Wednesday, June 8, 2011

These Are The Things That Are Going To Make Me Smile Today

I keep this picture right next to me, on my bulletin board:
Yep. Wallene! She is 5 years old and it still makes me smile.

This was a gift to me.
 It is a beautiful rendition of Spot the Dot.

I don't know how to explain what I am feeling today, but yesterday sucked.  Big Air. It sucked the air out of the room.  It was just bad.  And for once it wasn't my health - I have been on a high since Sunday and our outing in D.C. I have done things I haven't done in forever...and I appreciated the effort. My family did too.

But...yesterday?  Yesterday was weird.  It was like the universe converged and decided I was the person that  needed to suddenly be. . . . . . .The person that kept her mouth shut.  The person that spoke her mind. The person that was asked for advice, the person that lost her patience with the doctor's office and her own daughter. The person that walked around mumbling expletives under her breath. The person that had to keep secrets from her husband because a friend asked [and although not my style, I did do it]  There are so many people I became [that I didn't want to be] yesterday that I melted down and just gave in and went to bed.

I like me and I don't want to not be me, but I had to abandon my husband and my daughter at 7 pm and go to bed.  There was no use.

I want to help, I want to do, but I have no idea what everyone wants.

My family, my friends. I really have no idea.

You ask and I answer - you question and I give my best response. But I have to ask - why do you continue to argue or give me a scenario that didn't exist before?  I don't have your answers if you don't have the appropriate question.  If I don't know or understand the problem then I will say so, but stop changing the parameters to work around what I answered to your questions.

One of the quotes I try to live by is "If you can't be nice then be vague."  I try to be nice but sometimes it becomes impossible.  Can you imagine having the same scenario with several friends over and over in one day?

None of this makes much sense, but can everyone do their friends and parents a favor - don't ask the question if you don't want to hear the answer.  You know what the truth is, we know what it is and as much as we want to be your friend we don't know what to say anymore.

I won't tell you what you want to hear just because you want to hear it, because that is wrong. I understand my advice was too much to hear but, I have no middle ground.

I want to help, truly I do, but when it ceases to make sense based on your flip and flop there is no point in the conversation anymore.

I won't lie, but I won't hide the truth [as I see it] either.
And if that doesn't work for you then I can't change that.
I am me. I can't apologize for that.

I wish you a quieter Wednesday.

16 comments:

Thisisme. said...

Unto thine own self be true, Skippy! What a day you had there. Unbelievable! Pretty miserable that you had to take yourself off to be at 7 p.m. too. I love your quote "if you can't be nice, be vague". Obviously, I don't know all the ins and outs, but I do hope that today will be a better day for you my friend. It must have all been quite upsetting for you. Some people just don't want to hear the truth. Big hugs to you my friend.

sapphireblue said...

There's that saying, "The truth hurts." Sometimes people just have to hear the truth.

lyndylou said...

The problem with some people wanting advice is that they don't actually want to hear anything else but what they think, so that they can deny the issue and therefore not act on it.

Acting on something takes courage and some people either are not ready or just want to moan for the sake of it.

I am gutted that this friend "messed with your groove!" You were having such a lovely time this past few days. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you (((hugs)))

Thisisme. said...

Sorry Skippy - I was so caught up in the rest of your post, that I forgot to say how gorgeous that photo of little Wallene is! No wonder it makes you smile every time you look at it.

Jeannie said...

It's so hard sometimes. Sometimes when people ask our opinion, what they really want is for us to be on their "side" whatever that might be, even though they know they are in the wrong. They are often offended and angry when we don't come up with the "right" answer. It may not be popular but you have to stay true to yourself if you have a conscience. Of course, that's not easy or stress free and going to bed was the best plan. Of course, I'd have had a nice shot of tequila first. After letting my dog run free up and down the street. Don't you think? ;)

bruce said...

i live by the motto....if you do not want the truth do not piss in my Wheaties when i tell you the truth...

or i will be vague...

i love vague.

Bouncin' Barb said...

This picture of Wallene is absolutely beautiful. What a little sweetheart.

colenic said...

hugs and lots of love to you...

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

Love the picture! She's still adorable.

I think some people ask for advice hoping it will sway their decisions. I know people who get really offended when their advice isn't taken (or, in the case of my dad - wasn't taken 'cause he's no longer with us) but sometimes getting the advice gives them the opportunity to look at more than one angle - and still decide that their angle is still better. Not always, but definitely sometimes. They have to weigh all the possibilities. Advice and counsel from others sometimes helps this process.

But - that being said - I don't think that people should twist things around and basically ask for the same advice over and over again if they're not going to implement it.

Julie said...

Sometimes people just don't nwanna hear it.
Hope your day got better and today is a fresh start.

ellen abbott said...

holy cow Skippy, you just described me. don't ask me the question if you don't want the truth from my perspective.

RV Vagabonds said...

Sorry yesterday was such a roller coaster; if you want a laugh just think of me standing on the steps holding the cat high above my head and trying to figure out where I was going to get the third hand to open the door to get away from the blonde labrador. All the while internally cussing the neighbor who let their dog get loose. Loose dogs--here we go again!!!!

Fabulous picture of Wallene and that that watercolor of Spot? Spot on!!! Hee.

word vert: therides (I can't make thse up) Therides emotionally have been tough, but you're tougher.

Odie Langley said...

Truly hoping for a better day for you my friend.

life in the mom lane said...

I HATE days like that!!!
On an up note- things are 100% better here- the meeting went very well and the impasse is broken! :)

Koley Cannoli said...

Go Skippy! Swing it with the big boys! This was a spectacular post. Hold your head high and proud my lady!

Knitty said...

So I shouldn't ask you if these jeans make my butt look fat? (wink)