Time Is On My Side And I Have You All to Thank

While being held hostage to be discharged from the hospital today [see previous post] Pooldad and I decided to go shopping at their spectacular [and I do mean SPECTACULAR] Gift Shop. The trinkets and baubles within are not only lovely but they were so well priced - it was a lot of fun. I am seriously doing a lot of my Christmas shopping there. Good cause and all!

I saw this watch [picture below] but, as a rule I don't wear watches because I have very small wrists and unless I spend a lot time/money and have a watch fit well to my wrist they are unweildly and uncomfortable. So I rarely come across something as beautiful and unique that fits for under $20!

I decided to buy it, but it wasn't the fit issue it was for a better reason. I had a real reason and it has to do with you, my friends, my tadpoles, my confidants. You are the people that support me, give me hope and you prayed for me. Didn't you? I know you did - and that is what I find so wonderful about this simple and pure concept is all of your prayers. I was talking to Pooldad on the way home about it and I realized how different all of you are - these weren't simply Christian prayers [y'know the ones?-the ones I am used to being "that" Catholic in the bunch of us!] No, I had the whole plethora of prayer coming my way - Christian, Pagan, Wiccan, Earth Mother or Simply Your Beliefs and your good thoughts - they all came my way when I needed it the most and YOU ALL BOUGHT ME TIME. I know you can't realize what I have been through in the past 10 days, being in the hospital, but I was a very sick woman by April 21st when Pooldad called the ambulance because I could no longer breath. Only one of you knows when I got to the hospital everything they had to do to save my life. But you all, my friends, never doubted me - you always believed and all of your wonderful prayers saved me.

Sound maudalin don't I? Well tough because for the first time in ages [years?] I realized that outside of my simple family [Pooldad, Squirrel, Porcupine and my ILs] there are other people out there that do think of me, do love me and have my well being in their thoughts too.

I don't know what I can ever do to repay any of you in kind except some of those Catholic prayers I seem to like so much and I think are working too, :D but you all know that if there is anything else that within my capabilities to help you thrive as you make me do everyday then I would do it. Please don't hesitate to ask.

There is a certain calmness to this realization and as I said - I have y'all to thank. I love you all.

The watch:

Now to lighten this up just a bit: This is NOT the way to try to start an I.V. on Skippy when she is asleep via a large dose of Dialuad. Understood? Because she will wake up and try to beat you violently with the line. Good? Good. This sucker is going to take 6 months to heal.
And this is how bored I became on my "Skippy's Excellent 10 Day Hospital Stay". I started exfoliating, putting on wrinkle cream [don't laugh at me ladies this stuff WORKS and besides you have to believe me I BELIEVED you about that stupid colonoscopy stuff :D] and I started wearing makeup again - Do you know how long it has been since I wore make up? Eons - but I think I was so happy to be alive and almost pain free [compared to previous months] I wanted to be pretty. And I know that make up doesn't make the woman but it sure was nice to hear my 17 whisper to her Dad "Boy, Mom sure looks like her ol' self again, doesn't she? She is so pretty." Same kid that tried to hide me in the house for weeks on end because I was so sick and icky. :D WIN!
I meant what I said and I will say it again, because it is my belief that you don't always have the time to tell the ones you love just how much you do love and care about them until it is too late. I love you all, very much and I am happy April 21st wasn't my last day to let you know, because I wouldn't have been able to tell you.

Let Her Eat Protein! Or Why Some Medical Personel are Useless

Remember I drank one gallon of nasty junk in order to have a colonoscopy. My orders were to finish by 12 am Friday morning with the drink ["GoLightly" - yeah, right] and then take nothing by mouth until the 'oscopies later that morning.

Imagine my surprise when they scheduled the 'oscopies for 1 pm. 13 hours after I stopped eating [not so hard] and drinking - even water! - that is hard. My lips were splitting all over. Ouch.

So 1 pm comes and goes and I give up and start dozing in my bed, in my room. Transport shows up at 1:20 pm and wheels me down to surgery whereby I am duly introduced to not ONE but TWO anestesia people and asked if I had any questions and I did, and blah, blah, blah....' Get them answered and are told we are next just wait a minute or two.

