When you discover, by accident, that your daughter shared this with a friend:
"My Mom is dying from congestive heart failure and liver disease. I don't know how I will live without her."
I know the kids know. I know.
But what do you say? How do you assuage their fear?
Sometimes I mitigate my illnesses by reminding myself that the older kids are established. Own homes, are engaged, working their careers. . .
And then I look at Evie Lou and remember. She hasn't been given the same amount of time with me, and she is truly scared.
I forget that Evie is only [soon to be] 17 years old, because y'all know she is my partner in crime, my foil, my best friend and I can't get outside of these four walls most days.
I have never wanted one of my kids to be a *friend*. I am the mom. They are the kid. Friends come later. When they are growing up it is parent and kid. There's a difference.
I like that. It has worked well....but Evie?
I don't want to leave anyone. I think of them, each, individually. It breaks my heart to know I am letting down all the kids and Steven.
But I especially don't want to leave my ViVaLyn alone without me.
The words she wrote to her friend scared me more than anything I have ever experienced in my entire life.
And? What do I say?