Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Thank You As to Not Be Bedazzling My Behind

In yet another of my life's "you better laugh Skippy otherwise you'll cry" moments I find myself with a funny little problem.


Last week while walking the aisles of Walmart I felt my pants start to slip. I was wearing a woven belt so I stopped to tighten it a few holes over. I hoped that would keep them up.  Skippy luck being what it is, it took approximately three aisles [and a stretch to grab a glass serving dish] before I felt my pants fall completely down to my ankles. They were still buttoned, with the useless belt intact.  Thank goodness for empty aisles and a quick acting husband.  We decided right then to buy new pants, in a size that fit, to avoid this scenario again.  Since those pants were a size 4 [dug out of the donate pile] I thought a 2 or a 3 would work, depending on the cut.

Walmart, it appears, does not believe that 98 lb, size 2/3 women exist because in the misses/women's section everything began in the 7/8 range.  This wasn't a matter of being sold out or low stock. Everything started in medium sizes and went up.  Off to juniors we went.  There we found the sizes did exist but the selection was sparse and every single pair of jeans had something shiny, sparkly, attached or hanging off the posterior area.  I was desperate, but not that desperate. It is hard enough to have to go down to such a small size, but I refuse to look as though I am having a mid life identity crisis while simply trying to cover my legs.  Feeling a bit deflated, we went home and I put on my pajamas. Again.

A week later we decided to go to Kohl's and see if they would have anything. Not even bothering to look in the misses/women's section we headed straight for juniors'. I was relived to find they had a huge selection, including Levi's, in size 3. Woohoo!  The rhinestones were few.  It was looking promising.

Until I tried on the 3s and discovered they were too big.  How in the world is that even possible?  I started to tear up a bit. Bless Pooldad's heart he noticed the impending meltdown.  He whipped out of the changing room and was back with 1s, in the same brands and designs, in no time at all.  The man could put many women to shame with his shopping skills I'm telling you. :D  I put the 1s on and they fit perfectly, but that was when the waterworks truly started.  I thought I looked ridiculous, when I should've been thankful he had found me pants that fit.  Looking in the mirror I couldn't imagine the jean clad stick figure looking back was me.  Nary a curve or a rounded edge to be seen.  In fact, all I saw were hard edges and sharp angles.  I took them off and told Pooldad that I just couldn't do it.  I didn't want to spend the money on something that I felt so ugly wearing.  He was silent, understanding.  Without argument, he took the jeans and returned them to the shelf.

We went upstairs to find him a new pair of tennis shoes and while trying of a few pair Pooldad quietly commented to me that it was important that I had clothes that fit.  He assured me that one day I would gain weight and just think of the nice donation of the size 1s to our local clothing bank we could make.  He knows me too well and didn't push or demand, just gently prodded me until I stopped feeling sorry for myself and realized he was right.

We went back to the jeans and grabbed a couple of pairs to purchase.  Since this style is cut quite different from what  I am used to [think low, low rise - and btw, what exactly happened to zippers?  Three teeth do not a zipper make.] Pooldad suggested we splurge and pick up some cute tops and tanks to go with them.  I was worn out by the little shopping we had done so I asked him pick out what he liked.  He has great taste for me, knows what he likes and what colors look good on me.  Out of his choices I bought two sweaters [Stop laughing - you know me and my great sweater collection!  Besides these are light weight, crocheted type shruggy sweaters of which I had none. :D] a nice, light weight sweatshirt and three shelf tanks.  When the outfits are put together I almost feel like myself again. Score another one for my husband. Love you honey!

The best part tho' were the reactions of my kids.  When we went to pick up Squirrel from the bus depot the first thing she said [even before "Hi!"] was "Wow Mom! You look fantastic!"  Dad hadn't had time to give her a head's up about my worries, so I believe she was being genuine. It made me feel great.  The next morning Pooldad and I went to pick up the Porcupine from his parents' home.  She was shocked! First to see me knowing I wanted to put on more weight before I saw her grandparents, but more so because she couldn't believe I looked "stylish" and "hot".  Squee! [The poor kid thinks my wardrobe consists of pajamas and bathrobes.]  He father just looked at her and said "No, you may not borrow any of it." giggle  Even my beloved Mother In Law, who has spent the past 17 years cajoling me to eat more, said I looked wonderful.  It was all more than good enough for me.  :D

A bonus gift came the next day when my daughter went shopping with her boyfriend.  She came home with only one purchase - for me!  She said she thought they were perfect and exactly what I was looking for in jeans.  They are!  Plain, dark blue, straight leg, size 1 jeans.  For $17!! Squirrel and JCPennys for the win! Woot!

There ARE so many things in my life to be thankful for, I do realize that.  I am still not free of my health issues, but I am doing so much better than I was and it IS a gift that I am here.   I am coming to the realization that this just may be my new weight. I am trying to accept it, but as I said to Pooldad "Wouldn't it just suck having survived everything I was to die from being underweight?"  And yes, we did laugh. heehee

For what it is worth, I am eating. Constantly and a lot.  I just think with all the exercise and running around I have been doing I am burning off any extra calories I consume.  It's all good tho' - the family is spoiled and eating really well, while Spotty is very trim and fit with all her walks.

I found a wonderful recipe for carrot cake so I am off to grate some carrots. YUM!  Hope y'all have a great Tuesday and thanks so much for listening. :)


lyndylou said...