Good to go! Or so we thought - seems I was actually scheduled for TWO FORTY FIVE instead so I was in surgery [freezing my ass off] for an hour and twenty five minutes while my stomach rumbled and my mouth bled. And my voice diminished from lack of liquids [the techs were glad of this little side effect, believe me]

Also instead of my original "Anesty"* people I was introduced to two news ones - and the one guy was such a pompous asshole I told him to shut up. Seriously - he began his dissertation to me with "I gave my very first anesty job in 1972 at 3:45 to an elderly man about to undergo"....SHUT UP! Believe me I was within my rights. [The only thing the guy confirmed with me at that point was he did his first job with anestesia when I was SIX years old and he probably needed to be retired already. But hey, thanks for the boost of geriatric confidence.

He did make up a bit with me by the drugs he was handing out - well now - he got so fed up with me he juiced a nice ol' shot of something in my IV and I started to chatter about - well, god knows what but at least I wasn't telling Opie to shut up anymore [he got his desired effect- let's just say.]

Next thing I know [and tadpoles we have to have a big 'ol discussion about what constitutes a nice way to wake up from a colonoscopy as so many of you remarked on] Anyway, the next thing I know I am being manhandled, flipped, pushed, shoved and poked into the next week. I was literally screaming Pooldad's name and the doctor [who is REALLY the one on my "Do not pass GO/GO directly to hell" list right now] told me that I could not have my husband in there since we would be discussing my medical condition and that other people in recovery could possibly hear and that would break HIPPA regulations. I told him that I didn't want Pooldad there to discuss anything I wanted him there for comfort [and at this point protection!] and to get him now please.

The doctor had the audacity to tell me that he was going out into the waiting room and tell Pooldad all about the procedures BEFORE talking to me and that Pooldad would know first. Well, no, no, no and a great big RESOUNDING NO! Pooldad and I have a deal where we hear all news such as this TOGETHER and at the SAME TIME - one doesn't get the info on the other first/or on themselves for that matter in the off chance it is something awful like Cancer or Hepatitis etc. Because then that person that was first [in this case Pooldad about ME] would have to sit through ME hearing it and he already would've known. Who wants that burden.

I told the doctor if he went near my husband before I was holding his hand to get the news together he was breaking my HIPPA rights and I would report him. And yes - I am reporting him tomorrow because he did exactly what I asked him NOT to. He told Pooldad without me there.

Okay, not a big deal to any of you - but in my wheel house it is HUGE and goes against everything I believe in and just makes that jerk doctor even more of an arrogant mess than he already was.

I was so pissed off at the lies, the later surgery appointment, the freaking manhandling that when I was returned to my room [lying in my own messes and stuff, yuck] I removed my own hospital gown, changed my sheets and put on warm street clothing because I was going to eat a TUNA FISH SANDWICH in peace and comfort. Doctors and rules be damned - I am rebel Skippy.

The sandwich had a lot of signigfigance in that I had been on a restricted menu since I had been admitted - first it was soft foods with no discernable taste, but I managed to choke it down because did I mention they were denying me liquids all week in an attempt to lower my fluid retention? Yeah - so for dinner I would get a ground up spicy asian meat dish over egg noodles with green beans [who can screw up fresh cut green beans? Obviously LIH!] with NO liquid. I don't know about you but I can't eat a meal without a beverage even if it is water. I haven't seen milk in so long I am starting to dream about Jersey cows.

Oh but he it got better because I had to drink the "Golightly" crap and then not eat or drink for 16 hours afterward. Niccccccccce. But as in all things Skippyland there was one final cut down of this insane story - after defying them and eating the sandwich the nice Dr. who is handling just about everything else [when anyone cares to tell her anything] told me I HAD to eat protein to keep my blood levels up and that I would no longer be on an all liquid diet that had started with the "Golightly" stage. Well color me pink and slap me stupid because the words were barely out of her mouth when dinner arrived - chicken broth, two orange juices, black jell-o and some parfait jell-0y thing that scared me -even the kids wouldn't touch it.

I calmly asked Pooldad to get a wheelchair [the hospital owns, maybe 7 wheelchairs? They are a hot commodity. It is pretty comical, but I digress] and I waved goodbye to my nice Dr. M and the whole family headed to..........

