Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Da' P[l]ain....Da' P[l]ain....

Here is your pic'. See why I don't post pics of myself now?
-It is the pain tadpoles.
-No energy left here.
-I can manage a few comments [on my tadpoles' blogs] a day - but mostly I sleep and try not move. It simply hurts too much and there is nothing I want them [the doctors] to do. I don't want to go into the hospital.
-I have a stack of notecards sitting here I have no energy to write, address or stamp.
-I have several blog posts I want to write but I can't. I am too tired and sucked out.
-Oh, hell....I would be happy to sweep the floor or peel potatoes for dinner.
-I would be thrilled to EAT dinner.

Sorry - I don't do feeling sorry for myself very well and I don't want to hear it. Okay?

I love you guys more than you know and I think of you often. I see the pretty weather outside and I can't get there. I lay in my bed and know....I want to thank you all for the pretty pics and the nice posts about Spring. It is nice. Thank you.

I am so tired and so in pain. I never thought life could be like this. And it hurts more that no one understands how awful this is. Everyone that lives here thinks "Mom will come back, no worries" even Pooldad. I understand the kids but not him.

The Lupus has crossed the threshhold and it ain't going back. And he knows it. The girls don't.

Hugs to y'all.

17 comments:

Jeannie said...

I can feel for you. My doc thought I might have fibro but it went away - not sure if it was less stress or more tanning or a combo or what but I'm thankful. An employee is trying to find out if she has lupus or fibro. She doesn't fit either completely. I knew a guy with lupus who managed to get it under control and get back into life again so don't give up hope. Smoke dope.

SkippyMom said...

Jeannie have her take an SLE test...it will either confirm or knock out Lupus.

They diagnosed mine to late to fix what had already gone wrong because they screwed around. Have your friend tested.

And I have never done an illegal drug in my life, ain't starting now and am hesitant to take what they want to prescribe to me as it is.

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

I'm so sorry that you are going through so much pain. I feel for you on this because it makes it so hard to function when you're in so much pain.

Chin up - you seem like you're a tough cookie and you'll get through this, too.

Life in the mom lane said...

AWWWW Skippy I figured there was a reason you were so quiet... I am sorry you are in so much pain and am adding you to my prayer list.Until you have experienced chronic pain you cannot understand how completely debilitating it is...there HAS to be SOMETHING they can give you that will help!Hold on- we're all pulling for you to get past this rough spot. *hugs*

Amy said...

OH Skippy, I am so sorry to hear how bad you are feeling. I was hoping the lack of posts was due to the electricity outages in the NE.

Hang in there. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Rudee said...

I'm sorry you're hurting so much. Do you have a palliative care doctor?

Medical marijuana isn't illegal everywhere, but neither is it a good pain medication. You need a pain specialist. See first paragraph.

SkippyMom said...

Amy, seriously...with two little guys you NEED TO BE IN BED...now shoo''''shoo'''

And Rudee - short of Oxycotine [sp] they have nothing left and I am not taking it. Pain sucks, it does, really bad...but not knowing where, how or what my kids/husband are sucks worse. Do I stick with the OTC or the midi levels. Which touch about nothing.

Guess that is why I say I am so bad at this.

I appreciate the advice and the help, but I have to do what is best for me. I would like to think that I don't bitch too much and y'all come back to read.

I am just tired and hurting.

purplegirl said...

I can't imagine what you're dealing with. I'm so sorry you're struggling, I wish I could help. :(

ikw said...

skippymom - i've been away from the blogosphere for so long i had no idea you were suffering! i am so sorry and wish that you could be pain free.
it is an amazing testament of your inner strength that your personality shines through in your blog posts, even though you are going through an incredibly rough time. my thoughts are with you.

Michaela said...

Babe yes I thought u were suspiciously quiet. I agree with Rudee, you do need a pain specialist. Its just NOT OK to have to suffer like that. You are a wonderful, good-natured and brave woman. I do know lupus, unfortunately. I hope things look up for you real soon honeybunch. xxxx

ellen abbott said...

So sorry to hear you are suffering. I, too, wondered why you were so quiet.

Marni said...

Oh honey... my heart aches for you. Please let me know if I can do anything.

Marni said...

Oh... and one more thing...

Get some other pain meds or take what is given to you. You do not deserve to be in this kind of pain. You do NOT need to suffer.

Do I need to come up there and kick your a$$? :)

Luv ya

Linda in New Mexico said...

Skippy Do Rah Day, I know you are not askin for our sympathies but damn girl. Sympathy means I am feeling for you. And I am. You are such a joy, a sunny person, a light to those of us who are bitch and moan artists because you are not. When you say you hurt, I not only believe, empathize and hurt for you....I am pained. I would try to say something in my native tongue of smart ass but it would be totally inappropriate and cheeky.
I love you girl, if I could take it from you I would, you don't deserve to be in such pain, no one does.
I also sympathize about taking the drugs, I hate to be out of it but my dear, I also know that getting relief even if briefly would give you some rest and maybe a little strength. I know you wouldn't be telling us if it were not hellacious...so sorry.
But as per your wishes, this is the last of the down time I will give you, I promise to try to bring a smile to your sweet face hence forth. XXOO (((hugs))) tenderly, until next time.
pssst...the vert word is not worth it

Linda and Denny/RV Vagabonds said...

1) Love the title--your humor still manages to shine through the pain.
2) You have happy hair! The red hair made me smile.
3) The best advice I ever heard from a doctor was to take pain medication because a body fighting pain had no resources left to try to heal itself. 'Nuff said.
4) I'm so, so incredibly sorry I can't be there to give you the world's biggest hug and a gentle massage.

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

Hey there Skip... Seriously, you don't need to apologize for indulging in a whine every now and then. You deserve it and no one will blame you for it. Lord knows I have my share of moments. I think there are all times when we feel like we might need a vacation from our lives. You might be there now. I know I am.

Thanks for popping over to visit my blog. Will talk to you later.

For now - you just whine all you want.

Word verification: berde
Here berde, berde, berde...

Khadra said...

wow, how rough :( Im sorry (and I cant say I care if you want sympathy or not, what can I say? Im a giver lol!) Seriously though, I hope you are able to gain some strength soon.

In the meantime, I think I will take a look around your blog...well not right this second...have to drag my boys out the door with me now, but you know what I mean :)