Isn't it funny the things that undo you when you are ill? It is never the things you think it will be. I totally get this post and I was crying with you when you described tearing up re your weight loss and feeling so ugly.

I went through this when I had cancer but it was the opposite problem as I had put on so much weight with the steroids.

You are so amazingly positive and I am so glad your kids reacted the way they did which proves we are our worst critics and never see ourselves as others see us.

To them and everyone who knows you, you will always be beautiful, inside and out. (((hugs))) my friend XXX

sapphireblue said...

How embarrassing!! Yikes! I think you would look great in pre-teen bedazzling.

colenic said...

I love you!! I love the fact that you post something so real....I am glad that you are feeling better...and I think you should find something bedazzled....hugs and lots of love to you!!

Marni said...

So happy for you.... hugs

Tracy said...

I'm so glad you are feeling better. This should be something to shout from the rooftops after the last few months.

And if you decide you want some bedazzling let me know. I'm an expert at doing it. My years as a Pom mom gave me lots of training. Oh and it is called "stoning" becauses bedazzling sounds cheap. Lol

Becca said...

*gentle hugs* My dear, sweet Skippy, you are beautiful no matter what size you are, whether there are fake gems stuck to your butt or not. I can understand how this upset you, but as lyndylou said... we are our worst critics. Yay on Squirrel for finding you the perfect jeans! Now... as for that carrot cake... now fast can you get some to Georgia? ;)

ellen abbott said...

I hate shopping for clothes. I wish I had a Pooldad. eat! eat! eat!

Jeannie said...

Clothes that fit are important - regardless of the number that identifies the size. They always look better when they fit right. I can't imagine being a size 1. I don't think it's even possible with my bone structure. Are you Asian?

Knitty said...

I am at the opposite end of the size range but I can sure identify with the agony of finding appropriate clothes.

So often my choices, especially in dresses, are frumpy with a capital F. Manufacturers must think it is ok to make a big sack and cut holes for a neck and arms and call it done.

Since so many teens and young women are bigger sizes these days, some stores do cater to young tastes in large sizes, but really, anyone over a certain size should not be wearing really short skirts, garments with more than 5% Lycra, and certainly not dazzle on rears, three dimensional rosettes perched on the bustline or many other features that really only flatter a few sizes, and then only if they are perfectly proportioned.

I have on old jeans today that fit, meaning they aren't falling off, but they are standard, heavy weight denim. I bought two pairs of light weight, lesser known (unknown to me) brands in the same size, but my goodness, they look so much better on me. So yes, fit does matter.

There must be many in both of our sizes who complain about the same things. We need to band together and find affordable clothing, but first we all have to find something decent to wear out of the house! ;-)

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

Look on the bright side. Now, all your sweetness is compressed into a smaller package, so you have lots more sweetness per square inch than the rest of us. Concentrated Skippy! And you really will put that weight back on eventually. Honest. (Took me about 12 years to get some meat back on my bones again, and now I can't get it to STOP!)

Patty said...

Bravo on not stooping to the Bedazzaled Sequined Juicy world of women going through mid-life/identity crisis!
Stick to your Sweaters!
Go Skippy!

Eva Ason said...

How embarrassing :( Glad you found new jeans though. I admire your positivity in all this! Have a lovely week my friend! Big hugs to you!


Thisisme. said...

Skippy, my dear friend, that was a long post, but your positivity and sense of humour always shine through, and I so admire you for that. How wonderful that your beautiful daughters thought you looked so good, and Pooldad really came up trumps again, didn't he. Bless that man. I shall be running away with him very soon! Hee Hee!! I'm sure the weight will gradually go back on again, but I'm so pleased that you now have all your new clothes and I'm sure you look beautiful, and I'm not just saying that. We all love you for your wonderful attitude in dealing with everything that is thrown at you. Big hugs coming your way x

becca said...

well at least you didn't pass out in Walmart like i did seem you and me plus Walmart make for fun stories as is our life. HUGS

Juli said...

So there's lots to be grateful for. First the family. Second, that the people of Walmart cameras weren't on you. And third, that bedazzling went out in the early 90s.

Now if I could only get them to stop selling jeans with holes already in them....

mybizzykitchen.com said...

OMG, I just had the visual of you walking down the aisle, reaching for said glass vase and then seeing your undies!

I would like a full photo please of how wonderful you looked in your new clothes!

Love ya!

Sally said...

Shopping for clothes can be incredibly frustrating, even when we are in the best of moods and feeling our best. Even though it took a lot of you, I'm glad to hear you found some clothes that won't put you in the photos of "seen at Walmart" :-) I haven't purchased new jeans in a year, in part due to the fact that I want unadorned jeans...I don't need that sparkly stitching on my bottom and all the other crud that comes along with it.

That's so sweet that Squirrel was able to find you a pair of jeans just like you wanted, too.

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

put that glitter right on your a$$! you deserve it! lol - if i'd been through all that you'd been through, i'd be bedazzled from one end to the other. hehehe!

you have a great outlook. i do understand the feeling about hating the way you look in clothes, but it's the opposite for me. i waffle back and forth about how i feel about myself. mostly not good. having to buy new clothes for my new job was fun in a sense, but not fun in another. i hated to buy the size i did, but i know that i'm working to change that size. like you, i'll have a great donation to charity as i change sizes.