Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Wallene You Are Quite the Dichotomy

My youngest daughter never ceases to amaze me.  Just when I think I have the kid figured out she goes and says or does something that has me standing here scratching my head.

Today was yet another perfect example of this. [Warning:  This post is chock full o' sarcasm.]

We have been filling our house up with the castoffs of my beloved In Laws 55 year marriage as they attempt to downsize their home before they move.  We have received some pretty neat stuff [Depression glass anyone? YAY] and some things that I would never have bought for our home but are fun to have.  Well, at least I thought so.

Four of these things are animated Christmas figures**.  Two Santas [one even talks - heehee], one Mrs. Claus and an Angel.  I am definitely in the lead for having the most tastefully decorated home in our neighborhood this year, aren't I?

[Your jealously?  It's palpable.  I can feeeeeel it.]

Anyway, I let Wallene pull them out of their boxes and plug them in to make sure they all worked.  Lucky us. They do!  But I don't think my lovely daughter was feeling it because she came to me with the Mrs. Claus doll and asked if we could put them outside when December rolled around.

I replied:  "No.  They are inside decorations honey. They would get ruined by the weather."

She frowned a bit and said:  "But Mom they really need to go outside.  They're creepy."

Huh?  Okay.  I admit they are a little on the Chucky side of things with their movement and twinkling eyes, but  c'mon - they are Christmas decorations tadpoles.  The conversation continued:

Me:  "What do you mean creepy?  Wallene you like horror movies and scary flicks. [I am expecting my Mother of the Year Award any day now. Thanks.]  What is so creepy about those dolls?"

Wallene:  "Mom that stuff is different.  It isn't real."

Me:  "Neither are those dolls."

Wallene:  "Mom - you know what I mean. [um? No I don't.] They are in our house and they move."

Me:  "It's not like they are going to break free Wallene and come up the stairs or something."

Pooldad:  [under his breath] "Nice going Skippy."

Me to Pooldad:  "Hush up."  Turning to Wallene I pointed out her opposing views of scary things.

Me:  "Wallene Jaws is your favorite movie but you don't like to watch Jaws II because you don't think there is enough blood in that one [her exact words] - and now you are creeped out by a couple of 18 inch dolls that will be tethered to our living room walls via cords and light sockets come Christmas time?"

Wallene:  "Pretty much."

Well - there go my decorating plans this year.  If you need me I will be over on Ebay.

**[ETA:  Pooldad just read my blog and said "What?  You mean the "Wes Craven collection?" when referring to our gang of dolls.  This is why I married him.  I know.]


Marni said...

We have a Tigger and Pooh that move and I can handle those. Dolls though? Ones that look like "people"? Ummm. Nope. Nada. NOT ON YOUR LIFE.

I agree with Wallene. Get 'em outta da house!!!! (Shudder


Sally said...

My husband would surely be in Heaven if he inherited such dolls! He loves all of those holiday moving/singing decorations...and I really don't (but then I don't do much of any decorating...)

Jeannie said...

I wouldn't want any creepy stuff hanging around either. But on the other hand, I would say I sold it on ebay and then just before Christmas, when she is out with her friends one evening, I'd hook that stuff up in her bedroom to give her a nice fright when she got home.

Linda in New Mexico said...

My SIL collects those creepy things. Ick. I'm with Wallene on this one. Let me wave my candle at you over and over and just when you think I'm gonna wave my candle I burn the house down....wahhhhahahahahahha. They are creepy. Now if ya wanna dress them up for Halloween, I've got fabric and we could change the candles to hatchets. Then I bet she would get on board the let's make it creepy train. GK just said yeah her too. The Olde Bagg

Yart said...

For the Wes Craven collection I bid one Scary Demon Dollar..... Muhhhhhhaahahahhahah! LOL!

Wallene said...

Sold to Yart - but Sally's husband has to break up the quadruplets and pick which one he wants first. hee. Skippymom

The Absence of Alternatives said...

"Wes Craven collection". LOL. I have issues I'll confess. I find all dolls creepy to be honest. I know we just met each other and all, and I am being rude by siding with your daughter... but please hear me out: scary stuff in the movies is not nearly as immediate as the scary Xmas decorations right inside your own house! Chucky is a tiny doll, one could argue.

Anonymous said...

Ha - your daughter is a lot like mine - the more gory the movie, the more she liked it!

I believe it was by age 5 that I no longer could steer her into what I wanted her to be for Halloween - from that year on she was a dead cheerleader, a dead bride, etc.

Yum Yucky said...

Put them in her room while she's sleeping, and plug it on in! (well, uh, that's something I'd do to my own spawns, anyway)

Sandra said...

LMAO! You are so funny! On my blog roll you go lady!
Your daughter is quite the smarty-pants...creepy...I'd say so!
And you know they'll get snatched right up on Ebay by some creepy couple looking to brighten their holiday!