MCDONALD'S - where I proceeded to eat 1/2 an incorrectly made QP with cheese, plain, no bun, about 15 french fries and a chocolate milkshake. THANK.YOU.VERY.MUCH.

See, the point is how are we going to know if I eat protein [or even close to normal - you guys know how I eat/am fed by the family] it is going to keep my blood counts up and my swelling down? WE DON'T because the bozos wouldn't let me have normal menu food.

This is the story [that seems] to never end because here I sit without an IV, dress and ready to be discharged but I can't be discharged until they are sure I will eat lunch.

There is only one small problem. They won't give me anything to eat. They will happily serve me up anything I can slurp, slosh, lovingly slid over my gums in liquid form - but NOTHING solid.

Somehow I am in Hell and they aren't letting me in on the joke.

*Anesty - I get tired of typing the damn word. Hope this all made sense. I just want to go home. Sigh.

To Be Or Not to Be A Colonoscopy ... That is the Question!

Hi dere Mamas. We mist youse. And the kids rearranged da' funuture.

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No really - the ACTUAL question is have you ever seen BLACK jell-o before?
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Yeah, I don't think I have either - but it was an awesome Jedi Food mind trick for the whole 45 seconds it lasted this afternoon at lunch. Heehee!
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Okay, okay this does all tie together - as usual - even if I wasn't taking 25 mg. of Dialud. :D But every little bit helps and it is all kinds of fun!
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As of Noon I have been put on a clear liquid diet until I finish drinking a gallon of something called "Go lightly". [As in "Holly Go Lightly" - Audrey Hepburn? or as in pee clear?] This is my first colonscopy so please let's learn together, shall we?
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Oh, the black jell-o - first impression was this was gross! They serve all our "clear liquids" in these little black containers and when I first leaned over to survey what nasty flavor of jell-o I thought I had I could only see big black chunks - ick - which evidently apple flavored [yellow tinted] jell-o appears to be black because of the black bowl. My first thought? You know it - have any of the tadpoles ever seen black jell-o and really WHAT flavor might it be? I couldn't wait to post and ask - surely y'all knew about the black jell-o phenomenom.
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How disappointing to find out it is [just] yellow and apple juice flavor. Yuck. I promptly ate a two piece cracker pack [bad Skippy, bad] and NOW I have to suck down this nasty water.
And the topper will be the colonoscopy tomorrow! Woohoo!
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Well hopefully this will give more stuff to write about although I can honestly say I don't think the procedure tomorrow is quite going to have the punch line I am thinking of :D.

Decifering the Doctors

I love the hospital I am in [inasmuch as you can love a hospital]. I especially love the team of Doctors that are taking care of me, not to mention the shift nurses and their CNAs. I feel very well taken of with just one teensy, little exception.

Every Doctor thinks another Doctor has updated with me regarding tests, biopsies, the pneumonia [who knew I even HAD pneumonia O-o!!] etc. It is almost comically cute if it didn't get so frustrating. Pneumonia? Helllllo!

Now Pooldad and I are tasked with just how much longer I will be in the hospital. Near as we can tell we are guessing about another week and a half. I still have a few more tests to be run and although I am really close to all the swelling going away [ouch!] in my legs hopefully that will be sooner than later.

I don't know how much sense any of this made, but when I am more awake tomorrow I will tell you all about the food and some of the funnier Nurses.

Narrowing it Down Nicely

The Good News? Okay: I don't have renal failure and my liver looks lovely. My thyroid is a site to behold and my white blood counts are perfectly on tonic.

The Bad News: Here I sit at 5:50 am in the hosspeetal where they have come to the conclusion that I have Congestive Heart Failure [CHF] AND [hey you didn't think my body was going to be dull did you? I scoff at you ;D] AND, AND [it's a big AND tadpoles.....]

I am having a biopsy done under anestathia for Cancer. And I hit the trifecta too - Colon or Breast or gynecollogical! How's dems' apples.? Or should I say how's dems Canzars? LOL

On a funnier side - I had Dialud [sp?] a painkiller for the first time last night. WEEHAW -mixed with the Ativan I was dozing asleep mid sentence and then waking up, forgetting where I was and thinking I was holding "court" with Royalty - and people wonder why I don't take prescription meds? Hehee [Hardest part was they gave it to me around 3 pm and it wore off around 10 pm - Now I am awake, awake.

