Sunday, May 20, 2012

What Not To Wear

Your headphones.

While on your computer.

After ingesting a healthy dose of medication.

A medication that is guaranteed to cause nausea.

Because when the urgency to projectile vomit presents itself you will not be able to remove those puppies fast enough to avoid a small disaster.

Ask me how I know this.
Go ahead.  Ask. giggle

And you guys wonder where I have been?

In answer to all your kind queries and emails we are here, going through the motions, getting through our days as best we can.  I thank you all so much for keeping in touch. It is so nice to know I have you, my Tadpole friends.

I am sorry that I haven't felt up to responding or posting.   It has just become harder and harder to muster up enthusiasm for much of anything these days. It seems as tho' we are on the hamster wheel of health care in this country.  I am not complaining - I am thrilled I have doctors that want to treat me. Isn't insurance a wonderful thing? :sarcasm drip: - but we are growing weary of the specialists, the extra special specialists and the super dooper specialists. Oh, and let us not forget the "God's gift" of specialists.  Seems when you see one doctor you are referred to two more doctors who, in turn, refer you to even more doctors.  During all of this appointment making [or should I say "attempting to make"?], the researching, the running around and the waiting [my god, the waiting!] we find that the important questions are not being answered. Or we are given vague responses and then passed along to the next doctor.  It is frustrating to feel myself sliding backwards instead of feeling like I am moving forward.  It is scaring me. And if it isn't enough that we are challenged by the sheer number of oncologists, not to mention the upcoming transplant contingency, we have to ask, couldn't they all be located in relatively the same area?  I am not even asking for them to be in the same hospital or even the same city [they aren't] but is it really too much to have them in the same state?  Seriously.  I honestly think Maryland will be joining the queue soon.

Jeesh. I'm tired just writing all of that out. And I know it begins all again come Monday.

So that, my friends, is it in a nutshell. There are many bright sides, I assure you and I do say thank you many, many times throughout the day because I do have so much.  I know this. Still, it doesn't mitigate the fact that life IS a struggle right now and I wonder if I have enough strength for this fight.

I truly hope you all have a wonderful week.  Enjoy yourselves and keep up the shenanigans. I had a fun time catching up and can't wait to read more.

See you on the flipside Tadpoles. :)


24 comments:

Gypsy said...

I've been a little worried about you and just this morning slapped my forehead and thought, "read her blog". I sure sympathize with you about the proliferation of specialists that enter our lives with just one visit to a doctor, for any reason. I'm thinking about you and hope you feel better soon.

Mystic Mud said...

I can't imagine what you are going through, but I hear the strength that it requires and I admire that you have it. I feel like anything I say will sound trite. Just know that I think of you often, and I wait for your updates....and you are an awesome and strong woman. Many hugs.

xo~ michele

sapphireblue said...

Hugs to you! Just keep in touch when you can.

Shelly said...

Praying good things for you, Skippy~

Greenmare said...

hang in there sweet one, hang in and on and over. we are all pulling for you!!!!

ellen abbott said...

transplant?

just do your best sweetie. and if you can't even do that, well, that's OK. you don't always have to be optimistic and looking on the bright side. we will love you anyway.

Tombstone Livestock said...

keep a plastic bag handy with some shredded or torn up newspaper in it handy, sit back relax with your headphones on while you are on the computer.

As someone that suffered from migraine headaches for years, I kept a paper bag nearby bed with several layers of newspaper in the bottom then torn paper on top, saved me from having to get up constantly. Then just tossed in the garbage and got a new bag as needed.

Hang in there, glad to see you have a sense of humor with all this, take care.

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

Sooooo good to hear from you again. Sorry to hear life is feeling like an uphill marathon right now, but you DO have the strength. You do. If we could, every single person who knows you would happily transplant some of our own strength to you. One day at a time, sweetie.

Rudee said...

Love to you, Skippy.

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

thought we were going to have to call in the national guard to hunt you down! i've been checking to see if you had posted and was really glad to see this one. glad to see your sense of humor is still working. i know it has to be tough to keep on keeping on.

take care.

Jeannie said...

Try to keep going because as long as there is yet another doctor who might know what he is doing, there is hope that they can really help you.

I realize after dealing with various things over the years that doctors really don't know everything - especially as they get more specialized! They know one little area. And so many things fall through the cracks that there are no doctors that have seen a bigger picture than through their particular view finder and so they send you on. Way back, they had to fly in a doctor from Chicago to operate on my husband because no one here knew how to get at his heart through the groin rather than an arm - and his arm was so muscled, they couldn't get through.

So, as exhausting as it may be, hold on while they find the right guy to help you best.

later, babe.

Julie said...

Just keep breathing.
And it sucks that you are being referred on to other docs at a time when you want to conserve your strength and sanity.
Furthest we've ever had to go is London to GOSH.

lyndylou said...

Dear dear Skippy, you don't have to wonder if you have enough strength because you have had heaps up til now and your indomitable spirit will just keep carrying you through. Life is and can be a bitch and it seems to kick us most when we are down but you will get back up and kick it's butt after a good rest.

Thinking of you, keep smiling xxx

Mama Bean said...

Hi Skippy, I am saddened by your recent health roller coaster :( I pray for strength and peace for you and your family. You have such beautiful positivity, it is inspiring :) <3

Juli said...

I was wondering how you were doing. Maybe they could make a plastic protector for your key board.... we could decorate it with stickers... make it pink. :)

Juli said...

OH... and you don't have capcha on your blog. So whatever you're doing to avoid spam it's working, and without the annoying word verification. But for the record, I would still come back even if you did have it. :)

Marni said...

I wish I could be up there to help out. I know it is frustrating... just know we are thinking of you and sending vibes to the docs to do the right things.

Happy to see you are posting; I was worried about ya, but didn't want to bombard you with emails.

Hugs to you and everyone up there.

life in the mom lane said...

Duke Mom #2...
I found these and thought of you...

"Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will."
~ Dr. Robert Anthony

"When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on."
~ Thomas Jefferson

"If you are going through hell, keep going."
~ Winston Churchill

I think we all agree... You DO have the strength to do this...KNOW this and it will get you through all of the crap that is neccesary to get well. You have a large and vocal cheering section in the blogosphere!
Love and prayers to you my friend!
~Barb

colenic said...

Hugs and lots of love to you...
Hang in there...there will come one dr that you will feel completely comfortable with...he/she will become a life line...it just takes a bunch of them first for you to get there :)
You have the strength even when you don't think you do...and if you don't think you have it...I know that wonderful husband of yours will hold you up...
Love you...

Knitty said...

I wish I could send you tangible strength and hugs. Until Blogger figures out a way to offer that option, I hope you know all your devoted tadpoles hold you in our hearts and prayers.

Tony Van Helsing said...

It's not been the same on here without you Skippy.

Thisisme. said...

Dear, dear Skippy - Please, PLEASE, hang on in there my friend. Life is a bitch sometimes. Life is just not fair sometimes, and it makes me so sad that you are going through all this. I will keep holding you in my prayers, and pray that the miracle WILL happen. We all love you and are all willing you on. Sending huge hugs, love & positive healing thoughts across the Pond to you my dear friend xx

Yum Yucky said...

We love you, Skippy. All of us. Please draw strength and comfort from knowing you are loved.

Becca said...

I loves you, big sis. You got the stones to get through this, and the support system. You have my email; I'm always here for you. Do what you need to do for YOU. *gentle hugs*