Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Now I Know How My Husband Feels

I see my husband, everyday, worry about me. About my health. The fact we don't have the money for health insurance.  I see the weight of the world on his shoulders.

A week later and we are still waiting on his bosses to "make a decision" regarding his raise.

I can't imagine the pressure he is under, wanting to take care of all of us and being unable to do so in this economy.  He has worked, hard, his entire life. We have always paid our bills, never gone on welfare nor duped the government into giving us money under false disability, food stamp and welfare claims as I see so many doing.

We have been honest. We have done things the right way.  And yet?  It just keeps falling apart.

Six years ago we both had jobs. I remember back when we could afford things.

It was then that we adopted a pretty little dachshund named "Spot".  You all know and love her.

Well, I hope you love her.
She is "sitting pretty" for Momma.
At the time we had the money to afford our pets.  She had all her shots and was well fed and cared for, as good pet owners do. She is still well fed :).and has her shots. But....

Now?  We don't have dime one to take our little girl to the veterinarian's office tonight. And she is so sick.  She isn't an outside dog and we have no idea what she could've gotten into, but she has been vomiting for two days and is unable to even hold down water.  We bought her some Pedialyte, but she won't drink it.

I am tired of feeling so helpless.  I am tired of watching my husband work himself to the bone.  I worry when I look at him and I can see the the weight of our world upon him.

As I sit here and hold my puppy, unable to help her or find out what is wrong, I sort of understand what he is going through.  I can no more help her than he can help me. We are powerless to do anything.

I get so frustrated because we don't overspend. We don't go on trips, we don't use credit cards, we don't borrow money, we don't go out to eat on a monthly/weekly/daily basis.  There is no disposable income.  Not even enough to see what is wrong with Spottie.  It isn't that we managed our money poorly, it is just that there isn't any money to manage.

I am sorry to sound so down on this post, but I get so weary of people that cheat, lie and steal. I sometimes want to stop blogging because I grow so tired of the people who complain about their money problems, but then blog about how they are off on yet another weekend trip somewhere or claim they have to buy their lunch everyday because bringing meals from home is "so gross." [Yet, they admit to $50,000 in credit card debt. Stop whining and pack a sandwich.]  I run out of things to say on those blogs. I am supposed to tell you how glad I am that you had a great trip when I know your house went into foreclosure less than 3 months ago?

How can doing the right thing, for so long, be so punishing now?  We aren't perfect, but we have always tried to do the right thing.

Again. I am sorry. I will be back, happy, happy when Spottie is feeling better.  For now I will just hold her in my lap and hope for the best.

See ya' on the flipside Tadpoles.  I know there are bigger problems in the world right now - but this is mine for the time being.

21 comments:

ellen abbott said...

Oh, I'm so sorry about Spot. I know how that is. We are in the same position. In fact you'd be surprised at how little we live on and even that is getting hard to come by. Health insurance? Ha.

Unfortunately for people who have done/are doing everything right, the politicians couldn't care less. They prefer to paralyze the economy than make their opponent look good. It doesn't affect them.

Yart said...

Skippy, I hope Spot gets better soon!

Crystal Pistol said...

I completely understand your money frustrations. I try not to let the major change in our finances get to me. But sometimes, like you, I get down and upset.

The other day my son had a cavity. We haven't had money to take the kids to get teeth cleanings. So one of his teeth just rotted til it ached. We could not afford to fix it. Only pull it. And even that was a couple hundred bucks.

I get you. One of these days the economy will get better.

I hope your puppy recovers soon. I'm sad for Spot. :(

Thisisme. said...

Dear dear Skippy - I am so sorry to see you down like this, and I am so sorry to hear about poor Spot. I really do pray that she will get well soon. It's so awful to be worrying about money all the time, and I can see how you really feel for poor Pooldad. It's hard, and there's no disguising that fact. I also pray that his employers will pull their finger out real soon and give him the raise that he so deserves. I couldn't agree more that those who have done everything right and taken care of themselves are certainly the ones that are being penalized, by the state of the economy in all countries right now, and it's just not fair. Wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better for you, but I can't, so all I can offer is my support and a big hug from me to you. Please take care xx

Vicki said...

I am so sorry to hear about Spot and I'm hoping everything turns out okay for you and her...

Can you get some plain pumpkin? Either a can or boil one and mash it..but give Spot about a TB of plain pumpkin and that might help to soothe her stomach. A friend told me about it one time and I gave it to my dachshies and it worked. It works on other dogs and cats too, or so I've heard. =)


I hear you on the money problems...it's so frustrating not to be able to go out and buy the "things" you want, but to be in a position where you can't take care of a pet is so painful...I will never forget how much I cried over my Simi when she was sick one time. I had to call all of the vets and find the least expensive one to take her to because she was so sick one time. I took her in because she was over 14 years old and I was terrified over what could happen. She had a virus and the vet gave her medicine and she was okay for another year, but as a result I have a new vet who I can afford.

I sincerely hope and pray that your husband gets the raise that he deserves and that you and he will be able to have a little piece of mind. (((hugs))) from a cyber friend in Massachusetts.

colenic said...

I am sorry that Spot is sick...maybe it's a blood sugar thing?? If you have Karo syrup- try rubbing some on his gums...that seems to work when my cats are sick like that...
I am sad that things are so yuck right now- I am sending you lots of love and hugs today..and hoping that things are better this morning...