I am currently on my sixth pint of blood [in one day] for a blood transfusion and let me just say - this stuff is high octane. I have so much more strength and color. People have been commenting - which makes me feel good.

So far we have only told the kids and my mil. The Porcupine is handling it well, the Squirrel is playing a keen game of avoidance [as to be expected] and I think I worried my poor mother in law into 2011 because I am going to be fine. Right?

ConnieMom - Don't you worry. I am going to be fine. I am going to be just fine.

Can You PLEASE Stop Doing That?

Every year, without fail - I swear, every single year, in the spring, our landscaping company manages to CUT our cable line. Well, not just myour cable line - but the phone line and the internet line that run into our home.

Every year it is reburied. Every year they manage to hit it. And you know it wouldn't be so bad if someone, either Comcast or the landscape company, would fix the dang thing in a timely fashion AND rebury it correctly - but nooooooooo! We ultimately sit and wait while they argue over who's responsibility it is.

Now I can live without TV all day, week, month long. I can even forgo my own internet line as I have a very gracious neighbor that shares when things like this happen - but I refuse to go without a telephone line; not because I love to talk on the phone [I don't really***] but I am confined to this house/my bed 24/7 and if I fall or something happens I need the phone. And tadpoles Comcast just isn't getting THAT little bit of information through their thick skulls.

We were told to purchase a cellphone for me to use while they resolve this problem. Buwha?!?! I pay Comcast good money to provide me with phone service and now I have to spend additional money so I can have an additional phone [I will never need again] while they straighten this out?
I do not think so.

I should've known they were going to annoy me anyway. When we called yesterday to tell them the cord had been cut by the landscapers they set up an appointment for between 8 am and evening [wide gap, eh?] so Pooldad had to wait until they showed up [thus missing work] and when the idiot repairman arrived he checked all the connections INSIDE the house, informed us it was an OUTSIDE problem [um, DUH?] and we had to call Comcast back and reschedule. Again - Buwah?

So we are entering our third day without cable, internet and phone and they should be out at their convenience. BAH! Unfortunately our only other choice is Verizon and they are even worse than Comcast.

On a better note - it did rain all day on Tuesday and since it was so warm and cozy inside [and quiet!] I slept from 8:30 am until 4:30 pm with only periodic awakenings to toddle off to the bathroom [I drink a LOT of water :D] It was bliss. It actually works out kind of nice because if I sleep all day I am awake when the kids are home until bedtime and then I stay up all night on the 'net [and right now I am watching Harry Potter] and be awake for their breakfast and off to school in the morning before I go back to bed. Bonus.

Who says I can't find a silver lining? :D

***The exceptions to this are NMM, Georgia Peach and Pooldad

No News

....is not necessarily good news in Skippy's case.

I want to thank all of you for your emails, texts, comments and phonecalls inquiring to my whereabouts.

Right now I am still among the living [see me type? :D] but feel more dead than alive. Due to some extreme complications I only have use of my right arm and I haven't felt up to posting, but thought I better put something up before one of y'all actually shows up at the hospital [or our home].

I didn't start this blog to chronicle my health [and the ensuing problems] and I am not going to start now but please understand that I have gone from bad [diagnosis] to worse [symptoms/flares] to the "You're joking, right? stage [heavy complications]. We didn't see any of this coming on so swiftly - but I suppose it is the nature of the disease that no one really knows what exactly is going to happen next.

I do read all your blogs - they make me happy - but simply do not have the strength or thought process to comment - but know I am there in spirit.

When [if?] I start to feel better I will begin posting again, but it will be the happy stuff [which, despite my health problems we still have happening - it's all good!]. Okay?

Okay! I am worn out now - but thanks again for checking in and I will, hopefully, talk to y'all soon.

Love, Skippy

Important PS: To those of you that I have called on my husband's cellphone [area code 703] when our phones were down? Could you, kindly, please refrain from using that number to contact us? It is actually his work phone. If you would like to call please use our home number [area code 571] and YES! you can now leave a message. Thanks so much.