Observations While Shopping

Retailers -

When the cash register freezes during my transaction last week, it's a fluke and all I need is apology and for my credit card to be charged ONCE.
When the cash register freezes again during my transaction this week it tells me you need to update your equipment and I want more than an apology to ever shop in your store again.  I like your store, but I do not have time for it to be fixed twice and for you to refund my credit card twice.  It takes a few days for the credit to appear in my account.  You have over 10 cash registers in your store. These were just two of them.
Sorry, but we won't be back Sears.

Tell your sales associates that the proper greeting is "Hello" or "Hello, how are you today?" or even "Hello, did you find everything okay?" NOT snatching my purchases out of my hands, ringing them up and pointing at the screen for the total.  Don't allow them to say "This is NOT returnable. Do  you understand this isn't returnable? Because it's not." and not say anything else.  Also, they don't have to wish me a nice day, but a simple "Thank you" would be appropriate.  Our purchases are what keeps the doors open, right?  I am so tired of going through the entire checkout process without the employee ever uttering a word to me.

I do not speak Pashto, Farsi, Chinese, Vietnamese or Spanish.  When I ask a question in English I shouldn't need another employee to translate. I need the answer in English. I would hope that the first requirement of any applicant would be fluency in English.  Notice I said "fluency" - not "proficiency", not "a passing understanding and an ability to nod their head or shrug" - FLUENCY.  Everyone should be able to work if they want to, but they must  have the skills necessary to do the job.  When the signage, literature and receipts are all written in English your associates must be able to speak it to work there.

If I am standing there, ready to buy your goods and services I will walk out the minute your associate takes a personal phone call/text. If he/she answers the store phone and instead of putting them on hold/transferring the call proceeds to try to assist the person on the phone.  I understand they are required to answer the store phone, but  I am standing, right there, cash in hand, ready to buy.  I am a real customer.  Their friends/babysitter/Mom/boyfriend or the person who may/may not buy from you are not as valuable to your business right that moment as I am.

Mothers -
Mothering 101 - True fact - Mothers can differentiate their child's cries.  There are six types of crying: Tired, Hungry, Dirty Diaper, Pain, Fear and Brat.

For example:
Your shopping is not as important as the well being of your baby, toddler or young child.
If your child cries because he is hungry you have three options.  1. Take him home and feed him, 2. Feed him a bottle 3. Breast feed him. Make any of these happen before you try on your 8th pair of jeggings.  I can promise you he will stop crying.  I can't be so sure the jeggings are going to be so happy.

If your child cries because she is tired?  Take her home for a nap. There is no second option. Remove her from the mall and take her home.  The mall is no place for a baby to get a good nap and you can find a new hat with matching purse for Aunt Bitsy's 85th birthday another day.  But your child needs a nap. In the car or at home. Now.

And if your child is purposefully crying because he doesn't want to be in the mall, [And you all know this cry Waaaaah [pause 1,2,,3] Waaaaah  [pause 1,2,3] Waaaah [pause 1,2,3] TAKE HIM HOME.  He is not going to stop crying until he gets his way.  You have taught spoiled him and he knows that the higher the decibel level the better chance he will get what he wants..  He will pass out from the effort before he gives up getting out of the mall.  The dressing room in JCPennys is NOT the time to begin being a parent and start enforcing rules.  Saying soothingly "No, no Timmy. No, no."  doesn't cut it. Trust me.  We could hear it not working.  Just because you are behind a closed dressing room door the 7 women in line can still hear you telling him no over his screeching and I can assure you they ARE whispering about you.  I can hear them through my door.  When one of the waiting husbands whispered "screaming lil' f*cker" under his breath all the other mothers giggled.  No, none of us has been there before and no we didn't feel your pain. Do you know why?  We either shopped without our children or removed them before they got to that stage. We took them home.  Sometimes other people's quality of life does take precedence over  lil' Timmy's right to exercise his lungs and our patience. Got it?

Helicopter parent:
When the cute teenage girl puts her arms around her boyfriend's waist and kisses him on the cheek it does not give you the right to turn around and say, sternly, "Enough with the PDA you two.  There are young children present."  First off - your son is 8 or 9 years old. He can certainly handle an innocent kiss between teenagers.  Secondly - you embarrassed your son.  I hope you aren't his room Mom at school too. Or did they ban you in 1st grade?  Finally - did you really think for one second I wasn't going to put my arms around my husband and give him a kiss on the cheek too?  I have no idea who crushed your spirit along the way lady, but over parenting isn't going to bring it back.  And you are darn lucky the only thing you gave me was a dirty look.  Good for you for keeping your mouth closed.  The teenagers high fived me on the way out btw. :D

Parenting fail:
When your child skips happily along with another Mom, Dad and their three daughters right out of JCPenny's, making it half way down the mall is NOT the time to notice he is gone.  It is also NOT the time to scream at the poor little guy for wandering off.  You're scaring him. He is 2, maybe 3 years old.  He cannot quite grasp the concept of strangers yet, especially when other little kids are around.  He did nothing wrong. He just thought he had made new friends and they were having fun.  Kids do that.  Instead, someone should have been yelling at you to watch your own kid and not lose track of him while in housewares.  SHOPPING IS NOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR CHILD.  If this kid, heaven forbid, had gone missing we would have seen a tearful Mother on TV last night saying "But I only turned my back for a second and he was gone."  It was a lot longer than that before she noticed he was missing and all because she was so engrossed in shopping. Sigh. And people wonder why....

These all occurred in one day [except for my first purchase at Sears a week ago], at 3 stores.  I had $400 to spend on new clothes and shoes.  The new summer wardrobe I bought isn't going to cut it with the cold weather moving in so I really need an all new [to me] winter fall/winter wardrobe. [It's a fun problem to have. I know. :D]

I spent $105.63.  I got some great deals for Pooldad [1 polo shirt, 1 dress short sleeved shirt, 1 long sleeved dress shirt, 1 argyle sweater, 1 pair of khakis and 4 pair of shorts - $95.45. YAY!] and a black blazer, fully lined, for $10.18. It was 80% off.  It will be a great Christmas present for Squirrel. Double YAY!

I still have $294.37 without one new thing in my closet.  I wasn't even looking for bargains. I was ::gasp:: willing to pay full price just to have something to wear.  I even considered shopping online but I can't be sure of what size I am without trying on the clothes.  I suppose this means I will have to brave the stores again. Sigh.

Will someone please go shopping for me?  I promise to throw in "hazardous duty" pay if you like.  Ear plugs included. ::wink::

Have a great week Tadpoles.  We'll see you on the flipside. . . if I survive the shops. heehee