Pooldad and I went to my oncologist/hematologist on Wednesday and without going into great detail the news is not good. In fact, it is so "not good" that I have had a hard time trying to even find the words to tell my family and my friends. We have only told Pooldad's bosses and his parents.
I don't really have the strength to do much more than leave comments for y'all [trying to stay upbeat when I do] and post about mundane stuff like Wallene's lunch. I hope you can forgive my vagueness. It really is the best I can do right now.
But, just to give you proof that we are trying to stay upbeat, I will tell you a short story of what happened after we came home from the doctor's with the news.
I took a dose of pain meds early in the evening and was just hangin' out with Pooldad when I suddenly had that familiar nauseous feeling. I excused myself to run to the powder room in time to begin my ritual dry heaving. The meds work great and I am getting amazing abs from throwing up nothing [I am not kidding about the ab thing either, not that I suggest anyone try this], but. . .really? I try not to take the meds because they do make me throw up. I often go 4, 5, 6 days without having to take them but sometimes the pain is too intense. I just have to weigh if it is worth throwing up a few times a night to get some relief.
Part way through I thought I would call Pooldad to come in with me. I needed him to rub my back, which was cramping. It is the only time I will let anyone near me when I am sick because who needs company at a time like that? [Hint: Not me!]
As he approached the bathroom he asked "So, what are we doing?"
I smiled and said "Come on in here honey. We'll practice for chemotherapy together."
I don't think he was expecting quite that response [considering I had been crying all afternoon], but we both fell out laughing. Hard.
Maybe you had to be there or maybe you have been through this and understand. . .
He turned me around, folded me up in his arms, and whispered in my ear "And that is why I love you so much sweetheart."
Take care Tadpoles. We'll see ya' on flipside, I am sure of it.