CWMartin said...

I know what you mean about the helpless feeling. And while everyone (from a business standpoint) is willing to help when you are doing okay, they're all in line with their hand out when you're down. And then of course the physical disisters (like Spot) join in. All I've learned to do is divide the issues into "I can do something about this" and "this is out of my hands." Then go one by one through the ones on the first list, and pray about both.
I hope you find something out there to help Spot. Scrappy's never been past the point that eating some grass and barfing hasn't fixed, so all I can add is my own prayers for you all.

sapphireblue said...

:Hug!: I totally get it. I feel like the hubs and I bust our hump. We make okay money, but it all goes to daycare and household expenses. I see the people around me buying RVs and boats and taking fancy vacations. We can't afford to take a trip. If my dog were to majorly get sick, I wouldn't be able to afford treatment. Meanwhile, my niece sits at home and makes babies that my taxes pay for and she has a smartphone.

life in the mom lane said...

Hugs to both you and Spot today! It is especially hard because she cannot tell you what is wrong either. Whenever our dog(s) get sick like that the vet has always told us to try boiled rice and a little chicken. It is easy on their tummies- what about good ol pepto bismal? you could use a syringe to squirt it in to help calm her tummy.
Hope she is better soon!!

mybizzykitchen.com said...

Yep, I know how you feel Skippy. My husband has been unemployed for almost 2 years now and unemployment pay is probably 1/10th of what he used to bring home.

Luckily the only debt we have is our house, we own 10 year old cars. When his unemployment runs out in January we will really have to tighten our belt.

But we can put food on our table and pay our bills on time which is more than most people can do. And be thankful for what we do have and not about the vacations we can't take.

Give Spot a big hug from me!

Knitty said...

I'm not in your shoes now, but I understand them. When things were tight for us, people suggested ways we could dupe the government, etc and we wouldn't do it because we didn't think that was right. I'm not talking about it being wrong for legitimate needs and aid, but about those who make an art of hiding assets so that they can get something for nothing.

I don't understand why good people suffer and liars and cheats seem to get away with so much, but I hold onto the belief that good prevails and is rewarded.

Hugs to you and your family.

Patty said...

There are no bigger problems than the ones in your own life. Times are beyond hard right now. You (and Spottie) will make it through.

Tony Van Helsing said...

I'm sorry that you are struggling at the moment but don't apologise for writing about your frustration, it is your right to do so. I really hope things turn around for you guys. Keep posting.

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

so sorry that you're having these feelings right now.

i'm actually kind of at a loss for words. i do know exactly how you feel so that is why when i have an opportunity to do something special, no matter how small it is, i try to do it. i don't know how much longer ron has and if i can do something to bring him joy, i'm going to try and find a way to do it. there isn't a whole lot of joy in his life right now.

when i go to visit family, i stay with my sister (free). i try to carpool with Amy to cut down on the travel expense. in order to go visit with our friends this past weekend, i took part in three studies that paid $100 each (for total of $300) and that's what we spent. our hotel total was $74. the tickets to one show were free and the tickets to the other show were $70 total. the rest we spent on gas and cheap meals - and i even brought some cash back home.

i know there are people out there who milk the system but i figure that they're the ones who have to live with the results and the fallout. i try to donate money to people in need and give "things" if i don't have money.

i pack a lunch every day of the week and spend less than $1 per week in a vending machine (usually less than $1 per month). I get free coffee at work so rarely ever buy coffee out.

even with cutting back in as many places as i can, health care costs continue to rise. oxygen is $45 per month extra. our prescriptions last month (with the oxygen) were over $500.

have you thought about applying for social security disability? out of all the people i know, i would think that you would qualify. since you've paid into social security from previous jobs, it wouldn't be taking something for nothing.

hugs and hope spot gets better quickly.

Eva Ason said...

Hi Skippy, I'm really sorry to see you feeling this down. Hope that Spot will feel better soon. You're in my thoughts and prayers my friend ((((Hugs x)))) I've painted a snowman today and was thinking of you while doing it.
Warm hugs my friend.

Diane Laney Fitzpatrick said...

So, so, so sorry that you're down. And knowing you and your chronic positive attitude, it MUST be bad if you're not optimistic.

"This too shall pass." That's about all I can say.

bruce said...

oh skipppy i so feel your pain...

and i know what pooldad is going thru, as i used to be that guy...

i am sending all the healing powers and good thoughts i can muster skippity do dah!

i will also pray for spotster!

tuck sends his doggy love as well...

i wish there were more i could do.

totally sucks to be where you are...

laughingmom said...

Skippy - so sorry to hear (read) about your troubles with Spot and I hope that the issue resolves quickly. I understand (in a way) how you feel. We are lucky to have health insurance and constantly think about this fact as many do go without. The economy is horrible and the people who have lived within their means ( as we have) are the ones paying dearly for it now - it doesn't make sense. Don't ever feel that you shouldn't post about how you are feeling - it can be a great release!

Marni said...

Right there with you. If Dozer or one of the cats gets sick, we are screwed. We can't afford it either.

We are scrimping and trying to get by as well. Hang in there, honey. I hope Spot feels better soon.

Hugs.

Rudee said...

I hope Spot feels better, soon. Sending you both warm thoughts.

Better is Possible said...

I'm reading this a few days after you wrote it and hope your feeling better today. I really get this! My thoughts are with you!