We Have Made a Decision

I just hope we can pull it off.

And, no. . .we are not robbing a bank.

We have decided to have a yard sale.  Perhaps, we're thinking, we can raise enough money to get somewhere out of this state for a few days.

Found this little gem today. My Dad's 1938 Erector Set

I don't do yard sales well. I know all the rules and how to price and blah, blah, blah - but the  few I have held for my parents sucked. Because the people suck. Can't wait to hear the comments on that statement.

I do love to go to yard sales and when I go I am always polite and respectful and if the price is reasonable I won't barter. I don't mind people bartering at my yard sale, but I am no good at it. I won't even ask.  I think it goes back to the one and only time I tried to get a lower price on our washer and dryer and the little woman shot me down like the Red Baron.

Some things I have found while running a yard sale:
- People are insulting, thinking they are going to get a lower price.  "Oh this old thing? I can get that for pennies new."  Honey, that is a Longaberger basket and no one can get that for pennies anywhere.
- People steal/shoplift.  This is probably what makes me the most likely to scream "Citizen's Arrest".  I have seen people pick up clothing, purses and hats, put them on and walk off towards their car. When we did catch up to them, in every single case, they pretended not to speak English, but did hand back the merchandise with a shrug. No real chance of this happening here, considering [the not speaking English part] but. . .
-People who pay in pennies.  They think if they are wasting your time you'll just stop them and let them go at $7.80, instead of the $10.50 they owe. Nope. I have all the time in the world and you just paid for a set of books with a 20 bill. You have change. But pennies spend. . .keep counting sweetie.
-People who try to pay by check. NO.
-Kids who aren't supervised and actually break the stuff for sale. I don't mind them trying out the stuff, but really kid?  Why are you touching a glass vase? Planning on buying flowers for your kindergarten teacher? Put it down. But heaven forbid you say anything to the little dumpling, 'cause Momma will come over and give you what for because you interrupted her important decision between a .50 Harry Potter DVD and a whisk. "Don't talk to my child." Why don't you? No works.  So up went a sign "You break, you buy. Price asked, no bartering."
-People who want to go in the house/people you find in your house.  I grew weary of this scenario during the first yard sale - "So what do you have in the house? Think I could have a look around?" NO. It's a YARD SALE, see the grass?  My brother and I roped the house off and posted signs that said there was nothing available in the house. Sigh.

What else have I forgotten erased from my memory?

There will be a lot of history and memories going, but that's okay because I am not so much attached to stuff as I am to my family - and no I am not selling anything the kids want to keep or belongs to them, this is specifically my stuff that just doesn't mean that much to me or I can't use anymore [sewing machine anyone? I have three! :D  ] and some larger furniture we can live without. How did I end up with three armoires? giggle  The things are hard to move. So, out go two of them. One is my Grandma's, that stays.

But if this is what I have to do to make this happen, then so be it.

And before anyone screams "Avoidance" to me - I remember specifically asking you not to question what we do with our children. Well, that took three days.  Anyhoodle - I know I have to tell them if we can't pull this off but I thought I was pretty clear that our older daughter is still at school - which leaves her younger sister home alone. What do you suggest, I call Emily at school and break the news on the phone? Or do I  tell Evelyn, here at home, who is incredibly close to her sister and let her suffer while we wait to pick up Em?

I am not a dink - I know they have to be told. But I am certainly not going to break a heart by phone. Or leave our littlest alone, knowing the news without the ability to share it with her sister.

If you had any idea how excited the family was the I was willing to risk a long car ride and a bed not my own, hours from my doctors and hospital - then I think you would better appreciate what THIS vacation means to them. To me.

And for those that emailed and mentioned that there will be other vacations?  Well, you seem to not understand why I stopped this blog in October or why when I came back I told ya' all that it wasn't good.  Sorry that you missed that, but I know, my husband knows and my kids know, this may well be our last one together.

They live in this house everyday with me. The rest of the world doesn't.

I realize I am pretty damn upbeat and happy in internetland, and for the most part I am. But, what would you prefer? I be Janinie Downer everyday?

You all know how much I appreciate and love you, but I guess I am just not clear enough. Am I?

Have a great Thursday. In the best way you know how.