT on the flipside Tadpoles, believe me. I have to or I would know that my illness had won. . .but I just don't know about the rest of it anymore.