I have been having quite a few discussions with parents lately regarding our childrens' bedtimes. Seems a lot of folks struggle with getting their kids to go to bed when the parents want them to and when they should - the parents aren't sending the kids to bed at some absurd time like 6 pm. They are normal bedtimes, age appropriate, but the kids are fighting it and making their parents miserable in the process.
I have no advice to share when they ask because I have no idea how we did it but, at one point we had 5 kids, under the age of 9 in the house at the same time and they went to bed. When we told them. There was no fussiness, no fights. We gave them the time, we expected them to go and they did.
They always did and Wallene still does.
I asked Squirrel the other day why did they just "go"? Why didn't we have a fight or a problem with them? At first she said "Mom it was expected of us, so we just did it." Okay - that is good. We never had to threaten them or punish them so I guess they were ready for bed, right?
Nah.
Squirrel let me in on a little secret. Seems since the girls shared a room, and so did the boys, they would stay up later and entertain eachother, quietly, until they were ready for bed.
I swear we never heard them - and they seemed to wake up refreshed and ready for the day, so all was good. We had no idea.
Found out this method is still in the works at Chez' Skippy.
Last night Wallene came and kissed us goodnight at 10:00 pm. She went and brushed her teeth, yelled down goodnight one more time and went to bed, closing her door behind her. [I can see her bedroom door from where I sit in the kitchen.]
Pooldad and I were watching TV. When a commercial came on I muted the TV [commercials are LOUD] when I suddenly heard what I thought was talking coming from upstairs. I asked Pooldad if he heard it too. He did. I said to him "I swear if she is Skyping someone or has her TV on at 10:30 at night I am taking both the computer and TV away. She knows better."
He agreed. He then quietly walked up the stairs, popped his head in her door, stayed a minute and came back down laughing.
Turns out Wallene was wearing her headphones to her Ipod [thanks Josie! really!] and singing to music while trying to fall asleep. What we heard was the lovely voice of our 13 year old belting out tunes.
She hadn't broken any rules - the kids have always been allowed to listen to music while falling asleep.
It was just funny that it didn't occur to her not to sing while doing it. heehee
17 comments:
Haha thats funny. We had a 9:00 bedtime when we were younger and my sisters and I shared a room. We would go to bed at 9 and then talk and goof off for hours until we actually fell asleep.
That is so funny! I have a twin sister, so we always stayed up talking at night - we shared a room our whole lives!
We ended up with about 18 inches of snow - so crazy!
That was funny!! Strangly enough, I never had any problems with my two going to bed when they were younger either. AND at that time, they didn't have tv's or computers (don't think computers had been invented then!! LOL!)in their rooms. Just a music player. I think they both liked to go up and read, which is okay by me! Hope you and your lovely family have a great weekend.
Man, all that time I struggled to fall asleep last night I never even considered trying to sing myself to sleep!
Maybe I've forgotten, but I don't recall fights over bedtime, either. My son was the tough one and to this day, he's a night owl--like his mom and grandfather before him. He'll do well to pull the midnight shifts if he ever gets to D.C.
Some people are just wired differently, and apparently, this may be from birth.
Thats so funny! It worked out great for you guys. But I think its also great that they could be so quite even if they were sneaky & staying up a little later! Pretty cute :)
Getting my son to bed was never a problem but getting him up in the a.m. was a fight every single day. He was a night owl and stayed awake even after going to bed. To this day he is a night owl.
aw how cute of her and i have never had trouble getting kids to bed..bedtime is bedtime no questions asked
same with my house... bedtime was it and it was done. they probably listened to music in their rooms or read. we didn't have TV in their rooms, either.
how cute of wallene to sing herself to sleep.
We had a ritual at bedtime for our kids and they always complied - because I'd read books to them to get them unwound. Of course, if they were still wide awake, they'd chatter together but they stayed in bed.
I never had a set curfew for my kids either. They tended to be home at a decent hour unless something special was going on anyway. Why make rules they'd feel compelled to break?
That's so cute! I can't fall asleep too well with music playing, I have to have a loud fan on for white noise.
P.S.
I've gotten in trouble for not going to bed like I should have, but now it isn't that bad. But it happens periodically.
http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/
I remember having a hell of a time with my middle child, but he's my negotiator. He wants to finagle everything, even today as an adult. My daughter pointed out that we never could pull out of the driveway without him running back inside for something.
But you nailed it. If it's expected and there is no wiggle room then it happens. It's that wiggle room and the negotiating that extends bedtime unnecessarily. Once I wised up to his game and stopped playing along, bedtime stopped being a battle.
Now homework? I'm still scarred from that fight.
Too Cute!
I think bedtime music is perfect. THomas listens to his. Often we will wake up at 4 am and hear his music playing. If he wakes up in the middle of the night, he turns it on to help him fall asleep.
And yes, I did see her face from Saturday. Looks like I'm going to have to get used to funny faces!
My boys have had a rule of half hour "quiet time" before lights out. Originally meant for reading, these days I think it is more music and games but they are off the computer and away from the tv.
Bed time got adjusted as they got older and MJ still has to have lights out by 11pm on a school night. (he is nearly 17)
i had the same deal with my kids as the deal my parents had with me.
when our kids were in sixth grade they set their own bedtimes...
...as long as they set their own alarms and got them selves up for school.
i am amazed at how quickly they started to get a routine.
i can count the number of times on one hand i had to wake them up...
before 6th grade it was very rarely a fight...with the boy...
the girl, however... was a hard case, but wearing her outwith some exersize worked wonders...
Just a reflection of wonderful parenting...
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